Stu Miley:
Excuse me kitty. I'll be right back after I choke my monkey!
Stu Miley:
The woman I love is living with a horny little monkey that looks like me.
Kitty:
What a lucky girl!
Monkeybone:
I left my number in your undies!
Hypnos:
I can't believe it, we give him a body and he sends us dogs?
Kitty:
Let's not think about dogs... Let's think about pussycats...
Julie:
It looks so... new.
Stu:
Well that's because it is new!
Julie:
But the heirloom - your grandmother's ring...
Stu:
What? You want a used ring?
Stephen King:
How about that nightlight I asked you for?
Edgar Allen Poe (to King):
King You Pussy!
Stephen King:
Bite me Poe!
Doctor:
[
while in a van chasing a runaway possessed corpse] Wait! We're doctors! We don't want to hurt you, we just want some organs!
Stu Miley:
So how long have you been in here?
Steven King:
25 Years. I steal the golden ticket and Cujo gets to use it.
Organ Donor Stu:
What is wrong with my neck?
Doctor:
You broke it, you're an organ donor!
Monkeybone:
No I wasn't in a coma! Alright I was in a coma but it wasn't like I was IN A COMA and goofing off, I was thinking up hilarious new bits the whole time!
Stu:
So I thought what the hell I'm a big celebrity now, I can get all the chicks I want. Why get married? But on the other hand if you are married, no more stink eye. Plus they can't testify against you.
Herb:
Testify about what?
Monkeybone:
Ladies and Gentlemen, forget about the naked man with the purple face.
[
Stu goes into a phone booth to call the authorities and report the car crash, unaware that a large red pipe loosened by the crash is starting to tilt over towards the booth]
Julie:
[
sees the pipe start to move] Stu!
[
Stu turns around a waves to her, then turns bck to the phone as the pipe starts to fall]
Julie:
[
screams] STU!
[
Stu waves at her again, and the pipe falls on the booth, putting Stu in a coma]
Death:
[
sitting at the controls of a tower monster] I do like to dress up when I come down town. So, how was she?
[
meaning Julie]
Stu Miley:
[
standing on the monster's right hand] She was... she was beautiful. Of course I was decomposing at the time but... at least now she knows how much I love her.
Monkeybone:
[
looking nervous] Uh, excuse me, Death... I hate to break up this little love test, but my little bladder is about to burst.
[
Death pulls a lever, and the hand Monkeybone is on swings over Stu]
Monkeybone:
[
screams] BUT I'VE *REALLY* GOTTA GO!
[
the hand covers Stu, then rises off him revealing Monkeybone has disappeared]
Stu Miley:
[
feeling his head] Where, where's Monkeybone?
Death:
Back in your head where he belongs. I don't wanna hurt your feelings Stu, but on your own you're a tad vinilla, so I didn't want to send you back without him.
Stu Miley:
[
surprised] You're wha... did you? You're sending my *back*?
Death:
[
sure] Yes. I'm sending you back.
Stu Miley:
Thank you. Death...
Death:
I like you. I'll take the South Park guys instead I hear they're dying to meet me.
[
chuckles]
Death:
Come on Stu. Turn round.
Stu Miley:
[
turns around] Like this?
Death:
Yeah, uh-huh.
[
looks up]
Death:
Stu, little higher.
[
Stu steps higher up the palm, and the other hand comes up behind him]
Death:
See ya!
[
the finger springs off the the thumb, sending Stu back]
Doctor:
[
racing towards the Ambulance with other doctors carrying the loaner body and Stu's body] Excuse me! That's our corpse. We've been chasing him all over town.
Ambulance Driver:
[
sitting in the driver seat] Help yourself pal.
Doctor:
[
pulling the cover off the loaner body] All right smart-ass you prepare to co-operate now?
[
Stu sits up, scaring the doctors]
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