Three buddies wake up from a bachelor party in Las Vegas, with no memory of the previous night and the bachelor missing. They make their way around the city in order to find their friend before his wedding.
When their new next-door neighbors turn out to be a sorority even more debaucherous than the fraternity previously living there, Mac and Kelly team with their former enemy, Teddy, to bring the girls down.
Months after John's divorce, Ted and Tami-Lynn's marriage seems on the same road. To patch things up, Ted and Tami-Lynn plan to have a child with John's help, but their failed efforts backfire disastrously. Namely, Ted is declared property by the government and he loses all his civil rights. Now, Ted must fight a seemingly hopeless legal battle with an inexperienced young lawyer to regain his rightful legal status. Unfortunately, between Ted's drunken idiocies and sinister forces interested in this situation to exploit him, Ted's quest has all the odds against him. Written by
Kenneth Chisholm (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Sam asks, "Who's Gollum?" because she's "pop culture illiterate". However, Sam knows F. Scott Fitzgerald, so she should be well-read enough to know who Gollum is from the book version of Lord of the Rings. See more »
[a library full of semen samples falls over John, spilling everything]
Oh, I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry!
We are so sorry!
Well I guess it's alright - those are the rejected sickle cell samples.
Did you hear that, Johnny? You're covered in rejected black guy sperm. You look like a Kardashian.
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Liam Neeson returns to the grocery store battered and bruised and returns his ruined box of Trix. See more »
Wow, well that was truly disappointing. First of all I want to mention that I have watched the extended cut which adds around 10 minutes more of tediousness (no pun intended), and I honestly would have picked the shorter version had I known how bad and boring this movie is.
To be honest, one could tell that the ride is not going to be a fun one after having to endure the opening credits dance sequence which is strikingly reminiscent of that of the Family Guy, only it is almost 3 minutes long. Clocking at around two hours, the extended Ted 2 is full of exhausting moralizing cliché talks about how the legal system is supposed to treat everyone equally, "protagonists going somewhere" montages (and some other montages, like "protagonists prepare for a court hearing"), unmemorable dialogues, unfunny pot jokes, more unfunny jokes unrelated to pot (an added bonus is Mark Wahlberg covered in fake semen. At least I think that it's fake. Maybe.) and occasionally, about once in 40 minutes, gags that actually provoke some laughter. And those gags are not nearly hilarious enough to justify sitting through all the monotony in between.
I truly liked the first Ted. I found "A million ways to die in the west" to be inferior, but still enjoyable. This one, however, dropped the bar so low you can see the rock bottom from here, gotta hope that the trend with Seth Macfarlane's movies' quality turns around. The last line of Ted 2 is "hashtag Sh*t Happens". That is quite ironic, as it is a fairly accurate description of this movie's creation.
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