[
from trailer]
Niko Bellic:
We're all looking for that special someone.
[
from trailer]
Gordon Sargent:
So you're in, big guy? Or are we gonna have to kill ya?
Niko Bellic:
Well, since you put it that way... I'm in.
[
from trailer]
Brian O'Toole:
My name is Brian O'Toole. I wanted to fight the War on Terror, but I don't read so good. Most careers were closed to me. That's why I joined the LCPD. Now I'm on the front lines, helping tourists and fighting terrorists. I rifle through people's bags on the subway to protect freedom. I arrest protesters at political conventions for straying outside the free speech zone. Being a cop used to be about stopping crime. Now, thanks to politicians, it's about fighting terrorists, one old lady at a time. I'm protecting freedom, whatever the cost. I'm a hero, and I know it.
Richard Bastion:
You've gotta trust me here, I-I've been fined a lot for talking about the size of my penis. I mean, it is closely shaped to a-a tennis ball container. I'm just gonna leave it at that.
Man:
[
when his car is hit] No! This is my only car!
Patrick 'Packie' McReary:
What do ya think of Niko, Gracie?
Gracie Ancelotti:
Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.
Patrick 'Packie' McReary:
You're sweet, Gracie.
Man:
[
after Niko honks horn at him or nearly hits him with a car] Did you see? Reptilian death ray! It's gotta be!
Man:
Oh no, they done kill another truth-seeker!
Man:
[
when Niko hits a bum] I'm gonna kick your ass then I'm gonna french kiss ya!
Niko Bellic:
I'll rip your fucking heart out!
Niko Bellic:
God bless this city!
Niko Bellic:
[
when drunk and hailing a cab] Yellow car!
Elizabeta Torres:
Everyone's a rat!
Niko Bellic:
Not me.
Ileyna Faustin:
[
about Mikhail Faustin] He did not used to be like this. When we were young, at home, he was beautiful. He was happy. He made me happy. But then something changed. Years ago. I never quite knew what it was. So many years I wondered what it was, or what was wrong with me that I did not see it in him, or I changed him.
Niko Bellic:
Life is complicated. I... I never thought I'd live like this.
Ileyna Faustin:
No?
Niko Bellic:
When the war came, I did bad things, but after the war I thought nothing of doing bad things. I killed people, smuggled people, sold people.
Ileyna Faustin:
And you don't worry about your soul?
Niko Bellic:
After you walk into a village and you see 50 children, all sitting neatly in a row, against a church wall, each with their throats cut and their hands chopped off, you realize that the creature that could do this doesn't have a soul.
Ileyna Faustin:
God is very complicated. You mustn't give up hope.
Niko Bellic:
Well, I don't know about that.
Vladimir 'Vlad' Glebov:
You remember Ivan?
Niko Bellic:
No.
Vladimir 'Vlad' Glebov:
[
shows picture] This guy.
Niko Bellic:
Oh, yes. You guys had a little kiss.
Vladimir 'Vlad' Glebov:
Very funny. What would you see if I told he was going to rob your cousin?
Niko Bellic:
I'd say: What problem does he got with my cousin?
Vladimir 'Vlad' Glebov:
[
phone rings] Hold on.
[
answers phone]
Vladimir 'Vlad' Glebov:
Hey. Hey, gorgeous, no. I can't talk right now. What are you wearing? Listen, I'll you back.
[
to Niko]
Vladimir 'Vlad' Glebov:
Sorry.
Niko Bellic:
Who was that?
Vladimir 'Vlad' Glebov:
Never you mind.
Niko Bellic:
Was it Ivan?
Vladimir 'Vlad' Glebov:
Oh, that's funny. You know, for a damn yokel you're a very funny guy.
Niko Bellic:
[
laughing] Yes. And for an annoying dick, you're really an annoying dick.
Vladimir 'Vlad' Glebov:
Well, it is a shame then that I am the guy with the powerful friends, and you are the little punk who's only friend is a fat weasel who drives a fucking cab!
Gracie Ancelotti:
[
as Niko kidnaps her] I'll scratch your fuckin' eyes out!
Niko Bellic:
Scratch my fuckin' balls, bitch!
Niko Bellic:
You know what? It's cool. Get someone else. I'll see you later.
Ray Boccino:
Woah, woah, woah. Are you fucking kidding me?
Niko Bellic:
No! I keep doing these favors for you and you pay shit. I need this for you. A guarantee that you will find this man! I know he is in this city. So either you give me your word or you can go fuck yourself. I'm sick of this shit!
Niko Bellic:
Welcome to America.
Roman Bellic:
I don't want to die, man! Not like this!
Niko Bellic:
How would you like to die?
Roman Bellic:
Having a threesome on my hundredth birthday? I don't fucking know, you cold bastard!
Man:
[
after Niko crashes into a car] What the fuck?
Brucie Kibbutz:
Do you wanna learn something, or do you wanna make fun?
Niko Bellic:
Make fun.
Mohammad:
Get in quickly, you head-dick.
[
When Niko crashes his car]
Roman Bellic:
You drive like you are drunk.
Mohammad:
I see you are taking a break from romancing every animal in the zoo to abuse the generosity of your cousin.
[
after the end credits]
Niko Bellic:
So this is what the dream feels like? This is the victory we longed for.
Niko Bellic:
[
after being insulted by Brian] You're a dick!
Brian Meech:
I'm a rich dick, friend. I'm young. I'm rich. And I'm loaded. You know what?
[
Takes out $100 and hands it to Niko]
Brian Meech:
Have a hundred dollars, on Uncle Sam. Benjamin Motherfucking Franklin. Freedom!
[
Walks away]
Brian Meech:
This coke is okay!
Female:
[
from "The Suburbs" commercial; moody] How was your day, dear?
Male:
[
depressed] Boring. I wanna die.
Female:
Whatever. You promised you mow the yard today.
[
First lines]
Dave Bosoy:
Daddy's back, you bitches... Daddy's back, you bitches!
Dimitri Rascalov:
You know, if there is one thing that I have learned, it is that we must obey the rules of the game. We can pick the game, Niko Bellic. But we cannot change the rules.
Jimmy Pegorino:
The world is a cunt!
[
to Niko]
Vladimir 'Vlad' Glebov:
People who fuck with me get fucked WITH!
Niko Bellic:
Minkov is dead. The country is safe.
United Liberty Paper:
Not by a long-shot smartass.
Roman Bellic:
Niko, you're a bitch!
Related Links
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