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The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes
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[Holmes is about to inject cocaine]
Watson: Where's your self-control?
Holmes: Fair question.
Watson: Aren't you ashamed of yourself?
Holmes: Thoroughly. This will take care of it.

Watson: Holmes, I hope I'm not being presumptuous, but... there *have* been women in your life, haven't there?
Holmes: The answer is yes.
[Watson breathes a sigh of relief]
Holmes: You're being presumptuous. Good night.

[about Madame Petrova]
Watson: They say twelve men have died for her.
Holmes: Really?
Watson: Six commited suicide, four were killed in duels and one fell out of the gallery of the Vienna Opera House.
Holmes: That's only eleven.
Watson: The man who fell from the gallery landed on top of another man in the orchestra.
Holmes: That makes an even dozen... in a messy sort of way.

Watson: [the doorbell rings] Were you expecting someone?
Holmes: Not at this time of night.
Watson: Perhaps Mrs Hudson is entertaining.
Holmes: I've never found her so.

Holmes: Some of us are cursed with memories like flypaper. Stuck there is a staggering amount of miscellaneous data, most of it useless.

Holmes: [Discussing Watson's portrayal of Holmes in 'Strand' Magazine] I don't dislike women, I merely distrust them. The twinkle in the eye and the arsenic in the soup...
Watson: You see it's touches like that which make you colourful.
Holmes: Lurid, more like!

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