Memorable quotes for
The Funhouse (1981) More at IMDbPro »

Funhouse: [discovers that the Monster - who also turns out to be his son - has killed Madame Zena after paying her for sex... because she wouldn't give him a refund] You paid Madame Zena a hundred dollars for this? You crazy fool, I could have gotten you one of them tent-girls for fifteen! Well, you never were much for knowing the value of cash, were you?

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Funhouse: [to the freak] Hit yerself, you ugly thing!

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Funhouse: ...Who will dare to face the challenge of the Funhouse? Who is mad enough to enter that world of darkness? How about you, sir...?

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Mrs. Harper: ...I don't see why you wanna waste your time with a guy who works in a filling station.
Amy Harper: It's a first date, Mama. We're not getting married.

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Amy Harper: ...Listen, how would you like to go to the movies instead of the carnival?
Buzz Klemmet: The movies? What for?
Amy Harper: It's the same carnival that went through Fairfield County, where they had all that trouble.
Buzz Klemmet: Terrific. Maybe we'll get a little action. Come on. You're not afraid to go, are you?
Amy Harper: No, I just don't feel like it. Besides, I promised my father we were going to the movies.
Buzz Klemmet: Forget about your old man. He's trying to bum your evening.
Amy Harper: How can you say that? You don't even know my father.
Buzz Klemmet: Hey, loosen up, will ya?

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Richie Atterbury: ...Amy'll hit it off for sure. Buzz is a terrific guy.
Liz Duncan: She's stoned. When you're stoned, *Charles Manson* is a terrific guy.

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Liz Duncan: I hate people who preach. Especially in bathrooms.

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Buzz Klemmet: Hey! Watch who you're calling an asshole, asshole.

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Richie Atterbury: When I was a kid, I once tried to spook my older brother by hiding in his closet. While I was waiting in there to jump out and scare him, a weird thought came into my head. What if he knew I was in there, and he was standing just outside the closet door, waiting to jump out and scare me?
Liz Duncan: So, what happened?
Buzz Klemmet: He locked you in, didn't he?
Richie Atterbury: I waited for three hours till my parents came home and got me out. I was too scared to touch the doorknob. I... I wet my pants.

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Funhouse: ...I've been expecting you.
Amy Harper: Why are you doing this?
Funhouse: I'm just protecting my family.
Amy Harper: Your family? It's not even human.
Funhouse: The Lord works in mysterious ways, little lady... He ain't such a bad fella; he does get himself in all sorts of trouble, though, don't he? Anyway, blood is thicker than water; I'm sure he's gonna be a real comfort to me in my old age. Now, how many people know you're here?
Amy Harper: Lots. They all know.
Funhouse: Well, no matter. We'll be pullin' outta here tomorrow mornin'. There's plenty other carnivals.
Buzz Klemmet: What'd you do with Liz?
Funhouse: Oh, I expect by now he's just finishin' up with her. We'll just wait here till he gets back.
[Richie's corpse appears]
Funhouse: Oh, my, my! That *is* a gruesome sight.
[Buzz attacks the Barker for his gun, which goes off and kills the Barker; then the Monster appears and attacks Buzz for the gun, which goes off again and kills Buzz]

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Funhouse: ...I've been expecting you.
Amy Harper: Why are you doing this?
Funhouse: I'm just protecting my family.
Amy Harper: Your family? It's not even human.
Funhouse: The Lord works in mysterious ways, little lady... He ain't such a bad fella; he does get himself in all sorts of trouble, though, don't he? Anyway, blood is thicker than water; I'm sure he's gonna be a real comfort to me in my old age. Now, how many people know you're here?
Amy Harper: Lots. They all know.
Funhouse: Well, no matter. We'll be pullin' outta here tomorrow mornin'. There's plenty other carnivals.
Buzz Klemmet: What'd you do with Liz?
Funhouse: Oh, I expect by now he's just finishin' up with her. We'll just wait here till he gets back.
[Richie's corpse appears]
Funhouse: Oh, my, my! That *is* a gruesome sight.

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