Change Your Image
Upload An Image
Crop And Save
The Other Woman (2014)
Unfunny, Bad Acting, Template Pap
First, saw it free which was the only saving grace about this movie. I thought it was going to be funny based on the reviews. What I failed to consider was the aptitude of the reviewers! The theater was primarily women that giggled at every stupid nuisance and sounded like the canned laughter from Lavern and Shirley...I think you get my drift. Upton can not act in any form. She danced liked she did in high school and maybe that was the extent of her acting. I suggest, if she does another movie, perhaps she should audition for the remake of a remake of "The Fifty Foot Woman" because that should be a big broad, with an overrated big body, with guys hips, just like Upton has. And the rest of this ridiculous movie was just that, ridiculous! I suggest you go see anything else instead of seeing this. Save your money! If you get in free as I do, then catch a nap. You'll be much,much better off!
This Is the End (2013)
Pap-Rubbish. Pure, Inane Garbage!
Walked out on this garbage. Had no idea real people would stoop this low. Teenybopper, filthy humor that wasn't funny except for the derelicts in the audience. Ridiculous plot, written by those who have no concept of a life here after or what the scriptures say. I'm not caring about anything biblical, this movie was just pure inane pap. I only wish I would've got up and left sooner. I left about the time the devil was banging the short, fat actor. I was offended. I didn't laugh. And if I can save just one person from wasting money on this waste of celluloid, it will have been a very worthy undertaking...that and hoping my '1' score will help drop the '8.1' down lower because I swear, this is not higher than a '2'. Promise! (I just wish too, I hadn't paid for this waste, it wasn't at where I do get in free.)
Spring Reunion (1957)
Spring Reunion Sprung a Leak_And Sunk
There's a reason there is only 4 or 5 reviews of this odd, stupid movie. It's because it's odd and stupid! Is this movie the actual cause of Dana Andrews and Betty Hutton's untimely deaths? I think it could be. This movie was too anal to even know where to begin how useless and worthless it was! Oh, I so pity the people who went the movies in the 50's to see this rot on screen, paying good money to see it. Let's hope the popcorn was good, right. Or at least, they found romance at the movie. Very bad movie. Senseless. Infantile. That is all. It was so bad, having just watched it on TCM, even Robert Osborne didn't say a word about it when it ended! BTW, my wife just said, "How can anyone review a movie from 1941! and Don't you have anything better to do?" LOL. Well, I suppose I could watch the Jodi Arias trial with her, but I already bet her $50.00 that Arias is going to walk! Why? Because any one idiot on a jury, in our diverse walks of life, can hold our justice system hostage and vote her innocent and because we unfaily require a unanimous decision, she is guaranteed to be freed. (It should be majority to find guilty and unanimous for the death penalty or otherwise, life in prison. That is all :~)
Cash Cow Revisited: Lord Oh Rings 4
What do you get when you have a ton of little gimps running about, always going somewhere and not really ever arriving? Lord of the Rings Four! Oh, and you can bet after an opening weekend of $84 million, there will be plenty more! What's the attraction? I was bored to tears with the first misguided attempts to put the books to screen. All I could see was this...journey. To somewhere. These movies draw an audience, with about a 5th grade intellect and others who are just hungry for any screen entertainment whatsoever or are film enthusiasts like me: They like a dark room away from it all just to enjoy some fresh popcorn (theater yellow salt, no butter.)
The Amazing Spider-Man (2012)
Nothing But a Remake - NBAR! Maybe it was just me, but since the First Spider Man was still modern; still relevant, on the heels of Toby Macguire and Cliff Robertson, WHY did we have to make the same ol thing over again? What: To see if there was an upside down kiss? C'mon! I expected more. The spoilers are...wait! Only everything you saw in the last one! That's all. The kid gets bit on the back by a spider, albeit digital one; Kid meets girl - falls for girl; Uncle gets shot dead; etc., etc. Couldn't they come up with some creative ideas, enough to write a new flippin' story? Like after several Batman movies, we were treated and rewarded with "Batman Begins"! as a great example. This spider movie version, because of the disappointment of watching the same old plot lines, makes this nothing but a quick spin, with a few new faces and a few changes with story and villain -- this ends up being nothing but a 'cash cow' for the production executives and all y'all have fallen right into their trap. Yes, true. Me too...except I got in free.
Rock of Ages (2012)
It's Fun. It's a Musical. It's Rock & Roll!
Consider the musical "Across the Universe" and how Beatles songs and lyrics were used to build a premise embedded in a love story. "Rock of Ages" takes a similar story line and take some of our most enduring rock songs from the age of vintage rock & roll; rock anthems we know and love to tell us a fun for all frolic of a by gone era. Some of the songs that I didn't really like -- most I did mind you -- add to the story being told and suddenly didn't seem as distasteful as they were when I actually heard them on the radio. Indeed, for the first time, some of the lyrics actually seemed to make sense. I liked it. Cruise takes a dare and succeeds! He could've decided the part was beneath him, after remaking his brand in the last 'MI'. While Julia Hough needs to work on line delivery, the rest of the cast successfully just 'roll with it'. It's predictable and that's okay because it was never meant to be anything more than it is. Just enjoy - don't think. 'Ages' is a fun salute of our rock experiences with some of our trademark rock and roll songs that shaped our upbringing and lives. 'Ages' will settle in over time as a music testament of our coming of age past, our soul and salute to our rocking past. Go see it! Sit back and enjoy!
The Hunger Games (2012)
Teeny bopper haven! Take an idea, dumb it down for teens, include inane plot points and wha laa - you have all the ingredients for a teeny run on the movies. Hunger takes an interesting idea and it isn't long after the whistle sounds, with multiple kids getting killed right out of the starting block, they start banding together in an extremely inexplicable plot point - since all have to die but one - so why are they all buddy-buddying up to the bully of them all? WHY didn't the screenwriters have a bit of originality and having the weakest of those take out the big favorite and thereby create a great twist to the plot? Where was the fear of them losing their own lives around that small group banned together trying to take out Katniss? Just bad. And how do they keep changing the rules nearing the end, when the rules presumably had been the same, as they were instructed in the beginning -- for the past 74-freaken years! They grouped up together reminiscent to the 'Lord of the Flys'. This is an extremely ho-hum plot that will appeal to the high school kids who now will be caught up in the euphoria and the frenzy to see it twice, also picking up those more challenged, out-of-the-loop nerds and emo's from school who didn't go this weekend. I give it 4 out of the kindness of my heart and am so glad I saw it for free!
A Thousand Words (2012)
Good Message_Destroyed in Lousy Movie Presentation
Wow. So stupid. Blowing leaves 'out cho mouth'. Should've blown em' out his...well you get the push back here to such a stupid movie. Nothing wrong with the message - the importance of family really only thing that matters - over money and success, but so completely, painfully, ridiculously demonstrated in a non sensical plot idea and childish, unfunny Murphy-mannerisms that really pushes ones limits in not walking out on this...bad, and I mean pap-bad movie presentation. The ending makes the point about these important things of life, but getting there is about as painful of a movie watching experience that you'll suffer for quite some time. Note too, that I didn't resort to being too cruel here and completely sarcastic, like one might feel as revenge for watching this movie. This movie simply does not deliver.
Jack and Jill (2011)
Jacked to the Hilt! DON"T SEE!
It literally is AWFUL. I don't know, I seem to always confuse Stiler with Sandler, when I don't see one of Sandler's movies for a long time, then pay dearly! I mean payment in waste of time, unfunny skits, fart jokes and generally Sandler doesn't get it. Yea, I know, he continues to make money, but this movie is the worst of the year. Promise! Now, even though I get in free, we were passing time till we'd see "J. Edgar." While we didn't lose money, I got so frustrated because this pap was wasting my time by being so completely unentertaining, I even had difficulty in saying, "Well, at least we didn't have to pay for it!" No, I STILL felt cheated. What a total waste of theater space, not to mention the out of place, stupid cameos at the twins birthday party that falls flat. Go see ANYTHING else!
One Day (2011)
Ridiculous just Ridiculous: One Wasted Day!
Absurd plot. Total Junk. Contrived love. Weak plot to the point of being inane! So, these two people meet on July 15th. Have a so-so relationship at best and all of a sudden, they're best friends deciding to meet on that day every year. Sounds weird, right? What about the other 364 days, over the next 21-bloody years? What about the other day to day relationships, interpersonal situations, struggles, challenges, obstacles that hits those dealings with reality-mortality -- which is all of us? What's the big deal about one lousy kiss on the sidewalk? The one missed opportunity to ball the old lady? (Didn't she say in the movie when they first met, when she graduated that she was 40-years old? If I heard that right, that makes this old broad (and Hathaway in real life) like 60 when she drives the bike out into the street from a blind alley, without looking! Really! Okay, you get it. I give this lousy movie a 2 because I'm feeling generous. At least Hathaway was fully deserving as a candidate for this year's "Darwin Awards" had it been based on a true story, which thankfully, there's no way in 'heck' this could ever possibly happen to any two people that ever existed on this planet. What's worse? I had to actually pay admission to see this pap!