Memorable quotes for
Epic Movie (2007) More at IMDb Pro »

White Bitch: Behold, my white castle.
[she points to a White Castle restaurant across from them]
Edward: White Castle? I feel like I've been there before.

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Willy: Who wants to play with Willy?

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Peter: I want flabby grandma arms!

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[as the White Queen pulls up in her turbo sled]
Edward: Whoa, Stifler's mom!

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Lucy: Holy shit, a talking beaver!

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Willy: Children, do you wanna know what makes all my candy taste so special?
Edward: Uh-huh.
Willy: It's a special secret ingredient. It's real human parts. There's gonna be a little itty bitty piece of each and every one of you inside of the yummy yum candy, literally.

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Edward: A chocolate river! Mmm! Mmm! Chocolate! Hahahaha!
Willy: That's actually the sewer line.

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Lucy: [Reading a hidden message on a painting] "So lame the hair of Tom"
[Looks toward a painting a Tom Hanks with his long hair in "The Da Vinci Code"]
Lucy: Wait. "Lame." "Lame" is a - "Lame" is a seven-letter word.

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Peter: [Talking about the frozen White Bitch] We will create a democratic society, and give her a fair trail, and...
Captain Jack Swallows: [Jack Swallows come rolling by on the wodden wheel and runs over the Bitch]
[In the distance]
Captain Jack Swallows: Take that, Bitch!
Peter: [pauses] Ah, screw her anyways.

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Lucy: I'm sorry, was the fight over?

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Kanye West Look-Alike: [while Lucy is viewing the camera from Mr. Tumnus] The White Bitch doesn't care about black people.

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Peter: We have something the White Bitch doesn't.
Lucy: Perky breasts?

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Edward: [in his old age] Chuck Norris rules.

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Samuel Jackson Look-Alike: I have had it with these goddamn snakes on this goddamn plane!
Susan: Oh, I know, please help!
Samuel Jackson Look-Alike: I have had it with these goddamn snakes on this goddamn plane!
Susan: I know...
Samuel Jackson Look-Alike: I have had it with these goddamn snakes on this goddamn plane!
Susan: Why do you keep saying that?
Samuel Jackson Look-Alike: Because internet bloggers love when I say, "I have had it with these goddamn snakes on this goddamn plane!"
Susan: Why are you yelling?
Samuel Jackson Look-Alike: Shut up, bitch! I'm always yelling! I'm Samuel Goddamn Jackson!
Susan: [Shocked] Bitch?
["Samuel Jackson" grabs Susan and throws her from the plane]

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[first lines]
Narrator: This is the story of four orphans brought together by fate. They didn't know it yet, but there was something more greater in store for them, something epic.

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Lauren Conrad: Nice hair, Rogue.

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[Peter removes his jacket and wing straps]
Cyclops: He's unleashing his powers!
Storm: He's gonna spread angel wings!
[Peter clucks like a chicken and turns around showing his small-sized wings on his back]
Mystique: More like chicken wings!
Magneto: Break it up. Break it up. You all know Peter is too much of a pussy to stand up for himself.

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Silas: [to White Bitch, in subtitles] Beat me like Bobby beats Whitney! Allegedly.

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Harry Potter: Welcome! My name is Harry Potter!
Lucy: Aren't you a little old to be still a student here?
Harry Potter: Nonsense. I am but 14.

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White Bitch: This crystal will finally put an end to the resistance. I will start a series of earthquakes that will collapse all of Gnarnia and grow a new continent where onlyI and my followers will live.
Bink: Yo, Bitch, that's pretty much the plot of Superman Returns.
White Bitch: Pretty much, yeah.

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White Bitch: [holding crystal] Let's start things off with a bang, shall we?
Edward: But you'll kill millions.
White Bitch: Billions. Come on. Let me hear you say it.
Edward: My family will stop you!
White Bitch: WRONG!

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Magneto: We'll stand behind you, Peter. That bitch has threatened our mutant way of life for too long. We believe in you.

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Bink: [stabs Edward] Take that, Kumar!

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Silas: [to Aslo] I'm gonna go Jackie Chan on your ass!

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Harry Beaver: May I present the kings and queens of Gnarnia! Peter the Heroic. Susan the Just. Edward the Loyal. And Lucy the Dumb Shit.

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Peter: [while urinating in the snow] Look! Nicole Richie!
[camera shows a stick figure with hair]

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[last lines]
Borat: Jagshemash! You did it! You make moviefilm have happy ending.
[Captain Jack Swallows comes on his wheel and runs Lucy, Peter, Susan and Edward over]
Borat: NOT!

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Nacho Libre: NACHO... cheese Doritos are delicious!

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White Bitch: God, I hate those fuckin' kids

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Peter: Badonkadonk.

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Peter: Monobrow! Monobrow!
[clapping excitably]
Peter: King wants a monobrow!

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Susan: [Lucy is cleaning doorknob] What are you doing?
Lucy: Willy told me he wanted his knob polished.
Susan: Dumbass.

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Peter: We may not have the numbers on our side or the weapons she possesses, but we have something far more powerful.
Lucy: Perky breasts?

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Ashton Kutcher Look-Alike: Yeah! We just punked Edward. *Shwam!* That was awesome.

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