Stella:
When two people love each other, they come together - WHAM - like two taxis on Broadway.
Lisa:
How's your leg?
Jeff:
Hurts a little.
Lisa:
Your stomach?
Jeff:
Empty as a football.
Lisa:
And your love life?
Jeff:
Not too active.
Lisa:
Anything else bothering you?
Jeff:
Uh-huh, who are you?
Jeff:
She wants me to marry her.
Stella:
That's normal.
Jeff:
I don't want to.
Stella:
That's abnormal.
Lisa:
Today's a very special day.
Jeff:
It's just another run-of-the-mill Wednesday. The calendar's full of 'em.
Jeff:
When am I going to see you again?
Lisa:
[
angry] Not for a long time...
[
softening]
Lisa:
at least not until tomorrow night.
Jeff:
Why would a man leave his apartment three times on a rainy night with a suitcase and come back three times?
Lisa:
He likes the way his wife welcomes him home.
Lisa:
I wish I were creative.
Jeff:
You are. You're great at creating difficult situations.
Jeff:
He killed a dog last night because the dog was scratching around in the garden. You know why? Because he had something buried in that garden that the dog scented.
Lt. Doyle:
Like an old hambone?
Jeff:
I don't know what pet names Thorwald had for his wife.
Stella:
Let's go down there and find out what's burried in that garden.
Lisa:
Why not? I've always wanted to meet Mrs. Thorwald.
Lisa:
The last thing Mrs. Thorwald would leave behind would be her wedding ring. Stella, do you ever leave yours at home?
Stella:
The only way somebody would get that would be to chop off my - finger. Let's go down to the garden and find out what's buried there.
Lisa:
Why not? I always wanted to meet Mrs. Thorwald.
Jeff:
Those two yellow zinnias at the end, they're shorter now. Now since when do flowers grow *shorter* over the course of two weeks? Something's buried there.
Lisa:
Mrs. Thorwald!
Stella:
You haven't spent much time around cemeteries, have you? It's impossible that he could bury Mrs. Thorwald in a hole the size of one square foot. Unless he buried her standing on end, in which case he wouldn't need the knives and saws.
Lt. Doyle:
How do you do?
Lisa:
We think Thorwald's guilty.
Lisa:
A woman never goes anywhere but the hospital without packing makeup, clothes, and jewelry.
Lisa:
What's a logical explanation for a woman taking a trip with no luggage?
Jeff:
That she didn't know she was going on a trip and where she was going she wouldn't need any luggage.
Lisa:
Exactly.
Stella:
Intelligence. Nothing has caused the human race so much trouble as intelligence.
Lisa:
You can't ignore the wife dissapearing, and the truck, and the jewelery.
Lt. Doyle:
I checked the railroad station. Yesterday at 6:20 am, he bought a ticket. Ten minutes later, he put his wife on a train. Destination: Meritsville. I asure you, the witnesses are that deep.
Lisa:
That might have been a woman, but it couldn't have been Mrs. Thorwald. That jewelery...
Lt. Doyle:
Look, Miss Fremont, that feminine intuition stuff sells magazines, but in real life it's still a fairy tale. I don't know how many times I chased down leads based on women's intuition.
Lisa:
Jeff, you know if someone came in here, they wouldn't believe what they'd see? You and me with long faces plunged into despair because we find out a man didn't kill his wife. We're two of the most frightening ghouls I've ever known.
Lisa:
What's he doing? Cleaning house?
Jeff:
He's washing and scrubbing down the bathroom walls.
Stella:
Must've splattered a lot.
[
both Jeff and Lisa look at Stella with disgust]
Stella:
Come on, that's what were all thinkin'. He killed her in there, now he has to clean up those stains before he leaves.
Lisa:
Stella... your choice of words!
Stella:
Nobody ever invented a polite word for a killin' yet.
Lisa:
Tell me exactly what you saw and what you think it means.
Lisa:
According to you, people should be born, live, and die in the same place.
Stella:
We've become a race of Peeping Toms. What people ought to do is get outside their own house and look in for a change. Yes sir. How's that for a bit of homespun philosophy?
Jeff:
Readers Digest, April 1939.
Stella:
Well, I only quote from the best.
Lisa:
A murderer would never parade his crime in front of an open window.
Stella:
You'd think the rain would've cooled things down. All it did was make the heat wet.
Jeff:
[
Lisa wants to be part of Jeff's globe-trotting life of adventure] You don't sleep much, you bathe even less and you'd have to eat things that you wouldn't want to look at while they were alive.
Lisa:
I'm not much on rear window ethics.
Lt. Doyle:
Lars Thorwald... is no more a murderer than I am.
Jeff:
[
stunned] You mean that you can explain everything strange that has been going on over there, and is still going on?
Lt. Doyle:
No, and neither can you. That's a secret private world your looking into out there. People do a lot of things in private they couldn't possibly explain in public.
Lisa:
Like killing their wives?
Lt. Doyle:
Get that idea out of your head. It will only lead you in the wrong direction.
Stella:
Nobody ever invented a polite word for a killin' yet.
Stella:
Every man's ready to get married when the right girl comes along.
Stella:
I can hear you now: "Get out of my life, you wonderful woman. You're too good for me."
Lt. Doyle:
You didn't see the killing or the body. How do you know there was a murder?
Jeff:
Because everything this fellow's done has been suspicious: trips at night in the rain, knifes, saws, trunks with rope, and now this wife that isn't there anymore.
Lt. Doyle:
I admit it does have a mysterious sound. But it could be any number of things for the wife disappearing. Murder is the least part.
Jeff:
Now, Doyle, don't tell me that he's just an unemployed magician amusing the neighborhood with his sleight of hand. Don't tell me that.
[
first lines]
Voice on radio:
Men, are you over 40? When you wake up in the morning, do you feel tired and rundown? Do you have that listless feeling...
[
the camera pans around the courtyard; cut to later in the day]
Jeff:
[
answering phone] Jefferies.
Gunnison:
Congratulations, Jeff!
Jeff:
For what?
Gunnison:
For getting rid of that cast!
Jeff:
Who said I was getting rid of it?
Gunnison:
This is Wednesday; seven weeks from the day you broke your leg. Yes or no?
Jeff:
Gunnison, how did you ever get to be such a big editor with such a small memory?
Gunnison:
By thrift, industry, and hard work... and, uh, catching the publisher with his secretary. Did I get the wrong day?
Jeff:
No... no, wrong week. *Next* Wednesday I emerge from this plaster cocoon.
Jeff:
I get myself half killed for you and you reward me by stealing my assignments.
Gunnison:
I didn't ask you to stand in the middle of that automobile racetrack.
Jeff:
You asked for a, something dramatically different. You got it.
Gunnison:
So did you.
Gunnison:
It's about time you got married, before you turn into a lonesome and bitter old man.
Jeff:
Yeah, can't you just see me, rushing home to a hot apartment to listen to the automatic laundry and the electric dishwasher and the garbage disposal and the nagging wife...
Gunnison:
Jeff, wives don't nag anymore. They discuss.
Jeff:
Oh, is that so, is that so? Well, maybe in the high-rent district they discuss. In my neighborhood they still nag.
Stella:
The New York State sentence for a Peeping Tom is six months in the workhouse.
Jeff:
Oh, hello, Stella.
Stella:
And they got no windows in the workhouse.
Stella:
You heard of that market crash in '29? I predicted that.
Jeff:
Oh, just how did you do that, Stella?
Stella:
Oh, simple. I was nursing a director of General Motors. Kidney ailment, they said. Nerves, I said. And I asked myself, "What's General Motors got to be nervous about?" Overproduction, I says; collapse. When General Motors has to go to the bathroom ten times a day, the whole country's ready to let go.
Jeff:
She's too perfect, she's too talented, she's too beautiful, she's too sophisticated, she's too everything but what I want.
Stella:
Is, um, what you want something you can discuss?
Stella:
When I married Miles, we were both a couple of maladjusted misfits. We are still maladjusted misfits, and we have loved every minute of it.
Jeff:
Would you fix me a sandwich, please?
Stella:
Yes, I will. And I'll spread a little common sense on the bread.
[
describing a dress]
Lisa:
A steal at $1,100.
Jeff:
Eleven hundred? They ought to list that dress on the stock exchange.
Jeff:
She's like a queen bee with her pick of the drones.
Lisa:
I'd say she's doing a woman's hardest job: juggling wolves.
Jeff:
She sure is the "eat, drink and be merry" girl.
Stella:
Yeah, she'll wind up fat, alcoholic and miserable.
Stella:
Maybe one day she'll find her happiness.
Jeff:
Yeah, some man'll lose his.
Jeff:
I just can't figure it. He went out several times last night in the rain carrying his sample case.
Stella:
Well, he's a salesman, isn't he?
Jeff:
Well, what would he be selling at three o'clock in the morning?
Stella:
Flashlights. Luminous dials for watches. House numbers that light up.
Stella:
He's gonna run out on her, the coward.
Jeff:
Sometimes it's worse to stay than it is to run.
Lt. Doyle:
Jeff, you've got a lot to learn about homicide. Why, morons have committed murders so shrewdly that it's taken a hundred trained police minds to catch them.
Jeff:
Are you interested in solving this case or in making me look foolish?
Lt. Doyle:
Well, if possible, both.
Jeff:
Well then, do a good job of it.
Jeff:
What do you need as evidence? Bloody footprints leading up to his door?
Lt. Doyle:
One thing I don't need is heckling. You called me and asked for help. Now you're behaving like a taxpayer.
Jeff:
You know by tomorrow morning, there may not be any evidence left in that apartment, you know that?
Lt. Doyle:
A detective's worst nightmare.
Lisa:
Where does a man get inspiration to write a song like that?
Jeff:
He gets it from the landlady once a month.
Lt. Doyle:
What do you say we all sit down and have a nice friendly drink too, hmm? Forget all about this. We can tell lies about the good old days during the war.
Lt. Doyle:
Oh, Jeff, if you need any more help, consult the yellow pages in your telephone directory.
Lisa:
Oh, I love funny exit lines.
Lisa:
Why would Thorwald want to kill a little dog? Because it knew too much?
Stella:
[
to Lisa] You haven't spent much time around cemeteries, have you?
Lisa:
Well, if there's one thing I know, it's how to wear the proper clothes.
[
last lines]
Newlywed woman:
...but if you'd told me you quit your job, we wouldn't have gotten married.
Newlywed man:
Oh, honey, come on.
Detective:
[
referring to what was buried in Thorwald's flower bed] It's over in his apartment. In a hat box. Wanna look?
Stella:
Oh, no thanks - I don't want any part of her.
Jeff:
[
shivering as cold alcohol is poured on his back before a rubdown] Say, don't you ever heat that stuff up?
Stella:
Aw, it gives your system something to fight against.
Jeff:
What about the knife and saw I saw him wrapping up in newspaper?
Lt. Doyle:
Do you own a saw?
Jeff:
Well... yeah. At home in my garage, I keep...
Lt. Doyle:
How many people did you cut up with it?
[
regarding Jeff's telephoto lens]
Stella:
Mind if I use that portable keyhole?
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