Judge:
When a man's jawbone drops off it's time to reassess the situation.
Dammers:
My body is a roadmap of pain.
Frank Bannister:
I gotta have an out-of-body-experience, and I gotta have it RIGHT NOW!
Frank Bannister:
You are SUCH an asshole.
Milton Dammers:
I'm an asshole... with an Uzi!
Dammers:
Sheriff! You are violating my territorial bubble.
[
an Elvis statuette flies around the room during a Poltergeist appearance]
Ray Lynskey:
He's alive!
Judge:
Give it up, Frank! Death ain't no way to make a living!
Sergeant Hiles:
What in the hell are you doing in my graveyard? You have been told to stay away! Sound off like you've got a pair!
Frank Bannister:
Yeah, well, it's a public place, Hiles.
Sergeant Hiles:
I do not like you! You cannot bring your spooks here without my permission! Disappear, scumbag!
Frank Bannister:
Catch you later, Hiles.
Sergeant Hiles:
Hey - my tour of duty runs another 85 years! There's a piece of dirt up here with your name on it, Bannister! I'm waitin' for you, you little maggot!
Cyrus:
You know if I wanted to get shot at everyday, I'd move my black ass to Los Angeles!
[
about to have sex with a mummy]
Judge:
There's a reason they call me the "hanging judge".
Judge:
[
after having sex with a mummy] I like it when they lie still like that.
Frank Bannister:
[
as he's leaving his basement via the stairs] Start pulling your weight, guys or you're going back to the cemetery.
Cyrus:
Yeah, well you can pull this, Frank.
[
grabs crotch]
Cyrus:
I'm 'bout to go like Jesse on you're ass. I'm goin' to find me some other black ghosts and then organize a march. The African American Apparition Coalition. The A-double AC
[
shouting]
Cyrus:
And I'm gonna tell you something, Frank. It ain't nuthin worse than a bunch of pissed off brothers that's already dead.
[
last lines]
Dr. Lucy Lynskey:
Boy that Dammers guy, he sure looks pissed.
Frank Bannister:
[
without realizing] Yeah.
[
the penny suddenly drops and Frank looks back in surprise at Lucy]
Dr. Lucy Lynskey:
Well sometimes Frank, you see when you go through a traumatic experience, it kind of alters your perception.
Frank Bannister:
[
to Stuart and Cyrus] Why is it that flies stick to you guys like shit to a blanket?
Cyrus:
Ha ha, very funny. You're a funny guy, Frank. You know, all you think about is yourself. I could complain, too, you know. I would like some new clothes. You get to dress nice. Here I am still looking like Linc from The Mod Squad.
Frank Bannister:
You died in the 70's. It's a bummer.
Johnny Charles Bartlett:
[
Johnny, violently upset, interrupting his girlfriend, counterpart of this serial-killer couple] Shut up! That Russian cannibal creep is telling everyone he did 50 plus. That reflects badly on both of us, Patty. This record should be held by an American.
Cyrus:
Ah, the old express train to Hell. No lines, no waiting!
Patricia Ann Bradley:
I'm in the mood for a little vivisection.
Milton Dammers:
[
interrogating Lucy] Did he use excessive amounts of table salt during his meal?
Dr. Lucy Lynskey:
What?
Milton Dammers:
*Answer*... the question!
Dr. Lucy Lynskey:
[
shouting] FOR CHRIST'S SAKE, IT'S REALLY LATE. I DON'T KNOW, OK?
Frank Bannister:
[
after seeing the glowing number on her forehead] You're next.
Magda Rees-Jones:
He's threatening to kill me!
Ray Lynskey:
[
Frank has smashed one of his lawn gnomes] No! Not Budzo!
Dammers:
[
accusing Frank of killing] But what about the guy in the toilet? What did *he* do? Piss on your Hush Puppies?
Sergeant Hiles:
Ho-lee Jesus! Frank Bannister!
Frank Bannister:
I thought guys like you rotted in Hell.
Johnny Charles Bartlett:
I got out.
Sergeant Hiles:
I am not one of your shitty little emanations, Bannister!
Ray Lynskey:
Bannister, what is happening to me?
Frank Bannister:
Well, Ray, you appear to be dead.
Ray Lynskey:
Don't say that. That's impossible. I'm in the prime of my life. I work out every single day. My wife's a goddamn doctor!
Frank Bannister:
Why didn't you take the Corridor?
Ray Lynskey:
What corridor?
Frank Bannister:
The Corridor of Life, the passageway to the other side.
Ray Lynskey:
Because I don't belong on the other side! Jesus Christ, I'm only 29!
[
Frank's spirit goes through a wall and Ray pulls him out]
Ray Lynskey:
Hey, hey, hey. Ray. Just relax, all right? You wanna tell me what happened?
Ray Lynskey:
I was on the rowing machine, and then suddenly I felt this vice-like grip just squeezing my heart and I couldn't breathe, Frank. I just-- I couldn't breathe.
Ray Lynskey:
[
shudders] Oh, I've got the shakes. I need some vitamin B.
Frank Bannister:
You can't take vitamins anymore. You don't eat. You don't drink. You don't go the bathroom. All that shit's over with.
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