[
first lines]
Nina Ferraro:
How do you feel about taking another human being's life?
Andy Devereaux:
Well, like my daddy always said, it's better o be judged by 12 than carried by six.
Andy Devereaux:
The Big Easy ain't so easy anymore.
Andy Devereaux:
What are you doing in my park? You know me... no walking on the grass, no pissing on the trees and no dealing.
Stan Johnson:
[
after surviving a shootout] That was lucky.
Andy Devereaux:
Not for Downey Little.
Stan Johnson:
[
to Ferraro] Look, except for our task force, the department is a laughingstock, all right? It's gonna get worse before it gets better. We got gangs from all around the country circling this city like a pack of fucking rabid dogs. Guys like Andy and me, we're all that stands between people like you and the end of the motherfucking world.
Pepe:
What the fuck is that?
Barney:
It's fucking Santa Claus up ahead.
Barney:
[
to Ray Delacroix] What, did you steal Santa's sleigh?
Pepe:
Barney, can't you feel it? Oh, Barney, this is the best part. I can feel his soul cutting right through me.
Stan Johnson:
Stop chasing your sister through the house. If she hurts herself, I'm gonna knock you out.
Barney:
We identified ourselves as police and he just opened fire. That's right.
Capt. John Friendly:
Why would he do that?
Barney:
Check your toxicology reports. That motherfucker was so high, he was coming in for landing.
Agent Brown:
Captain, your department is fucking legendary... suspects beaten, short counts on drug deals, cocaine that never makes it to the evidence locker.
Capt. John Friendly:
Have you got any evidence to back that up?
Agent Brown:
More than you know.
Andy Devereaux:
I had a snitch the night before last finger Ray Delacroix. I wanted to talk to him.
Pepe:
It's too late for that, unless you want to call Psychic Friends Hotline.
Andy Devereaux:
I'm not asking, I'm telling... you're gonna help me find out what I would have, had you not smoked him.
Pepe:
You didn't hear? Lincoln freed the slaves. I don't do your heavy lifting.
Fernando Chamorro:
New Orleans is ready, open for the taking.
Sweatdrops:
We have to establish who's in charge.
Fernando Chamorro:
[
armed Latin Kings enter the room] You mean, like a vote?
[
he and his thugs shoot down and kill all the gang leaders]
Fernando Chamorro:
I guess the ayes have it.
Pepe:
Delacroix, that motherfucker, forgot he was a puppet. Now he rocks the flowerbed.
Barney:
I feel like I'm riding with fucking Edgar Allan Poe.
Stan Johnson:
[
upon seeing the bodies of the gang leaders] Looks like someone took out the trash.
Stan Johnson:
Look, I don't want to get shot, all right?
Andy Devereaux:
Stan, chill. The bad guys don't aim. That's why they shoot the wrong people.
Stan Johnson:
They don't need to aim with the kind of firepower they got in there.
Jambalaya Jake:
[
to Chamorro] I got a little something for you in there. Go handle your business, man. But don't kiss it.
Nina Ferraro:
And if another man came through that door right now pointing a gun at my head, what would you do?
Andy Devereaux:
I'd shoot him. And you'd thank me.
Andy Devereaux:
[
to Brown] Now I'm not a lawyer, but I do have a rough idea how this kind of thing works. And I'm telling you, doing you a favor here, that your strategy will not fly. You gotta take criminals out of jail to testify against us. You will have conceded that these criminals were wrongly convicted. Once you get these criminals out of prison, the first thing they're gonna do is hire other criminals called lawyers and they're gonna sue the city for millions... all this based on allegations of one lying con man cop. Your only shot of convicting us of anything is by turning a second cop, and that's not likely. Only dirty cops will, and they usually don't live long enough to testify. The rule of thumb in the drug world where there's this much money is that there's always law-enforcement corruption... dirty cops, dirty DEA, dirty CIA, dirty FBI. But you won't make the cops the scapegoats.
Andy Devereaux:
I didn't know there was a crime 'cause I didn't know you guys stole. I didn't know she was a wit 'cause I didn't know you guys committed a crime. And I don't want a share 'cause I don't steal.
Pepe:
Let me see if I get your version of the Commandments here, Charlie. So you're saying that stealing is bad, but what you do, which is lying and beating people and killing them and letting witnesses go 'cause you want to fuck 'em... that's good? You're like the idiot version of the Bible, you dumb fuck Moses!
Agent Brown:
This place is a bit of a dump.
Fernando Chamorro:
Cops raided my crib, cabron. Any idea how many men I lost?
Agent Brown:
You want a tissue?
Pepe:
So I guess calling for backup's out of the question.
Andy Devereaux:
There's gonna be plenty of police here real soon.
Stan Johnson:
Yeah, when they show up to arrest us.
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