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Lt. Templeton "Faceman" Peck (Character)
from "The A-Team" (1983)

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"The A-Team: Sheriffs of Rivertown (#3.10)" (1984)

[the A-Team are watching Boyle entering a cave]
Face: A cave. What's he doing in a cave?
Murdock: Makes sense to me. Most slimes I know hang out in caves.

[the A-Team and others are trapped in a cave]
"Hannibal" Smith: Well, what's the story?
Face: Did you ever hear of King Tut?
Murdock: We ain't never gonna get out of here, Colonel.
"B.A." Baracus: Hey man, the first time ever we have guns and ammo, and can't get out of here.

[B.A. is driving Murdock, Hannibal and Face into a cell, as a retribution for flying him to Rivertown]
Face: Now wait a minute, wait a minute, remember your oath as a deputy not to hurt other deputies?
"B.A." Baracus: [pointing to the table] I see three badges on the table. That mean you are civilians. I still got my badge. And as official law officer of Rivertown, I'm giving you guys two days in jail.
"B.A." Baracus: [takes the key from the lock and hits the bars with a stick] I love it... when a plan comes together.

[after they finished beating up the whole gang, B.A., Faceman and Murdock stand in the middle of the bar, draw their guns and shoot towards the ceiling]
"B.A." Baracus: Freeze! Peace officers!
Face: Nicely phrased.

[the A-Team sits at picnic table. Hannibal gives the others hamburgers and chips, and explains their mission]
"Hannibal" Smith: We're on our way to San Marcos. We are the new sheriffs of Rivertown.
Murdock: [excitedly] Wow! Sheriffs! I always wanted to get into law enforcement. I saw every TV Western and never missed a rerun of 'the Rifleman'.
"Hannibal" Smith: I hope not, Murdock, because it's a tough place.
"B.A." Baracus: Hey Hannibal, what ever happened to the other sheriffs they sent to Rivertown?
"Hannibal" Smith: Disappeared, without a trace, as they say.
Face: [snickers] And you said 'Sounds like a challenge'.
"Hannibal" Smith: Face, a lot of people are gonna benefit from this. And they agreed to pay our fee. They even offered to let us take their new executive jet for the trip.
[Hearing the word 'jet', B.A. raises his head suspiciously]

[Hearing that they are going to Rivertown by airplane, B.A. gets suspicious]
"B.A." Baracus: Hey Hannibal, you know I don't flying! And I've seen that trick before: you give me a burger and expect me to eat it!
"Hannibal" Smith: [sighs] B.A., you know you get cranky on an empty stomach. Now, eat your burger.
"B.A." Baracus: Not this time! I ain't falling for no sleeping powder in my burger. I'm taking yours!
[B.A. switches his burger with Hannibal's]
"Hannibal" Smith: Help yourself... just fine.
"B.A." Baracus: You figured I would think my burger was spiked and take yours! I'm taking Face's.
[B.A. takes Face's burger and gives him Hannibal's]
Face: OK.
[Face chuckles. Hearing this, B.A. gets suspicious again]
"B.A." Baracus: Wait a minute... I've got it! You figured I'd take your burger, get wise to it, then take Face's burger! And Face's burger is the one that got the sleeping powder in it... or Murdock's!
[Murdock looks at his hamburger, then offers it to B.A]
"B.A." Baracus: Hey, wait a minute, I'm on to you guys... the one place you would never put sleeping powder, and that's in the first burger you gave me!
[B.A. takes back his original hamburger from Hannibal, gives him Face's, then takes large bite from his hamburger. Nothing happens. Hannibal, blank expression on his face, gives B.A. small carton of milk. B.A., in the euphoria of his 'victory', drinks the milk without suspicion]
"B.A." Baracus: That's what I know!
[B.A. chuckles, but falls to sleep. Murdock grabs B.A.'s hambuger as he falls down, putting it in the bag]
Face: And he was doing so well...

[the A-Team is at the sheriff's office in Rivertown. Hannibal, Face and Murdock are wearing sheriff's uniform. B.A., still under the sleeping powder effect, is in one of the jail cells]
"Hannibal" Smith: [locks the cell where B.A. is] He should be waking up any time now.
Murdock: Well, I sure hope these bars are strong, because he is gonna be mad. Not to mention the fact that he'll never eat lunch with us again.
"Hannibal" Smith: I don't know, Murdock. He has a very forgiving heart.
Face: [leans his feet on the desk] You know, it's gonna be nice, to be on the right side of the law for a change.
"Hannibal" Smith: [smiles] You like that, ah, Face?
Murdock: [waving his pistols] Pow-Pow-Pow... I call these babies 'Betsy' and 'Bertha'. As B.A. might say: I pity the poor man who crosses my path, because I am ready, willing and able to take on any bad guy who wants a taste of 'Fast-Draw' Murdock.
[Hannibal gives Murdock a thumbs up. Suddenly B.A. wakes up and start screaming]

[as the sleeping powder wears off, B.A. wakes up screaming and finds himself in jail cell]
"B.A." Baracus: [stands, examining his sorroundings] What is this?
Murdock: 'What is this?' Well, after giving it a lot of thought and summing the situation real quick, this is one very mad B.A., holding on the bars of a jail cell... from the inside.
"B.A." Baracus: Hannibal, let me out of here! You tricked me. You put me to sleep again!
Murdock: [takes a metal cup] What you've got to do B.A., I've seen it in all the gangster pictures, is...
[Murdock rakes the cup across the cell bars, making terrible noise]
Murdock: ...and call up the warden's name.
"B.A." Baracus: [covers his ears] Hannibal!
[Hannibal gestures to Murdock to stop. Murdock complies]
"Hannibal" Smith: B.A., I have to swear you in as an official deputy of Rivertown. You have to take the oath.
"B.A." Baracus: [sullenly] If I take it, will you let me out?
"Hannibal" Smith: Word of honor. Face, swears him in.
Face: [gets up, gets the bible and approaches the cell] Put your hand on the bible. Raise your right hand.
[B.A. puts his left hand on the bible, raises his right hand but crosses his fingers]
Face: [scolding] B.A., this is the bible!
[reluctantly, B.A. uncrosses his fingers]
Face: [reciting the oath] 'I, B.A. Baracus, will do all the laws of Rivertown. I will conduct myself as an honorable peace officer and obey at all time, all the rules of deputyship'. Do you so swear?
"B.A." Baracus: [grudgingly] I swear!
Face: [gives B.A. deputy badge] There you go. Done!
"Hannibal" Smith: [unlocks the cell] Thanks, Face. OK, B.A., you're a free man.
"B.A." Baracus: Now I'll tear you guys apart...

Face: You want me to pick up who?
"Hannibal" Smith: Lupus. He works for Boyle. We saw him yesterday.
Face: Oh yeah, that's the big one, about 6' 4", built like a chest of drawers?
Murdock: Yeah, that's the guy. Now you be careful, he almost killed B.A. He's at least 6' 5", 240 pounds!
"Hannibal" Smith: Now, I'll check out his office. You check out his house. If that guy Lupus shows, bag him.
Face: Wait... the guy is 6' 6", 250 pounds, he almost killed B.A., and you want ME to bag him?
"Hannibal" Smith: Sure!
Face: [checks his pistol] Right... well, you don't care how I go about it, do you, colonel?
"Hannibal" Smith: No... use alacrity, and you can call me 'Sheriff'.

"The A-Team: Holiday in the Hills (#1.8)" (1983)

[Hannibal has just drugged B.A. and his head has hit the horn]
Face: Why does he always fall on the horn?
Hannibal: Beats me.

Face: I like working for the church now and then. Insurance against Judgement day.

Face: We're probably the only guys to survive an airplane crash only to be killed minutes later by an irate passenger.

Murdock: [Carrying B.A] This is the last time I'm carrying him. You think it's easy on this end? I got 200 pounds of gold pulling me down.
Face: Maybe it would help if we took the jewelry off?
Murdock: No, can't, I think he's got it hooked up to a burglary alarm.

Hannibal: [Pretending to be in hostile territory] Face, take the point.
Face: Anybody want to switch?
Hannibal: Face!

Face: Are you nuts?
Murdock: Absolutely and totally.
Face: How am I gonna get all this stuff out here in the middle of nowhere?
Murdock: Hey, you always say you can anything, anywhere anytime.
Face: Yeah, I...
Murdock: Think of it as a challenge. How did you get that '53 Cadillac convertable in the jungles of 'Nam?
Murdock: [more skeptical] How did you get that '53 Cadillac convertable in the jungles of 'Nam?
Face: Professional secret.
Hannibal: Of course, he was a lot younger then.

Louanne: You know, I've always been kinda fascinated with priests because they aren't allowed. I mean they don't...
Face: Ah, but sometimes... they do.
Louanne: Oh no! You and Mary-Anne?
Face: Sometimes the runner... stumbles.
Louanne: Oh father, I'm truly sorry. What can I do to help?
Face: Well... would you happen to have a gasoline engine?

Face: Hannibal, sometimes I think you're crazier than Murdock.
Hannibal: [laughs] Sometimes I am.

"The A-Team: Chopping Spree (#2.19)" (1984)

"Faceman" Peck: You know, we're supposed to be in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia. The Prince is real anxious to get back those two wives of his that were kidnapped by the Bedouin Sheik. Also, he's wiring to our account one milion Riyals.
"Hannibal" Smith: That's nice.
"Faceman" Peck: Isn't it?
"B.A." Baracus: Hey man, I don't want those Riyows, or Ryhows, whatever it is, I want cash money!
"Faceman" Peck: Which at the current range of exchange comes to 430.000 dollars, thank you very much.

Tawnia Baker: You're doing it again, Face. Didn't Hannibal say to leave the keys in the ignition?
Face: Aw, It's one thing to leave the car here in Siberia, but to leave the keys?

Templeton Peck: Hey look, give me a week, huh? I'll be out selling every plant coat you got standing around on this lot.
Sam Friendly: A week?
Templeton Peck: Right.
Sam Friendly: You got a day, big shot. Coat not included.
Templeton Peck: Now I know why they call him Mr. Friendly.

Templeton Peck: Hannibal, this is disgusting. I'm selling used cars, do you know what this does to the self esteem of an artist like myself?
John "Hannibal" Smith: [disguised as rich Johnny B] Ah, poor chap, sales not going well, what?
Templeton Peck: Not going well? I had to slow myself so half the stiffs around here don't think I, my customers are set-ups.

Face: You know, we should have taken that job in Saudi Arabia, then all we'd have to worry about were camels.
[B.A. growls at him]

Templeton Peck: [Face kisses Cindy passionately in order to cover up his safe cracking] I've been wanting to do that from the moment I first met you.
Cindy: It looks like we've got a lot in common.
Templeton Peck: Really?
Cindy: Pumpkin.
[she kisses him again]

Templeton Peck: Mr. Friendly, Johnny B. is here for his Porsche.
Sam Friendly: It ain't here. Tell him it ain't here.
Templeton Peck: No, but he's gonna ...
Sam Friendly: What do you want me to do, give birth to it, huh?

"The A-Team: In Plane Sight (#2.14)" (1984)

Face: You really think anyone who lives in Porterville is gonna have enough money to finance one of our operations? Come on, Hannibal, we keep subsidising these, eh, charity cases out of our own pockets and pretty soon we're gonna end up on the streets.
Murdock: Never. You can always stay at my place. Plenty of beds.

Templeton Peck: [B.A. has been hypnoticed in order to get him on a plane] To think of all the sodium penthanol we waisted when all we had to do is hypnotise him.

Faceman: I don't believe it. You mean they actually keep records on drug smuggling?
Hannibal: Everybody keeps records. Even ones they never want found. Remember Nixon?

B.A. Baracus: Hey, Hannibal, I ain't flying, man. Now I don't know how you guys be getting me in and out of these planes, but this time I'm ready for you. This time...
Face, Hannibal: Eclipse.
[B.A. falls into a hypnotic trance]

Drug Dealer Wilson Corless: Who's this guy?
Mack Dalton: His doctor. We needed him to get out of the hospital. And we figured we he'll probably help out, cause this banana keeps slipping in and out of reality every five minutes.
Drug Dealer Wilson Corless: He's gotta get us to that plane.
Mack Dalton: He'll get us to that plane, won't he, doctor?
Templeton "Faceman" Peck: I'm his doctor, I don't control his mind.

Templeton "Faceman" Peck: [Murdock, as Mr. Nash, has fainted] Did you hear that, Mr. Nash? Would you like another painkiller?
Mack Dalton: [cocks his gun] I got a pain killer for the both of ya. Now where's the plane?

Faceman: We're outta ammo, B.A., give me some clips.
B.A. Baracus: What?
Faceman: Clips, gimmie clips!
Judy Rogers: [B.A. falls into a hypnotic trance] You said the trigger word. You said 'eclips'!

"The A-Team: Cowboy George (#4.16)" (1986)

[Boy George reveals his contract stipulated a fee of $1.2 million]
Hannibal: Face?
Face: We'll, I've been so busy, I didn't get a chance to explain our little contractual divot, here.
Hannibal: Face, $1.2 million is not a divot, it is a crater!

[Murdock, with help from Boy George, has disguised himself as a pregnant woman in order to gain entry to the jail-house]
Murdock: Herbert, open up, darling, its Cynthia!
Hannibal: Cynthia, go away!
Murdock: Herbert, oh Herbert, we have to talk, for the baby!
B.A. Baracus: Baby? what's that fool talking about?
Face: Let's open up and find out!

[Hannibal, Face and B.A. have been locked in a small-town jailhouse by a fake sheriff, who then leaves with all his deputies]
Face: Why would they lock us up then take off?
Hannibal: They've probably gone to tell the townsfolk that *we* stole their money. Make a great diversion - the bad guys get away, while the locals start looking at us, and throwing ropes over tree limbs.
Face: Makes sense!
Hannibal: I think we need to figure a way out of this jail, guys!
B.A. Baracus: That's why we brought you along, Hannibal. That's you're department!
Hannibal: Okay, the Hannibal Smith Ideas Department is now open for suggestions!
B.A. Baracus: That's not an idea, Hannibal!
Face: [Walking to the bars and taking a small pouch from his pocket] Well, I have an idea.
Hannibal: [Looking at the pouch] A set of lock picks! You know, sometimes Face, your sense of larceny is your most attractive trait!
Face: I know!

Hannibal: The Hannibal Smith Idea Department is now open for suggestions.
B.A. Baracus: That's not an idea, Hannibal.
Face: Well guys,
[sighs]
Face: ... I have an idea.
[produces a small bag from his pocket]
Hannibal: A set of lockpicks.
Face: Hm hmm.
Hannibal: Face, sometimes you're sense of larceny is your most attractive trait.
Face: I know.

Face: Wait a minute, see I, I agreed to book Cowboy George...
Boy George: Well, I'm Boy George and I agreed to play the Arizona Forum.
Face: Forum, ah, well there's no Forum here, I mean this is a bar, this is a dance hall, it's called the 'Floor'em'.

Hannibal: Face, how could you trust a guy named 'Dash'?
Face: You see, he owes me a little favor, 'cause I, eh, helped him out with his, eh, ex-wife.

[Hannibal, Face and B.A. have left the cell, only to find they can't leave because the jail-house surrounded by angry townspeople]
Face: [Walking in from the cell area] I just found the real sheriff - dead!
B.A. Baracus: Oh, man, they're going to think we killed him!
Hannibal: Well, I admit that this situation has some ragged edges, but I can't think with all this noise!

"The A-Team: Beneath the Surface (#4.19)" (1986)

Templeton "Faceman" Peck: I can't believe that Fulbright would sink that low. That he would find an unrequited love from my youth and force her to set me up, that's just...
"Hannibal" Smith: She's after the reward, Face.
Templeton "Faceman" Peck: Why Hannibal, you are so cynical.

"Hannibal" Smith: [stiffling a laugh] How many times did you con this guy, Face? I bet he was your number one stooge.
Elaine: He talked about you constantly. Always told me what a great guy you were.
Templeton "Faceman" Peck: I am a great guy! Barry was interested in pirates, and for twenty bucks I sold him a treasure map.
"B.A." Baracus: I'm glad I didn't know you when I was a kid.

"B.A." Baracus: Face, did you really sell your best friend a fake treasure map?
Templeton "Faceman" Peck: B.A., I needed the money, ok?

Templeton "Faceman" Peck: You know, Hannibal, I'm worried about Rebecca. What if the military's detained her?
"Hannibal" Smith: Well, if they detained her, it's because they wanted to take back the reward they paid her.

Templeton "Faceman" Peck: Well, of course, if there was a treasure, I'd, eh, I'd own half of it because I sold him the map in the first place.
"Hannibal" Smith: Face!
[gives him a stern, persuasive grin]
Templeton "Faceman" Peck: Ok, Barry owns the whole thing, ok? He'd want me to have half of it, cause he's a friend of mine, but...

Barry Green: Temp, do you remember the day that you conned me out of my Alman Brothers tickets?
Templeton "Faceman" Peck: Listen Barry, look, I never realized how hard I was on you, it's just that you were so easy, you were like a proving ground to me.
Barry Green: No, no, see, that was the day Elaine and her family came the orphanage.
Templeton "Faceman" Peck: Aha.
Barry Green: Now I had to be you for a couple of hours, while you were gone remember?
Templeton "Faceman" Peck: Yeah.
Barry Green: They really liked me, and that was the day they decided to adopt me. I told them the truth later.
Templeton "Faceman" Peck: You told them you were me and they, they adopted you?

Morgan: [holding Philip's Cross] Well now, ain't that something.
H.M. Murdock: That's a sacred relic, Morgan. You keep that, you'll be doomed for all eternity.
Morgan: I'll take my chances.
Barry Green: How did you find us?
Morgan: I got the location of the wreck out of your computer.
Barry Green: You can work a computer?
Morgan: No, but Maitland can, if you put a gun in his back. Allright, all of ya, face down on the deck. Move it!
Barry Green: Are you gonna kill us?
Morgan: You and the girl maybe, but the others are worth much more alive, being the A-Team.
Templeton "Faceman" Peck: You got the cross and you, eh, you want the reward on top of that?
Morgan: Got to live on something, before we can bust this thing up and fence it.

"The A-Team: The Out-of-Towners (#1.7)" (1983)

Templeton "Faceman" Peck: I figure, If you're gonna tail somebody in New York, they'll never suspect a taxi.

Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: Face, I need garbage!
[slams the door]
Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: Now I dont just mean any garbage.
Templeton "Faceman" Peck: Ah, you mean a specific kind of garbage.
Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: When I say garbage, I mean garbage, dirty garbage.
Amy Amanda Allen: Most garbage is dirty, Hannibal. That's why they call it garbage.
"Howling Mad" Murdock: No, he means real garbage.
"B.A." Baracus: Only a sucker like you would understand garbage!

Templeton "Faceman" Peck: Hannibal, you want all these things: a taxi cab, garbage truck, tv store. You know I don't keep all this stuff in a coffee can in my backyard, you know!

Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: [using a wireless to comunicate] Stay with 'em, kid. And let me know if they pick up reinforcements.
Templeton "Faceman" Peck: [into the receiver of a taxi cab] Auf wiedersehen.

Templeton "Faceman" Peck: [Face and Hannibal are using walky talkies] Even when they play dirty, they play dirty.
Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: Yeah, but we play dirtier.

Templeton "Faceman" Peck: Hannibal, I know you love it when a plan comes together.

"The A-Team: Curtain Call (#2.23)" (1984)

Face: I told you Decker saw us at that toll crossing this morning.
Hannibal: Well, you were right, feel better now?

Tax Accountant Artie Simmons: What happened to you?
Face: [posing as 'Bareclaw' Jones] Well, I've been lookin' for the big one. Yeah, only, he found me.
Tax Accountant Artie Simmons: Who found you?
Face: Old Luke.
Tax Accountant Artie Simmons: Luke?
Face: Yeah, a griz. Big, ugly, mean, Yeah, I've been after him for a year.
Tax Accountant Artie Simmons: I told you there were bears around here!
Face: Bears? We ain't talking bears, we're talking Bears!
[points to his eyepatch]
Face: What do you think, I got this from winking too much? No sirree, Old Luke gave me this. I'd show you fellers what's under this eh, patch, only you fellers probably just had lunch.

Hannibal: Face, you're gettin' slow.
Face: Slow? Twelve minutes? Hannibal, I had to say hello!

Tawnia Baker: Face, are you listening to me? You go in there and you'll be on the first flight to Leavensworth.
Face: Listen, without those medical suplies Murdock is dead, so it doesn't matter what the risk is, now does it? And, like you said, the worst that could happen is I go to prison. Not exactly my idea of little fun in the sun, but eh, the hours are regular, the food's plentyful and there's plenty of starch in the shirts.

Tawnia Baker: Face, your amazing! I can't believe you pulled it off.
Face: Well, green always was my lucky color!

Face: This time's it's checkmate.

"The A-Team: Mind Games (#4.9)" (1985)

Templeton Peck: Come on, guys, cheer up! I mean, it's not like I'm leaving you. Okay, sure, I won't have the fun of galloping through mud holes and getting shot at, but, uh, I'll be with you in spirit!

Templeton Peck: That's right, Chuck-a-Luck, it was tough, but you know, when, when, things are tough, sometimes they make you a better man.
Chuck-a-Luck the Chicken: Why, that's really interesting, Faceman
[clucks]
Chuck-a-Luck the Chicken: My b-b-b-barnyard friends were telling me just the other day, that when they got accused of something they didn't do, that was really tough, because got very angry!

Murdock: If Faceman does leave...
Templeton Peck: I'm not leaving, Murdock, I'm just gonna be our agent on surface, that's all.
Murdock: As I was saying, if Faceman does leave, why can't I be the new scrounger? You know, new hair, swank new threads, I could drive the 'vette...
Templeton Peck: Oh, eh, scuse me, Murdock, the 'vette goes with me

Templeton Peck: Who are you?
General 'Bull' Fulbright: Fulbright, General Harland Fulbright.
Templeton Peck: 'Bull' Fulbright, the... Terror of Toledo? Well, well, well, and what are you doing here, General?
General 'Bull' Fulbright: I'm here to squash you and all the slime you run around with. You see, I know what you really are.
Templeton Peck: A war hero, unjustly charged with crimes he didn't commit.
General 'Bull' Fulbright: Not even close. You're garbage that got wrapped up in a nice package.

Templeton Peck: [holding his autobiography, 'Pecking away at the system'] 'Course, we're gonna get Bob to play me, you know, we're gonna have to center it on the Faceman character, slightly.
"B.A." Baracus: Bob who?
Templeton Peck: Redford.

Templeton Peck: Oh, Hannibal did you see the news? My pardon went poof!

"The A-Team: The Beast from the Belly of a Boeing (#1.12)" (1983)

Face: Oh, so now we're in the charity business?
Hannibal: Face, don't you remember in '69 when we had six days of R&R coming?
Face: Yeah, we tried to get that flight out of Da Nang to Hawaii.
Hannibal: Right, all the flights were booked. Beller Air bumped two tourists and we got a flight out. We owe 'em this one.

Face: Where's Murdock? I had the field trip to the newspaper office all set up. I hope you didn't blow it, Amy.
Amy Amanda Allen: Murdock wasn't even at the hospital. Fact, when I got there they were moving his things out of his room. The front desk said the administration had made a change...
B.A. Baracus: What kind of a change can they make with a dude like that? Aside from giving him a new brain?

Hannibal: Military history has taught us that conflict is merely the seizing of space from ones aggressor. They've got the space up there, we got the offensive posture down here.
Face: So the two of us assume an offensive posture against six guys with guns in an airplane at 35.000 over the ocean?
Hannibal: Well, it's the application of the theory that's interesting.

Jackson: [Pulls a fake moustache off of Hannibal's face] It seems you've lost some weight, Mr. Beller.
Face: He's been sick.
Hannibal: Yeah, a virus. Haven't been able to eat for weeks. Runny nose, infected ears. Moustache falls off.

Jackson: Who are you?
Hannibal: [removing his wig] Were a couple of ah, freelance Lone Ranger types. Beller hired us to handle you guys.
Face: Lone Ranger types?
Hannibal: Yeah.
Jackson: All right. Get back to the luggage compartment and get the parachutes. We're bailing out just as soon as we're out of range of the radar. Unless you have wings, you're dead. And you and Tonto can crack your lousy jokes as you go into the ocean.
Face: Get 'em up, Scout!

"The A-Team: Firing Line (#5.3)" (1986)

B.A.: Hurry up, Face!
Face: Give me a break, B.A., will ya? It took me all night to turn this spoon into a lockpick.

Gen. Hunt Stockwell: Now, make no mistake, these missions are obviously something I can give to standard operatives. You must realize the possible concequences.
Face: Suicide missions.
Gen. Hunt Stockwell: Ah, not... all of them.

Hannibal: Well, how long do we have to let you know, I mean, before you get us out?
Gen. Hunt Stockwell: Colonel... That's not part of the deal. I can't get you out.
B.A.: Say what?
Face: Wait a minute, what do you mean you can't get us out of here?
Gen. Hunt Stockwell: Well, I could not assist three federal prisoners convicted of murder in escaping. Contact me upon your successful evasion of your current situation. Then we have a deal.

Face: If Murdock gets us out of this as far as I'm concerned, he can have anything he wants as long as I live.
B.A.: I don't know... I gotta think about this.

B.A.: How long are you out for, man?
Murdock: Well, as long as I want. I'm, eh, officially released.
Face: What?
Murdock: I'm, I'm, no longer insane.

"The A-Team: Where Is the Monster When You Need Him? (#4.3)" (1985)

Jenny: It's my first real featured acting role. Eh, I did a 'Love Boat' in May, but I was mostly just background. Except for I did say 'Good Morning Mr. Faskin' to Donald O'Connor out by the pool.
Faceman: Oh, Jenny, Jenny, say that again!
Jenny: What, you mean the 'Good morning Mr. Faskin' line?
Faceman: Yes, yes, just the way you said it before.

Faceman: Murdock, eh, how does she look?
Murdock: This is what we call in pilot land a coffin with wings and it's a good thing that the big angry guy hasn't laid eyes on it or you'd be looking for a soft place to sit, you know what I mean?
Faceman: Yeah, I know what you mean.
One Shot: Hey, who's that giant with the mohawk that's passed out in the cabin?
Faceman: Oh, him, don't worry about him, he's just there for ballast.

Sheriff: You must turn the plane around now, or I will be forced to take you all prisoner.
Faceman: My amigo! Look, only a week ago I was down here, you said to me 'hombre de carra', that's, eh 'Faceman' in Spanish. You said 'me casa e su casa' that's my house is your house. Well, whatever happened to come to my house and be a guest for dinner, whatever happened to all that, amigo mio stuff, huh?
Hannibal: Does, eh, this guy have a daughter, Face?

Jenny: Everybody's really angry with you and I don't think it's fair. I mean you had it all set up, they broke their promises.
Faceman: Oh, I know, Jenny. I just don't understand it. I lie, I cheat, I steal, and I just don't get any respect!
Faceman: It says here that Lake, Charles T. has to perform the part.
Jerry: Yes!
Faceman: Yes.
Jerry: He just left!
Faceman: No, no, no, no, Jerry, Charles Lake left, Lake Charles is standing here, looking at ya!

Jerry: How can we beat these guys with prop weapons and special effects?
Hannibal: Jer, you never know how clever or stupid the enemy is until you test him!
Jenny: Hey, be careful, okay?
Faceman: Ah. Careful is my name.
Hannibal: Lake Charles is your name.

"The A-Team: Mexican Slayride (#1.1)" (1983)

Lt. Templeton 'Faceman' Peck: Murdock and I will handle the film commission.
Capt. H.M. "Howling Mad" Murdock: Are we doing "Boots and Bikini's" again? Aw, I hate that movie.
Lt. Templeton 'Faceman' Peck: We're gonna keep making it till we get it right.

José the Hotel Manager: Beunos dias, señor, are you checking in?
Lt. Templeton 'Faceman' Peck: I'm with 20th Century Fox, we're with the movie company.
José the Hotel Manager: Eh, pardon me sir?
Lt. Templeton 'Faceman' Peck: The Farrah Fawcet, Bo Derek, Loni Anderson movie?
José the Hotel Manager: The what?
Lt. Templeton 'Faceman' Peck: Of course you've been told about it?

Reporter Amy Amanda Allen: Do you do this all the time?
Lt. Templeton 'Faceman' Peck: We haven't done the movie company in six months.

Lt. Templeton 'Faceman' Peck: [referring to B.A] Is he nuts?
Capt. H.M. "Howling Mad" Murdock: No, I'm nuts, he's just an angry mudsucker.

Reporter Amy Amanda Allen: Excuse me, but what are you doing?
Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: We're tying him up so he won't kill us if he comes to.
Reporter Amy Amanda Allen: I see.
[pause]
Reporter Amy Amanda Allen: Excuse me again, but isn't he one of you? I mean, isn't he on the team?
Lt. Templeton "Faceman" Peck: Yes.
Reporter Amy Amanda Allen: So then why did you have to drug him?
Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: He hates the pilot.
Reporter Amy Amanda Allen: Hates the pilot? Why?
Lt. Templeton "Faceman" Peck: Because our pilot is insane.

"The A-Team: Timber! (#3.5)" (1984)

Samantha Lawrence: If I were just a man, I would haul off and crack McEwan one right across the jaw.
Face: Well, I'm glad you're not a man. I like you just the way you are.

Murdock: People have been looking for this missing link for years. I'm gonna tie this baby and I'm gonna get my name right up there with Charles Darwin and Leo Bell.
Hannibal: Leo Bell, who's that?
Murdock: That's the guy in the room next to me. He's got a mouth so big he can put a whole jar of peanut butter in it, lid and all.
Hannibal: Really?
Murdock: Aye.
Face: Jealous?

Face: Boy, these trees really look a lot bigger when you get outside...
Hannibal: The bigger they are, the harder they fall.
Face: Now, you had to use that one, didn't you, Hannibal?

Samantha Lawrence: Please be careful.
Face: You can count on it. I'm allergic to bullets, especially those headed in my direction.

Samantha Lawrence: It's a long way to L.A., so I brought you some sandwiches.
[kisses Face on the cheek]
Samantha Lawrence: Your favorite kind.
Face: Ah, my favorite kind?
Samantha Lawrence: Ham sandwiches.

"The A-Team: Bullets and Bikinis (#3.1)" (1984)

"Faceman" Peck: [at the dentist] Aw, relax, relax! B.A. Dentists are our friends. And if you're real good, he, eh, might give you a sucker when you're done.
"B.A." Baracus: A sucker is what I feel like for being here.

"Faceman" Peck: You know, I think my idea of having all the help wear bikini's is really gonna pay off...

"Hannibal" Smith: We gotta get our hands on Joey's girl. She knows what we need to know.
Sandy: I hear you can find her every morning taking her beauty swim at her private beach, usually without her clothes on.
"Hannibal" Smith: Really? Perfect. Face, you go out and say hello.
"Faceman" Peck: Why, you mean that sweet, beautiful creature who pulled a 357 Magnum on you?

Sandy: I don't know how we can ever pay you back for all you've done for us.
"Hannibal" Smith: I got a tan, what more could I want?
Sandy: And eh, I think I owe you an apology, Mr. Peck.
"Faceman" Peck: What happened to 'Face'?
Sandy: Well, I respect you now.

"B.A." Baracus: What is this, Hannibal?
[throws him a newspaper]
"Hannibal" Smith: It's today's paper.
"B.A." Baracus: Right. Today's paper, which means today is the ninth. Which means I got here in a day.
"Faceman" Peck: Well, what's a day or two among friends?
"B.A." Baracus: A plane ride, to me!

"The A-Team: There's Always a Catch (#2.9)" (1983)

Nurse Lewis: What did you say your friends name was again, please?
Templeton Peck: Eh, Lothar Quint. With a Q. You've probably seen him on daytime soap operas. Had a big guest role on 'Search for Tomorrow'. Played a pro quarterback who turns psychic.Yeah, he was just marvelous.

Templeton Peck: Nice dog, what breed is he, piranha?

Col. Roderick Decker: [the Team has been caught by Decker] By tomorrow morning you'll be eating breakfast with 500 guys just like you.
Templeton Peck: Eh, there is nobody just like us.

Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: [tapping his wristwatch] You know, we've been here almost an hour.
Templeton Peck: Don't tell me what time it is! Tell me what a great plan you just thought of.

"The A-Team: Dishpan Man (#5.1)" (1986)

John "Hannibal" Smith: Face, B.A., I'd like you to meet 'Dishpan' Frankie Santana, the best special effects man in Hollywood.
Bosco "B.A." Baracus: Is this the dude who blew you up, Hannibal?
Frankie "Dishpan" Santana: And who are you, a labor rep from the jewelery market?
Templeton "Faceman" Peck: I like him. He's got a reckless streak.

John "Hannibal" Smith: He says Captain Curtis is alive.
H.M. "Howling Mad" Murdock: Curtis is alive?
Templeton "Faceman" Peck: Wait a minute: then he could testify that we hit that bank in Hanoi under orders. Yeah, then we'd uh - we'd be free to be normal people. No offense, Murdock

Templeton "Faceman" Peck: Hannibal, just one question. How are we gonna get on an airplane controlled by terrorists?
John "Hannibal" Smith: Effects!

Frankie "Dishpan" Santana: [referring to Murdock] Who is he?
Templeton "Faceman" Peck: Well, eh, when we get on the plane, you can sit next to him and if you figure him out, let us know.

"The A-Team: Children of Jamestown (#1.2)" (1983)

Amy: Wow. Those blood capsules are really realistic.
Face: Think so, huh? I accidentally swallowed the capsules. Hannibal split the inside of my lip.
Hannibal: Sorry, kid. You walked right into that one.
Face: [spitting out a tooth] Oh, there goes another cap!
B.A. Baracus: Hannibal, why did you go bust Face-man in the lip for? You know you make him ugly you're gonna mess up our meal-ticket. We won't be able to get into good hotel rooms.

Face: Boy, eh, you really fill out that tunic. You used to be a line backer for the Rams?
Brother Stephen: We do the Lord's work. If you're here to taunt us, please don't.

Coulton's Daughter: Are you sure you're all right? You really should be lying down, you know.
Face: Oh, I can't lie down. Not till we get Hannibal's boots back.

Hannibal: Hey Face, what do you think these guy wear under their skirts?
Face: Uh, I don't know.
[to closest cult member]
Face: Half slip?
[gets hit in the gut with a rifle]
Face: Ohhh!
Hannibal: [to closest cult member] Garter belt?
[gets in the gut with a rifle]
Hannibal: Arrgh!
B.A. Baracus: I think you guys wear panty hose!
[gets hit doesn't react]

"The A-Team: Semi-Friendly Persuasion (#2.22)" (1984)

Face: You say you're Society doesn't believe in violence, well, heh, we're not exactly caterers.
Eric: We want you to build our meeting house.
Hannibal: We're not exaclty carpenters, either.

Templeton "Faceman" Peck: Well, Paris doesn't have to worry about losing the tourists to all of dear old Kellisburg.
"Howling Mad" Murdock: Well, sometimes there's a lot to be said for the quiet life.
Templeton "Faceman" Peck: Yeah, none of it good.

Kale Sykes: Who the hell are you?
"Faceman" Peck: Pretty snappy comeback!
Kale Sykes: I asked you a question, boy!
"Hannibal" Smith: Face, did he call me 'boy'?
"Faceman" Peck: Yeah, no doubt about it, this is devinately a force to be reckoned with.

Face: Hannibal, I hate waiting around to watch the end.

"The A-Team: A Small and Deadly War (#1.4)" (1983)

Face: The magic word is... tuberculosis.
[Murdock starts coughing violently]

Face: Yeah, when I was a kid I always wanted to be a policeman. Did you know that?
Hannibal: No.
Face: Why, I remember, in the orphanage, I had a whole scrapbook of Dick Tracy and his crime stopper texts.
Hannibal: Really.
Face: Oh yeah, my favorite TV show was Dragnet.

Face: Replace the button on the collar with one from the kit.
Amy: Bringing me along to sow, how wonderfully sexist.
Face: Well, we each do what we have to do. If you think you can pick these three locks in ten minutes, then eh...

Hannibal: It's the same plan we nailed that Kong General with outside Ka-san.
Face: Ah, You mean where I took it in the leg.
Murdock: Where I got shot down?
B.A.: That was a terrible plan!
Hannibal: Now we got all the kinks worked out of it.

"The A-Team: Say It with Bullets (#2.16)" (1984)

Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: Come on, Face, what happened to all that eye-hand coordination?
Lt. Templeton "Faceman" Peck: I'm concentrating. Don't rush genius!

Faceman: Listen Hannibal, there's about a hundred reasons why I hate this plan of yours, but my biggest objection, even bigger than my objection to letting someone else drive my 'vette, my biggest objection is sending the Golden Age of Television here to back up Tawnia while she's trying to scam a piece of scuzzy luggage like Harnett.
Murdock: Thanks for the support, oh facial one.

Faceman: Oh, boy, I hate situations like this. You go in trying to help mankind and, eh, all of a sudden you realize you're adjusting your halo in a two way mirror.

Col. Decker: [outside, over bullhorn] It's over, Smith. You lost.
"Hannibal" Smith: And I was having such a nice day.
"Faceman" Peck: Oh, don't worry, he'll give us a minute like he always does.
Col. Decker: [off screen] You've got thirty seconds to give up your weapons before we open fire.
"Hannibal" Smith: Got to give the man credit, he's learning.

"The A-Team: The Only Church in Town (#2.3)" (1983)

Gail: It's hard to believe I'm spending so much time with one of the top neurologists in the country...
Templeton "Faceman" Peck: Yeah, well, I just happen to be one of those guys who doesn't have any trouble separating work... from pleasure.
Gail: You haven't even said one thing about your job.
Templeton "Faceman" Peck: Oh, well, you know, it's, its a job like any other job, you know: nerves, synapses, ganglions, stuff like that. See, it all boils down to feelings. So in a way, we've been discussing my job all night.

Amy Allen: [Amy and Face are sitting in the back of a car with a knocked out B.A. between them] He really does look so peaceful when he sleeps.
Templeton "Faceman" Peck: Well, at least this time he went out with a smile on his face.

Amy Allen: I don't think I've seen this side of you before. Why, I mean Face, ever since I've known you, you've had a different bombshell on your arm. I mean, I never... really thought any one woman could have this effect on you. I guess, eh, Leslie Bektall is maybe the reason why?
Templeton "Faceman" Peck: She was the only woman I ever loved.

Templeton "Faceman" Peck: You know, eh, you were right. If you had told me on that night 15 years ago that you were going to be a nun, I eh, I don't think I could have accepted it. Then I would have to say goodbye to you and, eh, I'm realising right now how very much I hate to do that.
Sister Teresa: Well, then don't. Besides, it's usually word that somebody is leaving.
Templeton "Faceman" Peck: Someone is leaving. Me.
Sister Teresa: No, not to me. To me you're always here. You always will be.
[they hug]
Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: [off screen] Let's go, Lieutenant.
Templeton "Faceman" Peck: The commander calls.
[starts to leave]
Sister Teresa: Faceman? God bless you.

"The A-Team: Diamonds 'n Dust (#2.1)" (1983)

Face: [to Hannibal] Don't you smile at me... that's not even a real smile! It's just a bunch of teeth playing with my mind.

Face: [speaking to a potential client] We don't work mines, I don't see how we can help you.

Murdock: I, I don't know if this is gonna work, Face. What country did you say this uniform's from?
Face: Sherman Oaks neighborhood watch and parent patrol.
Murdock: What rank?
Face: Chief crossing guard.
Murdock: Terrific.
Face: Murdock, It's the singer, not the song.

Face: That's not even a real smile! It's a row of teeth playing with my mind!

"The A-Team: Moving Targets (#3.19)" (1985)

Face: Knock knock!
"Pasadena" Murdock: Who's there?
B.A. Baracus: Us.
"Pasadena" Murdock: Us who?
B.A. Baracus: Us who's gonna knock you out, fool!

"Pasadena" Murdock: You can call me 'Pasadena' Murdock.
B.A. Baracus: Makes more sense to call you 'fool'!
"Pasadena" Murdock: But 'fool' doesn't have that nice ring to it.
Hannibal Smith: What's this?
Face: Oh, he's an adventurer, forging new frontiers.
Hannibal Smith: No kidding!

Face: [having to untie B.A.s ropes after transporting him in a plane] I'd rather sit naked with a king cobra then let him out of that plane!

Salina: [carrying a heavy backpack] I don't suppose you want to carry this for me?
Face: Ah, no, I was about to ask you the same thing.

"The A-Team: One More Time (#1.10)" (1983)

"B.A." Baracus: Where are we?
Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: Borneo.
"B.A." Baracus: Where?
Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: Shhh!
"Faceman" Peck: Borneo. You know, small island in the Western Pacific Ocean divided between Malaysia, Indonesia and Brunei.
"B.A." Baracus: Are you sure?
"Faceman" Peck: Positive. I used to date a geography major.

Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: The U.S. Military pushed you out of an airplane.
"Faceman" Peck: That's right, pushed all of us.
"B.A." Baracus: Hey man, the last thing I remember, we were being detained by the MP's. We all were. And they don't push out no airplane for robbin' no bank of Hanoi!
Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: 'm afraid they did, when we told them we wouldn't take the mission if you didn't come along. I think they spiked our milk.
"Faceman" Peck: Yeah, and that's a terrible thing to do to something that baby's drink.

Rashaad: American commando's illegally in my country without papers? Hehe, this will be an international incident.
"Faceman" Peck: What do you mean international incident? We heard you had great potato soup and wanted to get some before it was all gone.

"Faceman" Peck: What about that trial?
Rashaad: I find you guilty. You will be shot within an hour.

"The A-Team: West Coast Turnaround (#1.9)" (1983)

Face: Well, this is a pretty good mock-up of a squad car, but it's not perfect. So, we're transportation people from Universal Studios, making a movie called 'It came from planet X' . That way we get pulled over by a real highway patrol car, we're not gonna get busted.
B.A.: Good luck with that one, sucker!

Face: Yeah, somebody's gonna be mad at somebody...

Hannibal: Murdock, B.A. take the right. Face, stay with me.
Face: Er, Hannibal, if we're gonna fight, I'd really prefer to be teamed with B.A.
Murdock: Me too.
Hannibal: Are you guys saying you don't wanna team up with me?
Face: Yes.
Murdock: Yes.
Hannibal: Why?
B.A.: I'll tell you why. Because when you're on the jazz, man, you're dangerous!

Face: Excuse me, but would you mind terribly taking your foot down off the bumper there? Er, no offence but it's so rude.
Chuck Easterland: I'm a rude guy.
Face: Oh, well, in that case, go right ahead.

"The A-Team: Water, Water Everywhere (#2.10)" (1983)

Amanda Huston: You know, Face, I got a confession to make.
Face: Good, I'm a Scorpio, you know, we're great at keeping confidences.

Face: You know, when we're apart, we're just a bunch of social misfits. But when we're together... well, that's something very special.

Hannibal: I'm gonna need something mobile. With a tank on it.
Face: Oh, that's all we need, just a tank with wheels, haha, no problem, I can get that at any Seven Eleven store. They're open twentyfour hours.
Amy Allen: Come on Face, we all know you can do it.

"The A-Team: Bounty (#3.22)" (1985)

Faceman: B.A., I've never heard you sound so concerned about Murdock.
B.A.: I'm not concerned! It's just that the crazy fool can't help himself.

Faceman: Oh, yeah, gee, well, I can't tell you what this means to me. I mean, here I am actually talking to The Cowboy himself. I mean, Billy Bob, Billy Bob! Can't wait to tell the little old lady, I'll now bet she'll never believe me...
Cowboy Billy Bob: Okay, you saw the Cowboy. Now, why don't you two just make like a gun and shoot outta here, huh?

Faceman: [putting on a Wolfman Jack voice] This is The Faceman sitting in for The Cowboy, yessiree, the Facial Phantom of the airwaves!

"The A-Team: The Battle of Bel Air (#2.15)" (1984)

"Hannibal" Smith: [to Tawnia] We don't give autographs, honey. What's going on, Murdock?
Tawnia Baker: I got some very important information for you: Colonel Decker is after you.
"Faceman" Peck: Now there's a hot flash.

Face: Er, excuse me, this is the Monster from Camp Runnamuck set, isn't it?

Tawnia Baker: Oh, Face, I almost died when you went out that window!
Face: You almost died?

"The A-Team: Skins (#3.17)" (1985)

Murdock: Well, B.A. Baracus, what's it feel like now you here? You taking it all in? It's hard to imagine that, centuries ago, your tribesmen, settled right here, on this ground upon which we lay. Look at the dirt, go on, look at it, look at it, look at it. The tips of their toes curdled around each particle of dirt right here in the palm of my hand. The ashes from their campfires, right here in the palm of my hand. The drippings from their pots and pans, right here in the palm of my hand. The leftovers after Sunday dinner right here in the palm of my hand. B.A. Baracus, this is your roots!
B.A. Baracus: [grabs the dirt] This is dirt, fool, which I'm gonna stuff in your face if you don't shut up.
[walks off]
Faceman: What's the matter with him?
Murdock: Eh! Nostalgia.

Faceman: Er, Hannibal, we got a lotta balls juggling here, I just hope your plan comes together.
"Hannibal" Smith: Have a little faith, Lieutenant.

Faceman: I don't believe that. Do you believe that? Do you believe those guys bought that?
Murdock: Look, you can fool some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time, but that sucker back there we could have fooled every time.
Faceman: Yeah, they don't make them bad guys like they used to, do they?

"The A-Team: The Heart of Rock N' Roll (#4.6)" (1985)

Face: Boy, C.J. Mack. I wore out three copies of his 'Blood Simple' album when we were in 'Nam.
B.A.: Hey man, there isn't a dude alive who haven't heard of C.J. Mack.
Murdock: You can say that again, brother, for right in the middle of the blood and the guts and the noise, you could hear the reasuring sounds of C.J. Mack. And 'Blood Simple' was practically the common soldier's anthem.
Hannibal: That was before he got send up for manslaugther.
Rick James: Before he got send for manslaughter, that's nothing. The judge gave him full sentence man, 'cause he was rock and roll and loud music and all that silly nonsense. But that was way back then. And he pleaded guilty. And he admitted he fell asleep at the wheel, and he admitted he hit the girl, but he wasn't on no drugs, he didn't have any alcohol in his system. He's a special kinda cat, man, and he took the full account. I don't know what it is, but something's happened, he's into something, and I really wanna help him.

Faceman: I was wondering if you might have a moment?
Devon Paige: Not for people who approach me in underground garages. I have an office, call for an appointment.

Faceman: See, I'm, I'm James Peppich of the Central Bureau of Parol Applicants.
Devon Paige: [pulls a gun on him] Wrong. You are not anyone called James Peppich and there is no such thing as the devision of Parol Applications.
Faceman: Lucky for you! You'd be in a lot of trouble pointing that gun at me.
Devon Paige: I have a license to carry this. I also happen to be a very good shot and will have no trouble if I decide to shoot you.
Faceman: Let's avoid that at all costs!

"The A-Team: Till Death Do Us Part (#1.11)" (1983)

"Hannibal" Smith: You look just like that guy at Lucy's in Saigon.
"Faceman" Peck: Well, you look like Lucy.

"Hannibal" Smith: I've explained it to you before: If we get Jackie in a marriage contract, Calvin can't touch her. If he kills her, you get the money.
"Faceman" Peck: But what if he kills me?
"Hannibal" Smith: Well, then the orphanage in your will gets the money. See, he gets nothing!

"Faceman" Peck: I'm sorry things couldn't have worked out another way, but eh, now that you've dumped your husband, what are you doing tonight?
Jacqueline 'Jackie' Taylor: Hmm.
[laughs]
Jacqueline 'Jackie' Taylor: I think things worked great. Besides, Face, you're not the marrying kind. It would take you about a week to get the seven year itch.

"The A-Team: Lease with an Option to Die (#4.4)" (1985)

B.A. Baracus: They broke my mother's arm. Nobody put they're hand on my mother and lives to tell about it. We're going to Chicago right now, Hannibal!
Hannibal: B.A., now take it easy. We're behind you on this thing 100 percent.
Face: B.A., whatever you say. Remember, you're our leader.
B.A. Baracus: Look man, I know I exaggerate sometime, but you do it all the time!
Face: Well but ac-, actually, I always felt you had leadership potential.
B.A. Baracus: Hey man, we gotta find the fasted way possible to get to my mother.
Murdock: That's gonna mean flying, big guy.
B.A. Baracus: That's right, flying!

Face: You and your husband live in the building?
Karen: [pause] I'm single. I have a two bedroom on the third floor.
Face: Ah. I'd love to see it sometime.

Faceman: [pretending B.A. leads the A-Team] Boy, B.A., you got us on the jazz now!
Hannibal: Oh, he loves it when a plan comes together!

"The A-Team: Waste 'Em! (#3.21)" (1985)

"B.A." Baracus: [looking through binoculars] Damn! He sure got a lot of security for someone who's just collecting garbage.
H.M. "Howling Mad" Murdock: You know, Colonel, It's not gonna be easy going in there to find out what that guy is all about.
"Faceman" Peck: But, eh, you got a plan, right?
"Hannibal" Smith: Well, Lieutenant, if you can't get in, you're gonna have to get them out.
H.M. "Howling Mad" Murdock: You know, I have to tell ya, I find your, your, your small quotes to be utterly inspirational. As a matter of fact, it's the most interesting part of my day.

"Faceman" Peck: [smelling a barrel filled with toxic waste] Whatever this stuff is, it’ll take the shine right off a diamond.
"Howling Mad" Murdock: You think it will take the leather off a glove?
"Faceman" Peck: That we'll find out.

"Faceman" Peck: Hannibal, you're not serious. You're going in there unarmed, you'll be leaving in a casket.
"Hannibal" Smith: Well, I said I'd be unarmed. I didn't say anything about you'd being unarmed.

"The A-Team: Members Only (#4.15)" (1986)

Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: I'm not sure about this, Face.
Lt. Templeton Peck: Ashley. I'm Ashley Hemmings.
Capt. H.M. Murdock: [posh accent] Funny. You're a dead ringer for Templeton Peck.
Lt. Templeton Peck: What are you doing at my club?
Capt. H.M. Murdock: I'm a guest of Dr. Richter's
Lt. Templeton Peck: Your psychiatrist takes you to his country club?
Capt. H.M. Murdock: Every Friday.

Lt. Templeton Peck: Unbelievable. Of all the country clubs in Los Angeles, General Fulbright has to be a member of my club!
Capt. H.M. Murdock: Face, you're gonna have to get plastic surgery.

Lt. Templeton Peck: Well, this it typical: one minute you're a member of an exclusive club, the next minute you're a waiter. A fake waiter.
Adrian Prescott: Oh, I'm sorry about you losing your membership.
Capt. H.M. Murdock: Why don't you become one of Dr. Richter's patients? Then maybe he can bring you here, as a guest.
Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: Yeah, look at the bright side, Face. Chuck McCraw and Bob McKeever lost their memberships too.
Sgt. B.A. Baracus: Yeah, they'll probably start their own club in prison.

"The A-Team: Harder Than It Looks (#2.20)" (1984)

Faceman: Oh, great, an entire terrorist army on our tail and we're out of gas.
Murdock: Well, look at it this way, Face, we hit rock bottom now and the only way we can go is up.
Jennifer Teasdale: [pointing a gun at Hannibal] You're gonna let me go now, or I'm gonna blow you all away.
Faceman: This is up?

Strickland: Your all dead men!
Templeton Peck: Really? Gee, I didn't think I'd feel this good after I was dead. I wanna thank you all for coming to the funeral.

Jennifer Teasdale: You guys are incredible! I can't believe you actually did it!
Templeton Peck: Neither can I. We lost our wheels, B.A. did 15 rounds with Godzilla, Hannibal did a 20 story high dive, we had our boat blown out from under us, and we still managed to save the girl, her boyfriend and retrieve the movey.
Marcus: Now all you have to do is stop them from blowing up the dam.
"Hannibal" Smith: Dam?
"Howling Mad" Murdock: I wanna cry.

"The A-Team: Judgement Day: Part 2 (#4.2)" (1985)

Hannibal Smith: Now Face, if we had endless amounts of money at our disposal and we could do whatever we want, whenever we wanted, we wouldn't really need you, now would we?
Faceman: Hm. That's why I stick around, Hannibal. You have such a wonderful way of making one feel so much a part of the team.

Doctor Forbes: [handing Face a ship's doctor's uniform] It's about, eh, as close to doctors as we get aboard this thing
Faceman: Ah.
Doctor Forbes: We just dispense devilments for the sunburn and try to ensure the people that there has never been a recorded case of death by seasickness.

Lori: Are you absolutely sure that it's Scarlatti?
Faceman: You know some faces make an indelible impression. Especially if you first see them for the first time over the barrel of a machine gun.

"The A-Team: When You Comin' Back, Range Rider?: Part 2 (#2.6)" (1983)

"Hannibal" Smith: You know, this worked great in a movie I once did.
Face: 'The Giant Gila Monster vs. Billy the Kid', right?
"Hannibal" Smith: You remember that one?
Face: Who could forget it?

"Hannibal" Smith: [to Bus Carter] We're here to file a grievance against the Carter Railway Line for the Wild Horses of America, Western Devision.
Face: Not to be confused with the Horse's Butts of America, of which we hear you are a member of long standing.

Face: [Face and B.A. are tied up together] Boy, you must be getting real weak if you can't break these puny little ropes
Face: [B.A. finally breaks out of the ropes and immediately grabs a hold of Face] Ah, ah, I was just kiddin'

"The A-Team: The Bend in the River: Part 1 (#3.2)" (1984)

"Faceman" Peck: [holding a Spanish-English dictionary] Oh, well now, this is encouraging...
"Hannibal" Smith: Yeah?
"Faceman" Peck: Yeah. 'El Cajon'. Spanish translation: 'The Coffin'.
"Faceman" Peck: What kind of a scunge heel would call himself 'The Coffin'?
"Faceman" Peck: Well, probably the same kind that would call himself 'Hannibal'

"Hannibal" Smith: [Murdock is in a coffin, talking to himself] What is this all about?
"Faceman" Peck: Oh, this is gonna be fun. He's making a movie, a classic little film called 'Closed for Remodeling'.
"Hannibal" Smith: [Hannibal contemplates this as Murdock jabbers on inside the coffin] Well, that's already opened. I saw it on a theater marquee last week.
"Faceman" Peck: Don't you do that to me, Hannibal, one lunatic in this outfit is enough!

"Hannibal" Smith: And you're engaged to this Brian Lefcourt?
Tawnia: Pre-engaged. We gave each other these St. Christophers. and when he got back from trying to find the lost treasure of Del Rio, we were going to be married.
"Faceman" Peck: When did all this happen?
Tawnia: Last month. When you guys were in South Carolina helping that old sheriff.

"The A-Team: The Sound of Thunder (#4.23)" (1986)

General 'Bull' Fullbright: Colonel Morrison.
B.A. Baracus: Morrison, what about him?
General 'Bull' Fullbright: He's the officer you claim send you on the mission to rob the bank of Hanoi. The mission that you got locked up on. He's the only one that could prove your innocence.
Faceman: You mean 'could have'. He's been dead since '72.
General 'Bull' Fullbright: He can, he's still alive.

B.A. Baracus: Why didn't you try to get your son back through the government?
General 'Bull' Fullbright: It doesn't work that way. In this country, I'm a war criminal. That's why I have to get him out of here, cause he's my son.
Faceman: Well, someone must have known what you're up to. They send, eh, 'Madame Kung Fu' to take you on your last rickshaw ride.

Hannibal Smith: Now look, Tia, I know you don't trust Fulbright, you don't even know what he's about, but that could come with time, if you take some time with him.
Tia: All I take is his life!
Faceman: And they say daughters want everything.

"The A-Team: The A-Team Is Coming, the A-Team Is Coming (#4.14)" (1986)

Hannibal Smith: Sorry you had to go through all this, Katrina.
Katrina Karpov: It was wonderful!
Face: Somehow I thought candlelight diner might be more to your liking.
Katrina Karpov: It was like James Bond, no?
Murdock: You know Katrina, I have to agree with you. From a standpoint of entertainment on the Murdock scale of one to ten, I'd have to give it a nine.
B.A. Baracus: A nine? Let me see you drive like that!
Murdock: But I never give a ten, never, never, never, never, never. I mean there's no such thing as perfection in the arts, B.A.
B.A. Baracus: [raising his fist] This is a ten on B.A. scale. Ten being total pain!

Katrina Karpov: I have heard so much about American men. I'm dying to try one on.
Face: Eh, I think you mean try one out?
Katrina Karpov: Whatever. How you say? Take off all your clothing?
Face: Yeah, actually, you got that just right. You know, eh, you're English is not bad.
Katrina Karpov: You're shoulders are not that bad. I think I take a bath and slip into nothing more comfortable.

Face: It's ironic, huh, guys? Every time we try to serve our country, we end up behind bars.

"The A-Team: Steel (#2.11)" (1983)

Face: [Hannibal has ordered Face to bring Murdock home] I picked him up! I don't want him in my 'vette. What if he woofs out on me again, I'll get hair on my my seat, drool on my...
Murdock: Oh don't be absurd, you're talking to me as if I was a dog!

Face: I was looking for H. M. Murdock's room, well I guess I found it.
Nurse Beth Billings: Well, ehm, he, he started off earlier this morning but we're used to strange behaviour with Mr. Murdock, but he's gotten much worse. I mean if I didn't know better, I'd actually believe he has been bitten and has contracted rabies.
Face: Nurse, believe it.
Nurse Beth Billings: Oh, but that's, that's not possible, you see, Mr. Murdock's dog is a figment of his imagination.
Nurse Beth Billings: [momentarily distracted as Murdock scratches the door] Oh, I'm Sorry doctor, I don't know you, and apparently you're not familiar with this case...
Face: Oh, that's because, eh, I'm not a doctor.
[hands over a business card]
Nurse Beth Billings: The United States Department of Animal Health and Welfare?

Nurse Beth Billings: Wait! Mr. Murdock is a patient here, I can't just release him to someone from the pound!
Face: We happen to be a division of the federal government, I am working in conjunction with the department of health services, which is a jurisdiction over any and all state intuitions, so please, please be careful before coughing up the word pound like that.

"The A-Team: Showdown! (#3.9)" (1984)

[after trashing the fake A-Team gang]
Face: I think it's time the truth came out, don't you?
Murdock: Yeah, and make sure my name is spelled "Murdock" - that's "Murdock"!
B.A. Baracus: Hey, shut up, fool!
Murdock: Yeah, that's easy for you to say, you're mentioned in the paper!
Hannibal: Now look, Murdock, you're our secret weapon...
Murdock: I don't want to be a secret weapon - I want to be an exposed weapon!

[a gang of hooligans is harassing a circus under the name of the A-Team. The real A-Team reunites, understandably not too pleased with this development]
Face: [waving around a newspaper article] Did you read this, Hannibal? Do you seriously believe this?
Hannibal: I read it - I believe it!
B.A. Baracus: This is bad, Hannibal - real bad! Some guys are coming around and busting heads saying they're the A-Team! There's only *one* A-Team! Us!

Murdock: [reading a newspaper article] "The A-Team. Three Vietnam soldiers on the run from the military." Three soldiers - three! I'm just as much a part of the A-Team as you are, and I'm not mentioned...
Face: Murdock, you're a pilot, you're technically not one of the A-Team - that's why I have to come down here and scam out of your cell every time! But take it from me, you're just as much a part of the A-Team as any of us...

"The A-Team: Fire (#3.4)" (1984)

"Howling Mad" Murdock: [Irish accent] I don't suppose, my good man, that you ever heard of instantanious combustion? That's not to be confused with internal combustion. But, he's broken my rule number nine!
"Faceman" Peck: [acting fey] Number nine? Never leave newspapers lying about.
Roy Kelsey: Oh, eh, we were meaning to throw those out, actually.
"Howling Mad" Murdock: Meaning to? Meaning to? You know that there are a thousand tragic cases of 'meaning to' in the naked city?
"Faceman" Peck: Why don't you just step outside untill we've conducted our little inspection, huh?
[urges Kelsey out the door]
"Howling Mad" Murdock: [shouting] Newspapers! Newspapers! I hate newspapers!

"Faceman" Peck: Hm, Vince Rogan. The guy makes a shark look like a box of brownies at a girlscouts jamborie.

"The A-Team: The Grey Team (#5.12)" (1986)

Face: Romeo in there just wrecked everything, now she's going to get the KGB death squad.
Hannibal: Yeah, great isn't it?

Hannibal: What are we gonna do when this thing's over? I mean what are we really qualified to do?
Face: Go after thugs in the park?
Hannibal: And outlawed motorcycle gangs, organized crime figures, why, there's a world of slimeballs out there.
Murdock: I knew it. I just knew you had a plan.
Hannibal: Comforting, isn't it?
B.A. Baracus: I'll get the van!

"The A-Team: Without Reservations (#5.13)" (1987)

Gen. Hunt Stockwell: Now, the sooner you pull off these missions, the sooner you get your pardon. It's called the Stockwell incentive plan.
Faceman: Now, I can tell you what you can do with your plan, Stockwell.

"Hannibal" Smith: How's the pain?
Faceman: Well, only hurts when I breathe.
"B.A." Baracus: You was out cold for a day and a half in the hospital.
Frankie Santana: They say you hit on two nurses while you were sedated.
Faceman: Really? How did I do?
"Hannibal" Smith: You invoked great sympathy. The left their telephone numbers.

"The A-Team: The Say U.N.C.L.E. Affair (#5.6)" (1986)

Carla: [breaking in on Channel 8 on a hotel TV set] Good morning gentlemen, I'm in the jet flying at 30 thousand feet. The room is equipped with a two way video.
Face: How about the bedroom?

Face: Frankie, why on Earth would your cousin put such a fine sound system into his motor home?
Frankie: Because the clientele demands it. He rents this baby out on all the big tours, mayor names. Glen Fry, Tom Petty, Huey Lewis. Next time you use that shower, remember, Madonna was in there, naked.

"The A-Team: Family Reunion (#5.8)" (1986)

Face: Look to this day, For yesterday is but dream and tomorrow is but a vision. But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness and every tomorrow a vision of hope.

A.J. Bancroft: Any father would be proud of you.
Faceman: Well, I'm also a wanted criminal. Who could be proud of a son like that?
A.J. Bancroft: Or a father like that?

"The A-Team: When You Comin' Back, Range Rider?: Part 1 (#2.5)" (1983)

[Face has launched a film production company]
Hannibal: "Miracle Films"?
Face: "If it's a good film, it's a Miracle." Catchy, huh?

Capt. H.M. "Howling Mad" Murdock: Once again, the mysterious Range Rider sets out on another thrilling adventure with his trusted steed Thunder who ...
[B.A. pulls off Murdock's paper mask]
Capt. H.M. "Howling Mad" Murdock: Who will remain behind just this time.
Face: Well guys, shall we saddle up?
[suddenly, machine gun fire erupts from outside]

"The A-Team: The Little Town with an Accent (#4.22)" (1986)

Murdock: I just don't like the idea of B.A. taking apart my brand new truck.
Face: Ah, I'm sure he's just using it to train Kelvin.
Murdock: I know, I know, but, eh, I worked so hard to win it on the Wheel of Fortune.
Face: We had to work so hard, okay? Besides, you're the one who took the trip to Hawaii, without me!
Murdock: I know.

Face: [on the phone] Guess who McMahon ran to?
Hannibal: Well, am I gonna like this?
Face: I think you're gonna love it: Sonny Marlini.
Hannibal: Sonny 'The Enforcer' Marlini from Detroit?
Face: Aha. The very same. looking eh, very tanned, healthy and itching to kill.

"The A-Team: Incident at Crystal Lake (#3.25)" (1985)

Face: I think we should make some swift vacation plans.
Hannibal: Before they send another girl after us with long legs, huh?
Face: Ah, no, that could happen to anyone.
Hannibal: Yes, Face, but it always happens to you.

B.A.: Flying is out man, anywhere we wanna go, we can stay on the ground.
Faceman: Well, we could go to a movie, beyond that, I, eh...

"The A-Team: Uncle Buckle-Up (#4.12)" (1985)

Face: Ruff the Bear?
Hannibal: This is gonna be it, Face, this is gonna be the part that takes off.
Face: But Hannibal, a bear? And on TV. TV is not for you, you're a powerhouse! You need 28 feet of canvas to explode out of. You'll get lost on the little screen.
Hannibal: Yeah, now, I've been thinking about that, Face. But you know, television is an intmiate medium, and... I'm an intimate kind of a guy.
Face: Like Rambo is an intimate kind of guy.

Hannibal: Well, this is it guys, an actor can tell when his career is coming to an end. You can only play the Aquamaniac a certain number of times before you've explored every aspect of his character. That was my change at television immortality.
Face: But Hannibal, it was just a bear. They weren't looking for the definitive Hamlet, they just wanted a guy who wouldn't sweat too much in a fur coat.

"The A-Team: The Island (#3.8)" (1984)

"Faceman" Peck: [the A-Team has been contacted through an ad in the paper] All right, lets assume for the moment that this is legit.
"Hannibal" Smith: Okay.
"Faceman" Peck: All right. Chances are Decker reads the same newspaper, right?
"Hannibal" Smith: Okay.
"Faceman" Peck: Right! So, we show up, bingo! He grabs us.
"Hannibal" Smith: Now Face, did I ever make it easy for Decker?

"Faceman" Peck: [swaggering drunkenly on the beach] Flipper!

"The A-Team: Judgement Day: Part 1 (#4.1)" (1985)

"Hannibal" Smith: Now lets concentrate on rescuing the girl.
Faceman: Hannibal has a plan.
"B.A." Baracus: We're going through the front door again, right?
"Hannibal" Smith: I think he's getting to know me!

"Howling Mad" Murdock: [B.A. has just driven right through an airplane] How could you do that to a poor, defenseless DC3? She didn't stand a chance!
Faceman: I don't believe this.
"Howling Mad" Murdock: Now we're stuck in this country without any means of escape!

"The A-Team: Alive at Five (#5.7)" (1986)

Faceman: We've done everything that Stockwell has asked and he's never so much as even said thank you. We've even saved the guys life. As long as we keep succeding in these missions, he's gonna keep us around for more and a soon as we start fail, well, we're dead.
B.A. Baracus: That's a good point.
Faceman: I'm telling you, Stockwell has taken over our lives. He's even started taking over my dreams.
Frankie: Can he do that?

Faceman: You know, I should write a book.
Murdock: No, no, just a pamphlet.

"The A-Team: The Theory of Revolution (#5.5)" (1986)

Face: Oh no...
CIA Agent: What's the matter, what's going on?
Face: A major part of our escape plan has just gone into the toilet.

Face: Eh, Colonel, what do you suppose Stockwell is gonna say about us knocking this country sideways?
Hannibal: I don't know, but I'm gonna enjoy it.

"The A-Team: The Bend in the River: Part 2 (#3.3)" (1984)

Brian Lefcourt: What would Ritterman be doing building a nuclear reactor in the middle of the Amazon jungle?
Face: [Ritterman and his solder give each other a Sieg Heil salute] Did you see that? Did you see what he did?
B.A. Baracus: Nazi, Hannibal! They're Nazi's!
Doyle: They are the New Reich. Strong, able, undefeatable. What do intend to do now, Smith? Take them all on? Just the four of you? Haha. Two women and a lame? Heh!

Face: You don't really trust this pile of pig slop, do ya, Hannibal?
Hannibal: If we want any chance of destroying that Nazi generator, we don't have much choice. And, if you talk that way about him, you may not live to date his daughter.

"The A-Team: Cup A' Joe (#3.14)" (1985)

Hannibal: How's it look, B.A.?
B.A.: The fools under the truck. I hope he knows what he's doing!
Face: You might be surprised at what ole' Murdock knows. I get the feeling more and more that his brain works on many dfferent levels. Like layers, peeling away one after the other, exposing new and wonderful aspects of H.M. Murdock.
Hannibal: That's very poetic, Face.
Face: I thought so.
B.A.: Poetic? You mean pathetic! You peel at Murdock's brain, you get nothing but jello!

Face: [posing as Colonel Mylowe] I hate to break security...
Murdock: [speaking like Darth Vader] I believe, Colonel, in this instance that security is not an essential factor.

"The A-Team: Hot Styles (#3.12)" (1984)

Templeton "Faceman" Peck: Come on, Hannibal, you know we didn't do anything. We took a mission. We knocked out an enemy position, which just happened to be a bank. Our commanding officer gets killed and, eh, so we end up getting sacrifised, to 'preserve international relations'.

Templeton "Faceman" Peck: Look, Rina, I know you're in trouble and I wanna help, alright, so just, just tell me!
Rina Turian: Don't you think there's a few things you should tell me? Like who you really are?
Templeton "Faceman" Peck: Well, there's eh... there's a part of my life I didn't want you to know about.
Rina Turian: Looks like we've got more in common than we thought.

"The A-Team: Recipe for Heavy Bread (#2.2)" (1983)

Face: Hannibal, I don't like it when you get that look.

Faceman: Ah, a riot, isn't it? I supply the hideout and you supply the raspberries.

"The A-Team: Wheel of Fortune (#4.13)" (1986)

Nurse Pearlson: May I help you?
Face: Yes, I, I, think you can...
[glancing at her nametag]
Face: Miss eh, Pearlson. I'm looking for a Mr. Murdock.
Nurse Pearlson: Why aren't you looking for me?

"The A-Team: A Nice Place to Visit (#1.13)" (1983)

Deke Watkins: Well, you boys got an awful lot of stupid in you.
"Hannibal" Smith: I got a thing about living with cockroaches. My friends and I are gonna do some exterminating.
Deke Watkins: Oh, you should've left town when you had the chance.
Face: That was our next line.

"The A-Team: The Maltese Cow (#2.13)" (1983)

Templeton Peck: In case you haven't noticed, Hannibal, we have more eyes on us than a truck load of Idaho spuds.

"The A-Team: Labor Pains (#2.8)" (1983)

Templeton "Faceman" Peck: By the way, I didn't catch the name.
Old timer with truck: Didn't throw it.

"The A-Team: The Rabbit Who Ate Las Vegas (#1.6)" (1983)

Face: So, er, tell me professor, all the chicks in Arizona State look like Sue-Beth and Darlene?
Murdock: [Using a posh accent] Thinking about going back to college and getting that education you never had?

"The A-Team: The Duke of Whispering Pines (#4.18)" (1986)

Templeton "Faceman" Peck: Well, boy, this is typical, huh? We do all the digging, Hannibal has all the fun, sitting out front playing Yosemite Sam.

"The A-Team: The Big Squeeze (#3.15)" (1985)

Face: I don't know why I hang out with you guys, I'm beginning to loose my grip on reality.
Murdock: It's about time!

"The A-Team: Body Slam (#4.7)" (1985)

"B.A." Baracus: Good to see you, man, you're looking great!
Hulk Hogan: Mean, clean, human destruction machine!
"B.A." Baracus: Yeah!
Face: [to Hannibal] Regular mutual appreciation society.

"The A-Team: The Spy Who Mugged Me (#5.11)" (1986)

Face: Passing Murdock off as a secret agent, Hannibal, he's not even convincing as a sewage worker.

"The A-Team: It's a Desert Out There (#2.18)" (1984)

Templeton "Faceman" Peck: I think I ought to give Tawnia a ring.
Templeton "Faceman" Peck: [Murdock gasps and pulls his ringvinger] No, no, Murdock, on the telephone, I wanna check in on the old jounalistic databank.

"The A-Team: Champ! (#3.16)" (1985)

Faceman: [posing as a doctor] Now, if you gentlemen will excuse me, I have my rounds to make. Get it? Rounds to make?

"The A-Team: The White Ballot (#2.12)" (1983)

Templeton Peck: Why would a guy wear a wig like that? Looks like a dead plant.

"The A-Team: Pure-Dee Poison (#2.17)" (1984)

"Hannibal" Smith: Phase one of our operation is a succes
Templeton "Faceman" Peck: Well, phase one is always the easiest. The bad guys never know it when we're doing phase one.
"Hannibal" Smith: Heh, heh.
Templeton "Faceman" Peck: Phase two, that's when the soup sticks to the spoon!

"The A-Team: The Road to Hope (#4.5)" (1985)

Hannibal: She should be selling bridges in Brooklyn.
Faceman: Oh, come on, Hannibal, please! The Brooklyn Bridge goes for five, six hundred thousand dollars, minimum. Believe me, I know. I've sold it twice already.

"The A-Team: The Crystal Skull (#5.10)" (1986)

Australian Mercenary: You didn't say anything about no monks!
Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: Well, monks do go with a monastary, now don't they?
Australian Mercenary: I understand you have some diamonds?
Face: [posing as a monk] Men of God have no need for such... barbels.

"The A-Team: Mission of Peace (#4.20)" (1986)

Rudy: That's my wallet!
Face: Thats right!
[Faceman pulls out a credit card]
Face: ...Charles Winston. Wait a minute, Charles Winston? The Charles Winston? Your Charlie the Clip?
Rudy: You picked my pocket!
Face: I can't believe it, I picked the pocket of Charlie the Clip! Do you know who this is? I studied every scam you've ever done. This is the guy who sold the Brooklyn Bridge... to Brooklyn!
Rudy: A few minor accomplishments.

"The A-Team: The Trouble with Harry (#4.21)" (1986)

H.M. Murdock: It's true, you know, there is something about brand new clothes that makes you just wanna stand up and shine!
[stands up in Faceman' Corvette]
Templeton Peck: Well eh, stand up and shine on somebody else's seats, hm?

"The A-Team: Bad Time on the Border (#2.4)" (1983)

Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: All right, now who's plan was this?
"Faceman" Peck: Not mine!
"B.A." Baracus: Not mine.
Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: Then who's?
"Faceman" Peck: Murdock!
"B.A." Baracus: It was Murdock.
Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: No it wasn't!

"The A-Team: Trial by Fire (#5.2)" (1986)

Benny Conway: [shouting] Are you out of your minds?
Lt. Templeton "Faceman" Peck: Well, it wouldn't be the first time we were accused of it.
Benny Conway: Nobody tries to plead guilty in a capitol case!
Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: A man can only live with his guilt for so long.
Sgt. Bosco "B.A." Baracus: Yeah. We hate guilt.
Benny Conway: But we are winning! Their case is shot full of holes and ones Colonel Quyet testifies, it will be shot down entirely.
Lt. Templeton "Faceman" Peck: Eh, would you mind not using words like 'full of holes', 'shot down', I mean it conjures up such a negative image.

"The A-Team: Beverly Hills Assault (#3.23)" (1985)

"Faceman" Peck: At last! A case that doesn't require mosquito netting.
"Hannibal" Smith: Oh, I don't know, Face, It's still a jungle out there on Rodeo Drive...

"The A-Team: Road Games (#3.18)" (1985)

Meeks: Hey Dorsette, I'm going with ya!
Templeton "Faceman" Peck: [posing as Dorsette] Hey, Meeks, I know how to buy clothes by myself, huh!
Meeks: [noticing Faceman's Corvette] Hey, where did a record changer like you get a car like this?
Templeton "Faceman" Peck: Well, what you drive is what you project, right? Course, a guy like you is probably just happy to have air in his tires.
Meeks: Yeah. Just drive!

"The A-Team: Waiting for Insane Wayne (#4.17)" (1986)

Kincaid: Who's Tully?
Face: Me, I'm Tully.
Kincaid: That means you're, eh, Three Fingered Harry?
Hannibal: [Hannibal tucks his hands in his arms] Harry couldn't make it. Got a job runnin' guns from South America.
Kincaid: Well, just who the hell are you?
Kincaid: Peco Bob. I fill in for Harry. My specialities are: smokin' cigars, eatin' snakes alive, and runnin' off drifters.

"The A-Team: Knights of the Road (#3.20)" (1985)

[Face has just been rejected by a girl and he turns to see Murdoch staring at him]
Face: What are you looking at?
Murdock: You. I've been watching you, and I'm worried.
Face: How so?
Murdock: Well, it's a bit disturbing to see the team's Love Doctor hit the ground and cry "Medic!"

"The A-Team: Trouble Brewing (#3.24)" (1985)

Faceman: Hannibal, I don't like to complain, but why is it that I'm always the one who has to stick his head in the lion's mouth?
Hannibal: It's your personality.

"The A-Team: The Doctor Is Out (#4.11)" (1985)

Face: This girl is trying to find her father. Now your quizzing her like's she's some chameleon con-man. Why look at that face. Don't you believe her? I believe her. If she says she's Richter's daughter, she's Richter's daughter.
Sarah Teesdale: I'm a journalist.
Face: She's a journalist.
Sarah Teesdale: I work for Trans World Press.
Face: Well, anyone can make a mistake...

"The A-Team: There Goes the Neighborhood (#4.10)" (1985)

Stevie Faith: Woody, this is a really evil thing you're doing. There's a karma shift here that could spell your doom.
Faceman: Yeah, she's got a point!

"The A-Team: Double Heat (#3.6)" (1984)

Priscilla: Can I see your membership card?
Face: [glancing at her name tag] Priscilla. I like that, that's nice. Randall St. James, but my friends call me Randy.

"The A-Team: Deadly Maneuvers (#2.21)" (1984)

Major Douglas Kyle: Where's Smith, Peck?
Templeton "Faceman" Peck: You know, that's the beauty of it. I haven't the slightest idea. I never do, really. He's a real mystery, eh, a walking riddle. Yeah, he might start dropping bombs on you guys. Then on the other hand he might just show up as a nun. I can't tell. And eh, I know, oh, just about as well as anybody else. Yeah, he's really quite... mystical.