5.4/10
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17 user 20 critic

The Night Watchmen (2017)

Three inept night watchmen, aided by a young rookie and a fearless tabloid journalist, fight an epic battle for their lives against a horde of hungry vampires.

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(story by), (story by) | 4 more credits »
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9 wins & 4 nominations. See more awards »
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Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
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Ken
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Luca
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Jiggetts
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Karen
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Randall
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Willy
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Penny
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Stacy
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Barney
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Rick
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Alpha Vampire
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Matt
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Pooky's Dad
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Storyline

Three inept night watchmen, aided by a young rookie and a fearless tabloid journalist, fight an epic battle to save their lives. A mistaken warehouse delivery unleashes a horde of hungry vampires, and these unlikely heroes must not only save themselves but also stop the scourge that threatens to take over the city of Baltimore. Written by The Night Watchmen

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Taglines:

Let's Go Kill Some Dead People! See more »

Genres:

Comedy | Horror

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Release Date:

4 March 2017 (USA)  »

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2.35 : 1
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Did You Know?

Trivia

When you can see the lettering "The Night Watchmen" it shows the skyline of the City of Cologne in Germany. See more »

Quotes

Margaret: Why are dead people eating people?
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User Reviews

 
What do you call a horror comedy that isn't funny or scary?
29 April 2017 | by See all my reviews

Another reviewer here has compared this to Return of the Living Dead. That is nuts. Return of the Living Dead had an incredibly solid and witty script and actors with the charisma and talent for humor to back it up, as well as some excellent effects for its time. This movie has none of that.

There are a few minor chuckles in here, I'll give it that much credit, but nothing worth sitting through the rest of this. The effects are standard generic low budget horror level. The actors aren't that bad, but they aren't good enough to make this derivative, lukewarm script enjoyable. Now, I'm not going to be so dramatic as to claim that this is one of the worst movies I've ever seen, I've seen much worse than this, but this is still nothing more than a regretful waste of time unless you have really low standards when it comes to horror and/or comedy.

You want a horror comedy about vampires in an office building? Go watch Bloodsucking Bastards (2015) instead. That one's actually funny and enjoyable.


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