[
confronting Jude about her pregnancy]
Frank:
Do you know if it's a boy?
Otis:
What do you care? You have a son.
Frank:
Or a girl! I'm just asking!
Mamie:
Nothing says "I love you" like blackmail.
Jude:
What's the matter? Boy trouble?
Otis:
Fuck you, Jude!
[
on Gil and parenting]
Pam:
You would have been a great dad.
Gil:
We tried. It wasn't meant to be.
[
testing out his new video equipment]
Nicky:
Oh, wow. You look really pretty if I stand far away and I use the zoom.
Mamie:
Thank you.
[
finding out that Charley lied about Gil being sick]
Diane:
You miserable little faggot.
Charley:
Oh, that's mature. Homophobe much?
Mamie:
[
to Javier] He thinks you're the American hero, making depressed women everywhere feel good.
[
to Alvin and Bill on Otis being gay and a drummer]
Miles:
Why do think he's a drummer? So he can stare at our asses all night.
Mamie:
I'm not pro-life, though.
Jude:
Who is, once you start to pay attention?
Mamie:
Who raised you?
Jude:
Hey, do you guys mind if I ask you something?
Alvin:
She's not in rehab for drugs. It's just booze. Plus, she's a vomiter.
Miles:
A fat vomiter, which is fucking useless.
Jude:
No... just, why is Otis the leader?
Nicky:
I thought we had a moment there.
Jude:
[
singing] How lucky am I?
Javier:
[
during a massage] This is what you need. This is why you paid.
Mamie:
[
stammering] Well, it was... it was a gift certificate.
Jude:
We're breaking up.
Otis:
What?
Jude:
Look, I'm not gonna screw you *and* your dad.
Lane:
I hear Jude fucked you over. Me too. I'm Lane.
Frank:
Otis's girlfriend?
Lane:
No one told me. I already have a boyfriend. Rick. Asshole.
Jude:
I think your Dad's home. You totally owe me, dude. He doesn't think you're a 'mo anymore.
[
as he pulls his shirt on]
Otis:
Hey, I am not gay.
[
pointing to the bed]
Otis:
Hello?
[
Jude turns on his TV, revealing a gay porn video]
Jude:
You "hello".
Gil:
She wouldn't lie.
Charley:
She's a mother. It's a sick, sick bond. Think of yours; think of mine. It's unwholesome.
Narrator:
When you're a gay man, you have to feel good about yourself when a urologist says, 'Yeah. I pick you.'
Jude:
What's going on?
Nicky:
He knows you're just after his money. And I told him what you had over me, and he doesn't care that I'm gay.
Frank:
I care, I care, of course I care. It's not good news.
Related Links
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