[
first lines]
[
opening monologue]
Ash:
My name is Ash and I am a slave. As far as I can figure, the year is thirteen hundred A.D and I'm being dragged to my death. It wasn't always like this, I had a real life, once. A job.
Ash:
[
now Ash is in a flashback] Umm... Hardware aisle twelve, shop smart, shop S-Mart!
Ash:
[
back to monologue] I had a wonderful girlfriend Linda. Together we drove to a small cabin in the mountains. It seems an archeologist had come to this remote place to translate and study his latest find: Necronomiconexmortis. The Book of the Dead. Bound in human flesh and inked in blood, this ancient Samarian text contained bizarre burial rights, funeral incantations, and demon resurrection passages, it was never meant for the world of the living. The book awoke something dark in the woods, something evil.
[
something crashes through the window of the cabin and Linda screams]
Ash:
It took Linda. Then it came after me, it got into my hand and it went bad, so I lopped it off at the wrist.
[
Ash is seen cutting off his hand]
Ash:
But that didn't stop it, it came back big time.
Ash:
[
Ash gets pulled into the vortex holding onto the doorway] For God's sake how do you stop it?
[
...]
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