Hank Moody:
[
upon getting fellatio from a nun] Sweet baby Jesus, Hank is going to hell.
Hank Moody:
Yo K-Fed, the little man on the boat he's up here, that's where he is, right here.
[
makes V symbol and dirty tongue motion towards top]
Becca:
Father?
Hank Moody:
Daughter?
Becca:
Can I ask you something?
Hank Moody:
Anything, my love.
Becca:
Why is there a naked lady in your bedroom?
Hank Moody:
You wait right there okay?
Becca:
There's no hair on her vagina. Do you think she's ok?
Hank Moody:
I'll check.
Hank Moody:
So, not only are you a cadaverous lay, you also have shitty taste in movies.
[
Hank and Mia had a one-night stand]
Karen Van Der Beek:
This is Mia, Bill's daughter, and this is Hank. You two know each other?
Hank Moody:
No.
Mia Gross:
Well, I do recognize you.
Hank Moody:
No.
Mia Gross:
Yeah, sure I do.
Hank Moody:
No.
Mia Gross:
From your book. Your picture is on the back.
Hank Moody:
[
to Meredith] Now you're giving me that look, right now, look like I fingerbanged your cat.
[
about Hank]
Becca:
Don't yell at him!
Karen Van Der Beek:
I'm not going to yell at him... much.
Hank Moody:
What?
Karen Van Der Beek:
You smell like pussy.
Hank Moody:
Thank you.
[
to Karen]
Hank Moody:
Oh, I know that look. That's the look that shrivels me testes.
Hank Moody:
I was just trying to have a little chat with your husband up there.
Nun:
Is there something I can help you with?
Hank Moody:
Oh no, I don't want to bother a real live person about it.
Becca:
So, who won that round?
Hank Moody:
Oh, it's not whether you win or lose, it's how you play the game.
Becca:
Looks like a fun game.
Hank Moody:
You think I made her laugh?
Becca:
Sure. A little. On the inside.
Becca:
'Yellow Submarine'?
Hank Moody:
'Pirates'.
Becca:
Again?
Hank Moody:
Johnny Depp is hot.
Karen Van Der Beek:
Well, Bill and I never touched each other till we were dead and buried.
Hank Moody:
Okay, are you trying to make me throw up now?
Mia Gross:
Hey, that was really cool what you did tonight, it's nice to see some good old fashion family values in this morally bankrupt city of ours.
Hank Moody:
That's me, I'm all about the family values.
Mia Gross:
What happened to your eye?
Karen Van Der Beek:
Yeah what did happen to your eye, Hank?
Hank Moody:
Well, you should see the other guy.
Mia Gross:
I hope she doesn't press charges.
Hank Moody:
It was not a "she", it was a "he", the other guy.
Mia Gross:
Right, or whatever I'm off to bed, good night. It was nice to meet you, Hank.
Hank Moody:
Nice to meet you, too.
[
last lines]
Karen Van Der Beek:
I was just fucking with you.
Hank Moody:
Good bye.
[
first lines]
Hank Moody:
[
to Jesus] Hey, big guy, you and me. We've never done this before but desperate times call for desperate measures. My name is Hank.
Nun:
Hello, Hank.
Related Links
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