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Ghost World (2001)
Alcoholic Customer:
Do you serve beer or any alcohol?
Enid: I wish. Actually you wish... after about five minutes of this movie, you're gonna wish you had ten beers.
Rebecca: This is so bad it's almost good.
Enid: This is so bad it's gone past good and back to bad again.
Rebecca: You actually like that guy?
Enid: I don't know, I kind of like him. He's the exact opposite of everything I really hate. In a way, he's such a clueless dork, he's almost kind of cool.
Rebecca: That guy is many things, but he's definitely not cool.
Enid: So what was all that about enlarged holes and tight cracks?
Seymour: I can't relate to 99% of humanity.
Rebecca: Oh, face it, you just hate every single guy on the face of the earth.
Enid: That's not true. I just hate all these extroverted, obnoxious, pseudo-bohemian losers.
Enid: God, what a bunch of retards...
Rebecca: I thought Chipmunk-face was never going to shut up.
Enid: I know, I liked her better when she was an alcoholic crack addict! She gets in one car wreck and all of a sudden she's Little Miss Perfect and everybody loves her.
Rebecca: It's totally sickening.
Enid: I think only stupid people have good relationships.
Seymour: That's the spirit.
Rebecca: Oh look, there he is.
Enid: As always.
Rebecca: Waiting for the bus that never comes.
Enid: I wonder if he's just totally insane, or he really thinks the bus is coming?
Rebecca: Why don't you just ask him?
Enid: Hi. What's your name?
Norman: Norman.
Enid: Are you waiting for a bus?
Norman: Yes.
Enid: I hate to tell you this, but they canceled this bus line two years ago. There are no more buses on this street.
Norman: You don't know what you're talking about.
Rebecca: So, what do you do if you're a Satanist?
Enid: Sacrifice virgins and stuff.
Rebecca: I guess that lets us off the hook.
Enid: I think I'm going crazy from sexual frustration.
Rebecca: And you haven't heard the miracle of masturbation?
Maxine: It's really quite something to see you all grown-up like this, Enid. I'd love to know what you're doing now. I can't help but feel I had some small part in how you turned out. What're you studying? You were always such a smart little girl.
Enid: I'm taking a remedial high school art class for fuck-ups and retards.
Enid: We need to find a place where you can go to meet women who share your interests.
Seymour: Maybe I don't want to meet someone who shares my interests. I hate my interests.
[Seymour can't wait for two mothers and their many kids to cross an intersection]
Seymour: What are we, in slow motion here? C'mon, what are you, hypnotized? Have some more kids, why don't you.
Seymour: You think it's healthy to obsessively collect things? You can't relate to other people, so you fill your life with stuff... I'm just like all these other collector losers.
Enid: [Enid is reading a note clipped to her diploma] What?
Rebecca: What?
Enid: These assholes are saying I have to go to summer school and take some stupid art class.
Rebecca: Why?
Enid: God, I didn't think that just because you get an "F" you have to take the whole class over again.
Rebecca: [snickering] Loser.
[Enid is looking at the racist logo of Cook's Chicken, formerly Coon Chicken]
Enid: So, I don't get it. Are you saying things were better then, even though there was stuff like this?
Seymour: I suppose things are better now, but... I don't know. People still hate each other, they just know how to hide it better.
Enid: Hey, look. There's the pants.
[Doug comes into the Sidewinder without a shirt on]
Doug: What's up, Josh? Give me two packs of cigarettes today. Working overtime: Sixteen hours.
[Puts malt liquir bottle on the counter]
Doug: And nature's nectar, wake-up juice. And give me six of these beef jerkys. I'm hungry enough to chew the crotch out of a rag doll.
[Sidewinder Boss spots him]
Sidewinder Boss: Hey. Hey. How many times do I have to tell you? No shirt, no service. Get the hell out of my store. What do you think this is, Club Med?
Doug: It's called America, dude. Learn the rules.
Sidewinder Boss: "Learn the rules?" No, YOU learn the rules. We Greeks invented democracy.
Doug: You also invented homos.
Sidewinder Boss: Fuck you.
Doug: You wish. You gotta buy me dinner first.
Doug: Rock n' roll, baby: Freedom of speech.
[on a comedian billed as the weirdest man in show biz]
Enid: If he's so weird, why is he wearing Nikes?
Enid: It's not like I'm some modern punk, dickhead. It's an obvious, 1977 original punk rock look. I guess Johnny fuckface over there's too stupid to realize it.
Rebecca: I didn't really get it either.
Enid: Everyone's too stupid.
[observing Seymour's order from across the diner]
Enid: Oh my God. He just ordered a giant glass of milk.
Josh: ...That's a vanilla milkshake.
[after seeing Seymour just miss hitting a truck]
Enid: Oh my god. It's him. He's insane.
Rebecca: We should follow him home.
Seymour: Well, I have to admit that things are really starting to look up for me since my life turned to shit.
Angry Garage Sale Woman: How much for this dress?
Rebecca: God, I can't believe you're selling that.
Enid: That's $500.
Angry Garage Sale Woman: What?
Enid: 500.
Angry Garage Sale Woman: You're crazy. It should be like $2.
Enid: I was wearing that dress when I lost my virginity.
Angry Garage Sale Woman: Why do I care?
Enid: Well, why do you want it? I mean, it would look stupid on you anyway.
Angry Garage Sale Woman: God. Fuck you.
Dana: I am so excited to see this movie. Dustoff Varnya is such a brilliant director. Did you see his last film, "The Flower that Drank the Moon"? It was simply glorious!
Seymour: I guess I must have missed that one. But then what do I know. I like Laurel and Hardy movies.
Dana: Really? I never really cared for those. I mean, why does the fat one always have to be so mean to the skinny one?
Roberta: That piece is entitled "Mirror, Father, Mirror." I like to show it to people that I'm meeting for the first time because I feel it says so much about who I am and what it feels like to inhabit my specific skin.
[at their High School graduation, Enid and Rebecca encounter Melorra, an incredibly cute and annoying classmate]
Melorra: Oh my God. We have to get together this summer.
Enid: [Deadpan] Yeah... That'll definitely happen.
Enid: Josh.
Rebecca: Josh.
Enid, Rebecca: Josh!
Enid: God, I'll bet he's in there jerking off.
Rebecca: I'll bet he never jerks off.
Enid: Yeah, he's beyond human, and stuff like that.
Rebecca: Should we leave him a note?
Enid: Sure. You got a pen?
[Rebecca pulls out a pen, Enid takes it]
Enid: [writing] Dear Josh, we came by to fuck you, but you were not home. Therefore... you are gay. Signed Tiffany, and Amber.
Melorra: Oh my god, you guys. We actually made it!
Enid: [Deadpan] Yeah. We graduated high school. How... totally... amazing.
Enid: Wow, look at me. I'm not even listening to a word you're saying.
John Ellis: You know, you never paid me for that Indian dance routine tape.
Enid: Yes I did.
John Ellis: You Jews are so clever with money.
Enid: Fuck you. Stupid redneck hick.
Soda Customer: Hi, can I get a medium 7-Up?
Enid: ...Medium? Why sir, did you know that for a mere 25 cents more you can purchase a large beverage? And you know... I'm only telling you this because we're such good friends: Medium is really only for suckers who don't know the concept of value.
Enid: Look at this.
Rebecca: What?
Enid: Is Stacy Himmler going out with Rod Harbaugh.
Rebecca: Oh, God. How perfect.
Enid: He better watch out or he'll get AIDS when he date-rapes her.
[pretending to hold up Starbucks in a Catwoman mask]
Enid: Gimme all your money, bitch!
Rebecca: God, I'm so sick of Seymour.
Seymour: Let the machine get it, I have no desire to talk to anyone who might be calling me.
Enid: By the end of the summer you're going to be up to your neck in pussy.
Enid: Are you into girls with big tits?
Seymour: As long as she's not a complete imbecile and she's even remotely attractive.
Phillip: It's a really great video game about a guy who kills people with a big hammer.
Roberta: Oh. I thought it was supposed to be your father.
Enid: How come all that time I was trying to get you a date you never asked me out?
Seymour: You're a beautiful girl, I couldn't imagine you'd have any interest in me except as an amusingly cranky eccentric curiosity.
Enid: Just list your five main interests in order of importance.
Seymour: I'm gonna have to put traditional jazz, blues... and then ragtime at the top of the list.
Enid: Right, so let's just say music, that way we only use up one.
Enid: Josh, he's nobody's boyfriend, he's just this guy that Becky and I like to torture.
Enid: How can you stand all these assholes
Rebecca: Some people are ok, mostly I just feel like poisoning everybody.
Reggae Fan: You guys up for some reggae tonight?
Graduation Speaker: High school is like the training wheels for the bicycle of real life. It is a time for young people to explore different fields of interest and to hopefully learn from their experiences. In coming to terms with my own personal setback, I've learned that I don't need to rely on drugs and alcohol, and that I'm very lucky that more people besides myself and Carrie weren't injured in the accident. And I've learned that to overcome life's obstacles you need faith, hope and, above all, a sense of humor.
Roberta: [in Art Class, the teacher is asking about their homework: create a piece of art that responds to something you have strong feelings about. She spots a wire sculpture made from two coathangers] Who is responsible for this?
Snotty Girl - Art Class: I am.
Roberta: Talk to us about it...
Snotty Girl - Art Class: It's my response to the issue of a woman's right to choose... it's something I feel super-strongly about.
Enid: Are all these records?
Seymour: I've got about 1500 78's at this point. I've tried to pare down my collection to just the essentials.
[Enid and Seymour enter the Sidewinder to see Josh scooping some ice cream for a little girl]
Enid: Hi, Josh.
Josh: Hi.
Enid: Just stopping by to say "hi".
Josh: Yeah.
Enid: [motions to Seymour] This is my friend, Seymour.
[Josh recognizes Seymour and drops the ice cream. The little girl starts crying]
Enid: Okay. Well, we'll see you later Josh.
[Enid and Seymour exit]
Sidewinder Boss: Josh, what you goddamn doing? Clean up that fucking mess! Jesus!
Masterpiece Video Customer: I'm looking for a copy of 8 1/2.
Masterpiece Video Clerk: Yessir! Is it a new release, sir?
Masterpiece Video Customer: No, it's the classic Italian film.
Masterpiece Video Clerk: Let me look that up on the computer for you, sir!
[fiddles with computer]
Masterpiece Video Clerk: Yes, here it is - 9 1/2 Weeks with Mickey Rourke. It's in our "Erotic Dramas" section.
Masterpiece Video Customer: No, not "9 1/2", 8 1/2, the Fellini film.
Masterpiece Video Clerk: I'll check that for you sir. How do you spell the actor's name - F-I-L-E-E-P-E-E...?
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Enid: I wish. Actually you wish... after about five minutes of this movie, you're gonna wish you had ten beers.
Rebecca: This is so bad it's almost good.
Enid: This is so bad it's gone past good and back to bad again.
Rebecca: You actually like that guy?
Enid: I don't know, I kind of like him. He's the exact opposite of everything I really hate. In a way, he's such a clueless dork, he's almost kind of cool.
Rebecca: That guy is many things, but he's definitely not cool.
Enid: So what was all that about enlarged holes and tight cracks?
Seymour: I can't relate to 99% of humanity.
Rebecca: Oh, face it, you just hate every single guy on the face of the earth.
Enid: That's not true. I just hate all these extroverted, obnoxious, pseudo-bohemian losers.
Enid: God, what a bunch of retards...
Rebecca: I thought Chipmunk-face was never going to shut up.
Enid: I know, I liked her better when she was an alcoholic crack addict! She gets in one car wreck and all of a sudden she's Little Miss Perfect and everybody loves her.
Rebecca: It's totally sickening.
Enid: I think only stupid people have good relationships.
Seymour: That's the spirit.
Rebecca: Oh look, there he is.
Enid: As always.
Rebecca: Waiting for the bus that never comes.
Enid: I wonder if he's just totally insane, or he really thinks the bus is coming?
Rebecca: Why don't you just ask him?
Enid: Hi. What's your name?
Norman: Norman.
Enid: Are you waiting for a bus?
Norman: Yes.
Enid: I hate to tell you this, but they canceled this bus line two years ago. There are no more buses on this street.
Norman: You don't know what you're talking about.
Rebecca: So, what do you do if you're a Satanist?
Enid: Sacrifice virgins and stuff.
Rebecca: I guess that lets us off the hook.
Enid: I think I'm going crazy from sexual frustration.
Rebecca: And you haven't heard the miracle of masturbation?
Maxine: It's really quite something to see you all grown-up like this, Enid. I'd love to know what you're doing now. I can't help but feel I had some small part in how you turned out. What're you studying? You were always such a smart little girl.
Enid: I'm taking a remedial high school art class for fuck-ups and retards.
Enid: We need to find a place where you can go to meet women who share your interests.
Seymour: Maybe I don't want to meet someone who shares my interests. I hate my interests.
[Seymour can't wait for two mothers and their many kids to cross an intersection]
Seymour: What are we, in slow motion here? C'mon, what are you, hypnotized? Have some more kids, why don't you.
Seymour: You think it's healthy to obsessively collect things? You can't relate to other people, so you fill your life with stuff... I'm just like all these other collector losers.
Enid: [Enid is reading a note clipped to her diploma] What?
Rebecca: What?
Enid: These assholes are saying I have to go to summer school and take some stupid art class.
Rebecca: Why?
Enid: God, I didn't think that just because you get an "F" you have to take the whole class over again.
Rebecca: [snickering] Loser.
[Enid is looking at the racist logo of Cook's Chicken, formerly Coon Chicken]
Enid: So, I don't get it. Are you saying things were better then, even though there was stuff like this?
Seymour: I suppose things are better now, but... I don't know. People still hate each other, they just know how to hide it better.
Enid: Hey, look. There's the pants.
[Doug comes into the Sidewinder without a shirt on]
Doug: What's up, Josh? Give me two packs of cigarettes today. Working overtime: Sixteen hours.
[Puts malt liquir bottle on the counter]
Doug: And nature's nectar, wake-up juice. And give me six of these beef jerkys. I'm hungry enough to chew the crotch out of a rag doll.
[Sidewinder Boss spots him]
Sidewinder Boss: Hey. Hey. How many times do I have to tell you? No shirt, no service. Get the hell out of my store. What do you think this is, Club Med?
Doug: It's called America, dude. Learn the rules.
Sidewinder Boss: "Learn the rules?" No, YOU learn the rules. We Greeks invented democracy.
Doug: You also invented homos.
Sidewinder Boss: Fuck you.
Doug: You wish. You gotta buy me dinner first.
Doug: Rock n' roll, baby: Freedom of speech.
[on a comedian billed as the weirdest man in show biz]
Enid: If he's so weird, why is he wearing Nikes?
Enid: It's not like I'm some modern punk, dickhead. It's an obvious, 1977 original punk rock look. I guess Johnny fuckface over there's too stupid to realize it.
Rebecca: I didn't really get it either.
Enid: Everyone's too stupid.
[observing Seymour's order from across the diner]
Enid: Oh my God. He just ordered a giant glass of milk.
Josh: ...That's a vanilla milkshake.
[after seeing Seymour just miss hitting a truck]
Enid: Oh my god. It's him. He's insane.
Rebecca: We should follow him home.
Seymour: Well, I have to admit that things are really starting to look up for me since my life turned to shit.
Angry Garage Sale Woman: How much for this dress?
Rebecca: God, I can't believe you're selling that.
Enid: That's $500.
Angry Garage Sale Woman: What?
Enid: 500.
Angry Garage Sale Woman: You're crazy. It should be like $2.
Enid: I was wearing that dress when I lost my virginity.
Angry Garage Sale Woman: Why do I care?
Enid: Well, why do you want it? I mean, it would look stupid on you anyway.
Angry Garage Sale Woman: God. Fuck you.
Dana: I am so excited to see this movie. Dustoff Varnya is such a brilliant director. Did you see his last film, "The Flower that Drank the Moon"? It was simply glorious!
Seymour: I guess I must have missed that one. But then what do I know. I like Laurel and Hardy movies.
Dana: Really? I never really cared for those. I mean, why does the fat one always have to be so mean to the skinny one?
Roberta: That piece is entitled "Mirror, Father, Mirror." I like to show it to people that I'm meeting for the first time because I feel it says so much about who I am and what it feels like to inhabit my specific skin.
[at their High School graduation, Enid and Rebecca encounter Melorra, an incredibly cute and annoying classmate]
Melorra: Oh my God. We have to get together this summer.
Enid: [Deadpan] Yeah... That'll definitely happen.
Enid: Josh.
Rebecca: Josh.
Enid, Rebecca: Josh!
Enid: God, I'll bet he's in there jerking off.
Rebecca: I'll bet he never jerks off.
Enid: Yeah, he's beyond human, and stuff like that.
Rebecca: Should we leave him a note?
Enid: Sure. You got a pen?
[Rebecca pulls out a pen, Enid takes it]
Enid: [writing] Dear Josh, we came by to fuck you, but you were not home. Therefore... you are gay. Signed Tiffany, and Amber.
Melorra: Oh my god, you guys. We actually made it!
Enid: [Deadpan] Yeah. We graduated high school. How... totally... amazing.
Enid: Wow, look at me. I'm not even listening to a word you're saying.
John Ellis: You know, you never paid me for that Indian dance routine tape.
Enid: Yes I did.
John Ellis: You Jews are so clever with money.
Enid: Fuck you. Stupid redneck hick.
Soda Customer: Hi, can I get a medium 7-Up?
Enid: ...Medium? Why sir, did you know that for a mere 25 cents more you can purchase a large beverage? And you know... I'm only telling you this because we're such good friends: Medium is really only for suckers who don't know the concept of value.
Enid: Look at this.
Rebecca: What?
Enid: Is Stacy Himmler going out with Rod Harbaugh.
Rebecca: Oh, God. How perfect.
Enid: He better watch out or he'll get AIDS when he date-rapes her.
[pretending to hold up Starbucks in a Catwoman mask]
Enid: Gimme all your money, bitch!
Rebecca: God, I'm so sick of Seymour.
Seymour: Let the machine get it, I have no desire to talk to anyone who might be calling me.
Enid: By the end of the summer you're going to be up to your neck in pussy.
Enid: Are you into girls with big tits?
Seymour: As long as she's not a complete imbecile and she's even remotely attractive.
Phillip: It's a really great video game about a guy who kills people with a big hammer.
Roberta: Oh. I thought it was supposed to be your father.
Enid: How come all that time I was trying to get you a date you never asked me out?
Seymour: You're a beautiful girl, I couldn't imagine you'd have any interest in me except as an amusingly cranky eccentric curiosity.
Enid: Just list your five main interests in order of importance.
Seymour: I'm gonna have to put traditional jazz, blues... and then ragtime at the top of the list.
Enid: Right, so let's just say music, that way we only use up one.
Enid: Josh, he's nobody's boyfriend, he's just this guy that Becky and I like to torture.
Enid: How can you stand all these assholes
Rebecca: Some people are ok, mostly I just feel like poisoning everybody.
Reggae Fan: You guys up for some reggae tonight?
Graduation Speaker: High school is like the training wheels for the bicycle of real life. It is a time for young people to explore different fields of interest and to hopefully learn from their experiences. In coming to terms with my own personal setback, I've learned that I don't need to rely on drugs and alcohol, and that I'm very lucky that more people besides myself and Carrie weren't injured in the accident. And I've learned that to overcome life's obstacles you need faith, hope and, above all, a sense of humor.
Roberta: [in Art Class, the teacher is asking about their homework: create a piece of art that responds to something you have strong feelings about. She spots a wire sculpture made from two coathangers] Who is responsible for this?
Snotty Girl - Art Class: I am.
Roberta: Talk to us about it...
Snotty Girl - Art Class: It's my response to the issue of a woman's right to choose... it's something I feel super-strongly about.
Enid: Are all these records?
Seymour: I've got about 1500 78's at this point. I've tried to pare down my collection to just the essentials.
[Enid and Seymour enter the Sidewinder to see Josh scooping some ice cream for a little girl]
Enid: Hi, Josh.
Josh: Hi.
Enid: Just stopping by to say "hi".
Josh: Yeah.
Enid: [motions to Seymour] This is my friend, Seymour.
[Josh recognizes Seymour and drops the ice cream. The little girl starts crying]
Enid: Okay. Well, we'll see you later Josh.
[Enid and Seymour exit]
Sidewinder Boss: Josh, what you goddamn doing? Clean up that fucking mess! Jesus!
Masterpiece Video Customer: I'm looking for a copy of 8 1/2.
Masterpiece Video Clerk: Yessir! Is it a new release, sir?
Masterpiece Video Customer: No, it's the classic Italian film.
Masterpiece Video Clerk: Let me look that up on the computer for you, sir!
[fiddles with computer]
Masterpiece Video Clerk: Yes, here it is - 9 1/2 Weeks with Mickey Rourke. It's in our "Erotic Dramas" section.
Masterpiece Video Customer: No, not "9 1/2", 8 1/2, the Fellini film.
Masterpiece Video Clerk: I'll check that for you sir. How do you spell the actor's name - F-I-L-E-E-P-E-E...?
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