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Deadly Lessons (2006)

The Legend of Simon Conjurer (original title)
A mysterious college professor becomes the focus of a murderer investigation when he is framed by his rival, Dr. Crazx, a Pulitzer prize winning psychiatrist.

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(as Q. Mark)
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Cast

Credited cast:
...
Dr. Crazx
...
Ammath
...
Lulu
...
Rebel
...
Tears
Rest of cast listed alphabetically:
...
Crime Scene Cop (as Shane Allen)
Kaylin Arason ...
Ally
Ethan Avery ...
Young Ammath
Wyatt Christopher ...
Hospital Orderly
Bill Collard ...
Platehead (as William F. Collard)
Benjamin Crick ...
Scorpio's Grandad
Montana Davidson ...
Sally
Christian Ducal ...
Reporter 1
Christian Ducale ...
Young Reporter
Emma Ehm ...
Little Lulu
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Storyline

A mysterious college professor becomes the focus of a murderer investigation when he is framed by his rival, Dr. Crazx, a Pulitzer prize winning psychiatrist.

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis

Taglines:

Sometimes the road to enlightenment can be a deadly course

Genres:

Action | Thriller

Motion Picture Rating (MPAA)

Rated R for language, some sexuality and nudity | See all certifications »
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Details

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Release Date:

24 March 2006 (USA)  »

Also Known As:

Deadly Lessons  »

Box Office

Budget:

$30,000,000 (estimated)
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Technical Specs

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| (35 mm version)
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User Reviews

 
The most horrible piece of trash i've ever seen....and i loved every minute!
8 June 2006 | by (United States) – See all my reviews

I went into this movie based on the expectation that the movie would have the most ridiculous plot, poorly written characters, an amazingly bad story and terrible acting......and let me tell you, it met EVERY expectation AND MORE! If you love terrible cinema, then run, don't walk, leap over giant obstacles, head butt old ladies, do anything it takes, just SEE this movie.

The movie is about a man named Simon Conjurer that also may or may not be Jesus incarnate, we don't know...but what we DO know is that his long flowing hair did more acting throughout the movie than he did.

Simon Conjurer runs a class that helps people get over their problems or vices. Problems such as over-eating, depression and homosexuality. That's right, homosexuality IS a problem guys.

Conjurer takes the class on an adventure where, one by one, they all have a "realization moment" where they remember something in their past that triggered their current problems. The flash-back's are, quite simply, hilariously bad.

All the while, the class is also being chased by the evil Dr Crazx, a role which will surely ruin Jon Voight's career if seen by the general public. He plays an obsessed chocoholic that may or may not be a homosexual as well. He is horrendous in the movie (at least it has consistency in its putrid nature!)

The movie has no surprises at all, other than the continuing surprise that you'll have at every inept frame that is up on screen. All technical aspects, from editing, lighting, sound design, score, etc, are laughably bad. If you watch the making of Documentary, the director states right at the beginning that "I have no idea how to direct a movie....this should be fun!".....we can tell Mr. Q. Mark, we can tell.

To sum it up, go see this movie before it disappears forever. And laugh your heart out at the absurdity that is The Legend of Simon Conjurer.


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