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10 out of 11 people found the following review useful:
Space Babe, 10 April 2006
6/10
Author: iago-6 (scott@cinemademerde.com) from NYC

I got this movie when I saw it for $5 at this booth where this guy was selling a lot of old DVDs from Wal-Mart's defunct DVD rental service. I knew nothing about it, but saw the title, that it was the only film role for Playboy Playmate of the Year Dorothy Stratten, and that it was put out by Rhino, so I hauled off and bought it.

It begins with a rip-off of the Star Wars crawl, which they obviously thought needed to be three long paragraphs in order to be a true parody, because it goes on forever without having much to say. What it does is tell you that this ship is traveling along with Galaxina, who is this robot shaped like a Playboy Playmate who manages this ship. Then there is a LONG shot of the expanse of the ship, also like Star Wars, and the credits go on. The credits go on forever, in fact, pausing every now and then to show Galaxina in her glowly chair (a great image, but one we end up seeing a lot of) and the ship flying through space.

What strikes one right away is how straightfaced this all is. The tone is entirely serious and somber, even when the events of the story are ridiculous, which sets it apart from other space comedies like The Ice Pirates, which I just watched, and whose music offers a clue to the wacky tone throughout. Not here.

Anyway, so we're introduced to our crew, including Sarge, who is first seen doing rows and smoking a cigar. He looks a bit like Jackson Browne. There's another, prettier guy, and Captain Corneilius Butt, who is hilariously introduced at the climax of a 2001-like build-up. They hang out for a bit, with Butt torturing a captive alien for a while, before they encounter a Darth Vader-like alien who engages then in a space fight. There they are, deadlocked and waiting for one ship's shields to fail first, and then all of a sudden it's over with no explanation and they just proceed about their business.

Now, Galaxina, who wears a white outfit that can accurately be described as "form-fitting," cannot speak, and touching her (say when you're reaching round to goose her) delivers an electric shock. Then Captain Butt eats a disgusting space egg and burps up an Alien-type creature which escapes into the ship. Then Sarge declares his love for Galaxina, and endures a painful shock just to embrace her for a moment.

They are then ordered to go fetch the Blue Star, every mention of which cues a burst on the soundtrack like upon the utterance of "Frau Bluerheher" in Young Frankenstein. They will have to go into cryosleep for 27 years to get there, and 27 more to get back, which they are justifiably annoyed about. But all is forgiven when they are offered ONE night of rec leave. What does this say about the priorities of the working classes? So they spend one night in a space brothel where they are entertained by a variety of strange female aliens. This sequence is obviously modeled on the cantina sequence from Star Wars, and features makeup that is comparable to that movie. Then into cryosleep. While in cryosleep the little alien comes out and tries to dethaw Captain Butt, but cannot figure out the code and eventually gives up with a whimper.

While the guys are in cryosleep Galaxina, who has fallen in love with Sarge, teaches herself to speak and makes her body warm and soft. Upon thawing him out she offers herself to him, saying that she'll make his every wish her command. Then she is kidnapped by space bikers who are going to sacrifice her to the god "Har Lee David Son," when she is rescued, they get the blue star, the end.

Somewhere in here is a funny commercial that says "Do you have a drinking problem? Then come on down to Happy Hour Spirits! We've got all the booze you need!" So, what of it? It's obviously a highly silly thing (that wears out its welcome after an hour—why do all movies HAVE to be at least 90 minutes?), but what's strange is that the tone throughout is sort of spacey and somber, which makes all the supposedly funny scenes and wackiness have a strange kind of hypnotic sadness and loneliness. That's the most notable thing about this movie (well, I guess aside from Stratten), but it's not really enough to make watching it worthwhile.

And what of Stratten? She is pretty and has a great body, showcased throughout, but it seems odd for a movie which seems to exist mostly to highlight her and her charms, that she remains fully covered throughout and doesn't really even do much that's outwardly sexy. Huh. Stratten is the subject of Bob Fosse's Star 80, which is now comfortably ensconced in my rental list.

There is an easter egg where you can click on the spaceship in the middle of the menu, leading you to "alien audition footage," which is really three pieces of primitive computer animation. The most convincing explanation is that some guy who worked on the DVD had these student projects in computer animation, and couldn't bear to see them just thrown out.

That's about it. Not really worth seeking out (unless you want to oogle Stratten), but not really painful to sit through. Another one of those strange oddities (and odd it definitely is) that was made… for some reason that remains unclear.

-- Hey, check out Cinema de Merde, my website devoted to bad and cheesy movies. You can get the url from my email address above...

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10 out of 11 people found the following review useful:
It has a subtle genius for failure., 23 July 2000
Author: roarshock from Oregon USA

A strange thing happened the day after I saw Galaxina, back when it was released. The movie is a spoof of sci-fi movies and is full of jokes, puns and sight gags; but I just sat there in the theater and never laughed once. Or, more accurately, I didn't feel the least tickle of amusement. It was more like a string of detached observations of, "Ah, that joke flopped badly." If it had been a live performance, there would have been those crushing dead silences every time the actors paused to allow reactions to their jokes.

The next night, at a party, I was trying describe just how bad the movie really was. This involved, in part, telling several of the jokes. Surprisingly, my listeners laughed at them. I could flatter myself and claim that I'm such a hot comic that I could get laughs even reading the obituaries out loud. But that ain't so. Let's just say that I gave the jokes a mildly competent delivery... and that's what Galaxina didn't do.

Now, a work of genius is indefinable. No matter how much you analyze it, you can never quite pin down why it is so exceptional, while another film - with all the same objective attributes - is merely competent. The same is true of transcendent badness. The world is full of bad movies, with the same objective failures in budget, acting, writing and directing. But Galaxina is loaded with subtle catastrophes. There are nuances that extract the worst possible effect from so many scenes. And I can't quite figure out how it was done. Without this quality Galaxina might actually have ended up acceptably incompetent, a fun cheapo film, and gotten the laughs I did from its jokes.

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11 out of 13 people found the following review useful:
Give Gal a chance, 13 March 2005
7/10
Author: nixed from United Kingdom

I first saw this film when I was very young, so my judgement may be clouded by youthful rose-tinted glasses ... but what the hell, I like this flick. Call me inane, puerile, sophomoric, or just plain stupid, but I laughed (and STILL do!) whenever the soundtrack does that DOO-WAH whenever the Blue Star (I'm gracing it with caps) is mentioned. I beg anyone who likes this film to seek out the budget UK PAL region 0 DVD release of this film, as it features the full uncut (and indeed this film WAS shorn of some 10 minutes of non-essential footage in some prints, including the Rhino DVD), which to boot is presented in full 2.35:1 widescreen in a jaw-droppingly pristine transfer - for my money it was gleaned from the original negative. If not, YOU explain why it looks like it was shot yesterday. Compared to more recent DTV sci-fi parodies, Galaxina holds up well and deserves a re-appraisal... but see the uncut widescreen version first!

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9 out of 11 people found the following review useful:
It's not that bad, 21 November 2004
5/10
Author: Sic Coyote from Staffs, England

I bought this for £1 on DVD and it got left on my shelf for AGES till I decided to unwrap it and watch it in an effort to get through all the unwatched films in my collection.

The movie didn't start out that promising it and not that funny. You could see the jokes were there but most just didn't work (although I did find anything that came out of Sam Wo's mouth quite funny), as the film gets on the jokes do get better and it's just something you have to get into.

This film is probably best left to those who can stand(or do I mean enjoy) the work of Empire pictures as this will give you an idea of the kind of stuff to expect.

It's not a laugh riot, it's not a classic, but there are some very funny lines in there and interesting visuals. But ultimately I guess it could have been a lot better. I think it may grow on me after a few watches and maybe I could convince some of my friends to watch it too. 4/10

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11 out of 16 people found the following review useful:
It's not that bad, 14 November 2004
9/10
Author: Martin-Zacherl from England, Germany

Come on guys, Galaxina is not that bad. I got it as a present from a friend who knows about my interest in let's say 'not so commercially successful flicks'. A DVD for one pound sterling seemed to qualify for that category. So we watched it together and I have to say I was the only one who admitted loving Galaxina. Okay, it's not the funniest movie ever made; however I made me (and the others) laugh. Not always when it was probably intended...

To put it in a nutshell, I have seen much worse movies, and after all Galaxina isn't taking itself seriously either. It's worth reading about Dorothy Stratten, (Galaxina) and her fate here on IMDb or the web.

So, give it a chance!

Martin

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6 out of 8 people found the following review useful:
Dorothy is the only reason to see this unfunny sci-fi spoof, 28 September 2000
4/10
Author: theeht from ny, ny

Dorothy Stratten is the only reason to watch this unfunny sci-fi spoof, and her appearance is a disappointment. Though she has the title role, her screentime is limited, and she only speaks a few lines of dialogue. If you're not a Stratten fan, pass this one up.

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11 out of 18 people found the following review useful:
If you ever wondered..., 31 December 2006
1/10
Author: JoeB131 from United States

... what a porn movie would look like if you took out the sex and just left in the bad dialog, cheap sets and bad acting, you would have Galaxina.

This film came out when the Original Star Wars proved there was a market for Science Fiction. This in turn lead to some gems such as Alien and a revitalized Star Trek. Unfortunately, it also led to some bad movies, and this was obviously one of them. (I say obviously, because I hadn't even heard of this film until a few days ago.I missed it when it came out in 1980.)

Here's the underlying problem. Dorothy Stratton couldn't act, so for most of the movie, they didn't even let her try. I understand her tragic death has given this film an undeserved cult status, but for the life of me I can't understand why.

Clearly, the movie tried to Spoof Star Wars, Star Trek and Aliens, but they clearly don't understand than when you spoof something, it has to be FUNNY! This movie wasn't, or at least, the comic timing on jokes that could have been funny weren't. Science Fiction is ripe for parody, as Spaceballs and Galaxy Quest proved. This movie, however, did it poorly.

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4 out of 5 people found the following review useful:
Deliciously Awful! One of my favorite bad movies., 24 December 2006
1/10
Author: gallopinggiraffes from United States

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

For connoisseurs of bad movies, Galaxina is a true gem. With truly horrid dialog, acting, and directing, it's no choice for people seeking a proper movie. But as one of the most unintentionally hilarious movies of its genre, it's priceless for a good laugh. In particular, the scenes involving the Harley Davidson-worshiping motorcycle cult are especially good, and many other scenes present an opportunity for a cheap laugh.

Sadly, the scenes with Dorothy Stratten really fail to deliver, but since she's playing an android, I suppose one can excuse her for wooden acting.

Bad movie-lovers, don't pass this one up!

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5 out of 7 people found the following review useful:
Fantastic!, 19 February 2006
8/10
Author: scottishgirl-1 from United States

If you take this movie as camp, and don't expect any deep "filme discovere" nuances, you will have a helluva good time! There are many quotable lines, so if you watch it with a bunch of friends, you may find yourselves saying to one another, "If a jackass had both your brains, he'd be a very dumb jackass!" Avery Schreiber is one of those poor souls who were delegated to the "sidekick" and "character actor" roles. You may remember him from commercials, rather than from film, but he is a force to be reckoned with, comically. I can almost unequivocally guarantee that you will LOVE him in this film! This film is one of those rare gems that transcends its own "badness." It is so supremely awful, that it becomes great.....Much like Woody Allen.

Enjoy!

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2 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
Just Plain Awful, 24 January 2009
1/10
Author: Gary Dibert (garyldibert@msn.com) from Pittsburgh Pa.

This picture hit the movie screens on June 6th 1980, starring Stephen Macht as Sergeant Thor, Avery Schreiber as Captain Comelius Butt, J.D. Hinton as Buzz and starring Playmate of the year Dorothy Stratton. The picture starts with the police infinity roaming space looking for I guess criminals. There ship is suddenly attacked by an unknown space ship. Enters Sergeant Thor and his partner Buzz as they try to figure out who the unknown ship belongs to. When failing they call on Captain Comelius who instructs his crew to fight back. Enters the gorgeous Dorothy Stratton, who plays the role of Galaxina who is man made robot. An now a few thoughts on this picture. This movie was plan stupid and it's one of the reasons that I don't get into Sci-Fi. If you're into Sci-Fi you would have notice that the laser sound effects were borrowed from an early Sci-fi movie titled Battlestar Galactica which aired in theaters in 1978. Many of the door sounds that you hear in this movie came from another Sci-Fi movie that aired back in 1966 titled Star Trek. Now for the reason that I bought this movie, Dorothy Stratton. She is gorgeous in her one piece suit. I think her talents were wasted in this picture and she should have never been involved in such garbage. Connie Sellecca was also considered for the role and her talents would have been wasted also. On the picture alone I give this movie 1 weasel star and on Dorothy Stratton I give her 10 weasel stars even though she didn't deserve to be put into a trash movie like this. If you like pictures like this you can get the DVD version on Amazon.com

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