16 titles.

1. The Sopranos (1999 TV Series)
Episode: A Hit Is a Hit (1999)
That's guy a gangster? I'm a gangster! I'm an O.G. Original Gangster not him. Fuckin' lawn jockey. He's got the fly Hamptons house, Alec Baldwin comes over, Whitney Houston. What do I got? I sit in a fucking pork store for Christ's sake!
2. The Simpsons (1989 TV Series)
Episode: When You Dish Upon a Star (1998)
I'm *Alec* Baldwin!
Billy Baldwin!
3. Castle (2009 TV Series)
Episode: Nanny McDead (2009)
Yup. They make Alec Baldwin's messages sound like rainbows and unicorns.
4. Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (2014 TV Series)
Episode: Stupid Watergate (2017)
...and... and James Garfield was shot; then, to find the bullet - and this is true - Alexander Graham Bell devised a kind of metal detector which didn't work, so doctors tried to fish around in his guts for the bullet with unwashed fingers, which just made his infection worse, so he died in horrible pain. But yeah, Alec Baldwin sometimes does a mean impression of you on TV, so yeah, it's basically the same, isn't it?
5. The Nostalgia Critic (2007 TV Series)
Episode: Thomas and the Magic Railroad (2012)
Well, maybe not like this. Yes, if Peter Fonda is too miserable in this movie, then Alec Baldwin is far too happy. He plays Mr. Conductor. Think Bob the Builder's lobotomized grandpa and you'll have a pretty good idea of what he's like.
So we're introduced to a place called Shining Time, where the humans are just as lifeless as the trains. They even have their own obnoxiously fat, profanity-laced Tinker Bell played by Alec Baldwin, who's going to sing to us about the town!
Okay, I have no idea what that scene was about. I am now totally convinced that Alec Baldwin went nuts and they just shot a movie around it. Hell, maybe it was supposed to be about a grandfather, his granddaughter and a train, but Baldwin just started shouting "gold dust" and "sparkle, sparkle, sparkle!" and they had to make a kids movie out of it. This is sadly starting to make sense.
Am I Alec Baldwin's delusion? IS THIS ALL ALEC BALDWIN'S DELUSION?
I know. You're thinking to yourself, "How could any successful actor bring himself to star in a movie that requires him to say the line 'Sparkle, sparkle, sparkle?'" Well, I think you underestimate the power of those words. I think Baldwin saw the possibilities of that line, the magic it possesses, and the ability to touch an entire generation. Don't act like these words haven't had a HUGE impact on your life!
6. The Nostalgia Critic (2007 TV Series)
Episode: The Cat in the Hat (2013)
Alec Baldwin plays the evil neighbor who wants to marry the mother and send her son, Conrad, off to military school. Why? I don't know. Something has to account for this uncomfortably forced conflict here, though.
Even with its dumbass ending of mom happily returning, Baldwin being dumped, and the party going great!
7. The Nostalgia Critic (2007 TV Series)
Episode: Pearl Harbor (2013)
Our heroes are played by Ben Affleck, pre-director days, so you can hate him all you want, and Josh Hartnett, who, if his eyes were any more squinty, would have to see through his eyelids. They're under the command of Colonel Doolittle, played by Alec Baldwin, pre-I-had-too-much-pie but not post-I-need-to-seriously-stop-eating-the-goddamn-pie. It's ironic because he plays a person based on a real-life colonel and yet he's probably the most cliched character in the entire movie.
8. The Nostalgia Critic (2007 TV Series)
Episode: Cats & Dogs (2016)
Ideal casting having Alec Baldwin play a bitch.
9. The 69th Primetime Emmy Awards (2017 TV Special)
Yeah. No, you may not like it. He's the biggest star. You know, and Alec Baldwin, obviously.
You know. You guys are neck and neck. And Alec, you're up against a lot of neck.
10. Siskel & Ebert & the Movies (1986 TV Series)
Episode: The Nutty Professor II: The Klumps/Wonderland/Thomas and the Magic Railroad/Space Cowboys/The Girl on the Bridge (2000)
Well, y'know, Peter Fonda and Alec Baldwin, I'm watching these guys and thinking, "What, James Woods wasn't available?"
I mean, the casting on this is unbelievable! And yeah, Peter Fonda seems to be in some other movie, and Alec Baldwin, kinda, "I'm gonna do a kid's movie now!" And you mentioned about the trains and how they don't talk. Trains are already stuck on tracks.
Maybe he's also depressed because "Thomas and the Magic Railroad" seems so unsure of itself. Both Fonda and Baldwin seem stranded here in a world that never becomes charming or magical or certainly, even convincing.
11. The Oscars (2015 TV Special)
Thank you so much. I read an article that said that winning an Oscar could lead to living five years longer. If that's true, I'd really like to thank the Academy because my husband is younger than me. There's no such thing as best actress, as is evidenced by the performances of my fellow nominees. I've been honored to be among you every step of the way. I am grateful for this and grateful for the opportunity to stand up here and thank people that I love. My manager Evelyn O'Neill, Kevin Huvane, Steven Huvane, Josh Lieberman. My family: my grandparents, my brother Peter, my sister Valerie, my mother and father who told me that I could be whatever I wanted to be if I got an education. Although I didn't think they meant being an actress. And I thank my dad for showing me the world. I want to thank everybody who made this movie: Sony Classics, Killer Films, James Brown, Lex Lutzus, Lisa Genova, Kristen Stewart, Alec Baldwin. I'm so happy, I'm thrilled, actually, that we were able to hopefully shine a light on Alzheimer's disease. So many people with this disease feel isolated and marginalized, and one of the wonderful things about movies is it makes us feel seen and not alone. And people with Alzheimer's deserve to be seen, so that we can find a cure. And finally, to our filmmakers, Wash Westmoreland and Richard Glatzer, who had hoped to be here tonight but they can't because of Richard's health. When Richard was diagnosed with ALS, Wash asked him what he wanted to do. Did he want to travel? Did he want to see the world? And he said that he wanted to make movies, and that's what he did. And finally, for my husband Bart and our children, Cal and Liv, thank you for my life, thank you for giving me a home. Thank you very much for this.
12. Action (1999 TV Series)
Episode: One Easy Piece (2000)
Okay, let's take a look at my rolodex, okay? I'll be the movie, you be the TV rolodex. In my movie rolodex I have, eh, Sean Connery. Your TV rolodex? Shawn Wayans. Eh? Marlon Brando, Marlon Wayans. Alec Baldwin, Alec... eh... Wayans. There's probably one floating around, I don't know.
13. The 82nd Annual Academy Awards (2010 TV Special)
And this is Alec Baldwin.
Alec, what's that movie about?
Oh, Alec, you should have said "spoiler alert!"
14. The 79th Annual Academy Awards (2007 TV Special)
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Rick! Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Please, please. Thank you. Thank you. Could you double-check the envelope? Thank you. I mean, I'm overwhelmed with this honor with the Academy and also the honor of being presented by my old, old friends. We go back thirty-seven years. I'm so moved. I'm so moved. I've got to thank Warner Bros.' Alan Horn and Dan and Jeff, and I've got to thank our producers Brad Grey and Graham King and Mac Brown and my old friend Joe Reidy, we're working for twenty years. And Rick Yorn and John Lesher and Chris Donnelly and Ari Emanuel. And that crazy script by Bill Monahan that got me in all this trouble in the first place. And Andrew Lau's original film from Hong Kong, the wonderful Asian cinema. And Michael Ballhaus on camera and Howard Shore's wonderful score and my old, good friend Thelma Schoonmaker. Ellen Lewis for her casting. And so much of this belongs to the cast, I can't tell you. Jack Nicholson for his courage and his inspiration. Leo DiCaprio, six-and-a-half year's work we've done together; I hope another twelve, another fifteen. Mark Wahlberg, Matt Damon, Alec Baldwin, Ray Winstone and Vera Farmiga and Marty Sheen. I just want to say, too, that so many people over the years have been wishing this for me, strangers, you know. I go walking in the street people say something to me, I go in a doctor's office, I go in a... whatever... elevators, people are saying, "You should win one, you should win one." I go for an x-ray, "You should win one." And I'm saying,"Thank you." An then friends of mine over the years and friends who are here tonight are wishing this for me and my family. I thank you. This is for you. And I want to thank my daughter Cathy, who is here tonight, who worked on the film. And Domenica, my wife Helen, and our little Francesca, who's seven years old, who's watching right now. Francesca, stay up for another ten minutes but then jump up and down and make a lot of noise at the hotel. Okay. I'll see you in the morning. Thank you.
15. Christopher Titus: Love Is Evol (2009 TV Special)
It is the worst thing I have been through in my life. I would rather be the majority stockholder in a chain of Alec Baldwin daycare centers.
It's not legal. Now, why would a woman say that? Why would anybody say that if it didn't happen? Let me explain something about no-fault states. And this is also for Alec Baldwin.
16. The 68th Annual Golden Globe Awards (2011 TV Special)
The next two presenters are funny, charming and down to earth. He's Alec from the rock, she's just Jenny from the Block... If the block in question is that one on Rodeo Drive between Cartier and Prada. Please welcome Alec Baldwin and Jennifer Lopez!
16 titles.