Udo Kier is without a doubt the sickliest of vampires in any director's interpretation of the Bram Stoker tale. Count Dracula knows that if he fails to drink a required amount of pure virgin's [pronounced "wirgin's"] blood, it's time to move into a permanent coffin. His assistant (Renfield?) suggests that the Count and he pick up his coffin and take a road trip to Italy, where families are known to be particularly religious, and therefore should be an excellent place to search for a virgin bride. They do, only to encounter a family with not one, but FOUR virgins, ready for marriage. The Count discovers one-by-one that the girls are not as pure as they say they are, meanwhile a handsome servant/Communist begins to observe strange behaviour from the girls who do spend the night with the Count. It's a race for Dracula to discover who's the real virgin, before he either dies from malnourishment or from the wooden stake of the Communist! Written by
Jonathan Dakss <email@example.com>
He couldn't live without a virgin's blood..... ...So a virgin had to die! [UK]
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Why did you take me on this hopeless... journey? let me go home and die in peace! what good is it to have tea when I can't find the right vegetable to go with it? I guess I have to eat the rest of the romanian lettuce... with lemon. Ze oil! Zey put zo much oil here on EVERYting! But there must be some cheese?
Version of Matinee Theatre: Dracula