Marcia wants to nominate Mike for "Father of the Year." But she wants to keep it a secret, which means she'll have to break family rules to get it done. If she's caught, Mike will punish her--which is exactly what happens.
Mike worries over a newspaper horoscope, which predicts that a strange woman will enter his life. That woman is a fussy perfume heiress, his firm's latest client who wants her perfume factory impossibly designed to her specifications.
Greg makes an "F" on a math test, and Mike and Carol discover it's because he has a crush on somebody named "Linda." They set out to find out who she is, completely unaware that "Linda" is actually his math teacher.
Cindy accidentally mixes in Marcia's diary with other books for a book drive. Marcia immediately freaks out, because she's worried that someone else will read it and learn about her secret crush on TV star Desi Arnaz Jr.
Mike believes that teaching the boys how to play baseball is more rigorous than helping Marcia earn her cooking merit badge. Carol believes the opposite is true. Therefore, the two decide to switch roles for the day to prove their point.
Jan gets a locket from a secret admirer. As the family try to determine who anonymously sent the locket, they're momentarily distracted when Jan loses the locket (after the clasp becomes loose and it falls off her).
The famous tale of Marcia's first house party, which almost doesn't happen after she is accused of scrawling an unflattering picture of her teacher in class. Marcia's brothers conspire to ruin the party, with the predictable result.
Marcia goes gaa-gaa over her first steady boyfriend, nerdy insect collector Harvey Klinger. Things progress so quickly they decide to start thinking about their future, leading Mike to subtly intervene.
The boys find a wallet with $1,100 in it and no identification. The boys want the money for themselves, the girls want the boys to split the money with them, but Mike turns to the police to help the owner find the wallet.
School bully Buddy Hinton makes fun of Cindy for her lisp and then gives Peter a black eye for trying to defend her. When Mike and Carol can't get Buddy's parents to listen to reason, Mike encourages Peter to defend himself and fight back.
Peter is going to miss a big camping trip after he breaks Carol's favorite vase. Each brother and sister confesses to keep him out of trouble. Mike and Carol figure out the truth and respond with an appeal to Peter's conscience to confess.