IMDb Polls

Poll: Best of C.D. Bales's Joking Insults Better Than "Big Nose"?

In Roxanne (1987), a modern update of Cyrano de Bergerac (1950), a drunk calls C. D. Bales (Steve Martin) "big nose" and C.D. responds by coming up with 25 joking insults that are more clever. Which is your favorite?

Discuss the list here

Make Your Choice

  1. Vote!
     

    Obvious Child (2014)

    Obvious: 'Scuse me, is that your nose or did a bus park on your face?
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    The Weather Man (2005)

    Meteorological: Everybody take cover, she's going to blow!
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    Fashion (2008)

    Fashionable: You know, you could de-emphasize your nose if you wore something larger, like... Wyoming.
  4. Vote!
     

    Personal Best (1982)

    Personal: Well, here we are, just the three of us.
  5. Vote!
     

    Tillie's Punctured Romance (1914)

    Punctual: All right, Delbman, your nose was on time but YOU were fifteen minutes late!
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    Envy (2004)

    Envious: Ooooh, I wish I were you! Gosh, to be able to smell your own ear!
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    Naughty Marietta (1935)

    Naughty: Uh, pardon me, sir, some of the ladies have asked if you wouldn't mind putting that thing away.
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    The Philosopher Kings (2009)

    Philosophical: You know, it's not the size of a nose that's important, it's what's IN IT that matters.
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    The Good Humor Man (2005)

    Humorous: Laugh and the world laughs with you. Sneeze, and it's goodbye, Seattle!
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    Commercial Kings (2011)

    Commercial: Hi, I'm Earl Scheib, and I can paint that nose for $39.95!
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    A Polite Bribe (2013)

    Polite: Uh, would you mind not bobbing your head? The, uh, orchestra keeps changing tempo.
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    The Broadway Melody (1929)

    Melodic: He's got... The whole world in his nose!
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    Sympathy for the Devil (1968)

    Sympathetic: Aw, what happened? Did your parents lose a bet with God?
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    Compliments of the Season (1930)

    Complimentary: You must love the little birdies to give them this to perch on.
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    Alan Alda in Scientific American Frontiers (1990)

    Scientific: Say, does that thing there influence the tides?
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    Jude the Obscure (1971)

    Obscure: Whoa! I'd hate to see the grindstone.
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    Inquiring Nuns (1968)

    Inquiring: When you stop to smell the flowers, are they afraid?
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    The French Connection (1971)

    French: Saihr, ze pigs have refused to find any more truffles until you leave!
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    An Affair of Love (1999)

    Pornographic: Finally, a man who can satisfy two women at once!
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    Religious Racketeers (1938)

    Religious: The Lord giveth... and He just kept on giving, didn't He?
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    The Disgustings (2014)

    Disgusting: Say, who mows your nose hair?
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    Paranoid (2000)

    Paranoid: Keep that guy away from my cocaine!
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    Coffee Town (2013)

    Aromatic: It must wonderful to wake up in the morning and smell the coffee... in Brazil.
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    Mutual Appreciation (2005)

    Appreciative: Oooh, how original! Most people just have their teeth capped.
  25. Vote!
     

    Dirty Dancing (1987)

    Dirty: Your name wouldn't be Dick, would it?