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The chupacabra, according to this mockumentary, is a mysteriouscreature that has been killing and eating Hispanic goats in LatinAmerica and Mexico for years. One has crossed the border intosouthern Texas, and a cute, intrepid cryptozoologist (no, I did notmake up that word) go to an isolated ranch to find one. Her unclewas killed by the creature, and some grainy video footage of themonster exists. She takes a badass black guy with a gun and twocameramen (for easy-to-edit coverage), and they go ahuntin' forchupacabras. Ten minutes into the film, they find it.The rest of the film has the team of documentarians gettingattacked by the bloodthirsty monster, and stilted dialogue. At onepoint, the team runs into a couple of hottie witches who lead themto the chupacabra's nest...for $100. If only the FBI knew about howcheaply Tex-Mex witches could be bought as informants. Wholedecades of mythical beast reports could be cleared up with ablank check.In the end, after the bloody deaths of characters you don't give agoat's patoot about, a chupacabra is captured, killed, andautopsied. The only point of the autopsy scene is to highlight themakeup department's efforts in such a cheap film.The film is shot on video, just like "BWP," yet the cameramancharacters never reload their tapes or recharge their camerabatteries. The lead actress here is awful. The beauty of theaverage "BWP" was its use of improvisation during the production.Here, all the lines are written, and are delivered like a poorlyrehearsed Christmas pageant.The film is tinged with racism, as well. The only African-Americanhere is a loudmouthed gun nut. At one point, as the crew breaksinto an abandoned house, they find a trio of illegal immigrants whocomically ask them if they are from the INS. Chortle, chortle.The monster itself is a guy in a rubber suit, and nothing more. Forsuch a lumbering and awkward beast, he is able to sneak up onthe cast pretty quietly, whether they have idiotically lockedthemselves in a giant cage as bait, or cannot seem to get theironly vehicle started.The gore is gruesome, but when surrounded by this kind ofstupidity, it loses all of its effectiveness. I do not know if this wasshot before or after "BWP," but I can honestly say this is the worstfilm ever made in southern Texas about a mythical beast. Praythere are not any sequels, I will start a letter writing campaign toTroma.This is rated (R) for strong physical violence, gun violence, stronggore, and profanity.
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