Movies to recommend to people you hate

by michaeldwaynedias | created - 06 Feb 2018 | updated - 09 Apr 2018 | Public

Ever hate someone so much, but can't punch them in the face or set them on fire 'cause it's "illegal" or whatever? Fear not. You can recommend one of these movies to them and do the same damage

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1. Shortbus (2006)

Not Rated | 101 min | Drama, Romance

64 Metascore

A group of New Yorkers caught up in their romantic-sexual milieu converge at an underground salon infamous for its blend of art, music, politics, and carnality.

Director: John Cameron Mitchell | Stars: Sook-Yin Lee, Peter Stickles, PJ DeBoy, Paul Dawson

Votes: 30,584 | Gross: $1.99M

Hands down the worst movie I've seen to date. It sucks d***. Literally. Like there's an actual uncensored scene of men sucking each other off. Also, bizarre uninteresting storyline, ugly cinematography, incredibly despicable/unlikable characters. 1/10. If I could rate this movie lower I would.

2. The Tree of Life (2011)

PG-13 | 139 min | Drama, Fantasy

85 Metascore

The story of a family in Waco, Texas in 1956. The eldest son witnesses the loss of innocence and struggles with his parents' conflicting teachings.

Director: Terrence Malick | Stars: Brad Pitt, Sean Penn, Jessica Chastain, Hunter McCracken

Votes: 157,294 | Gross: $13.30M

Seriously. What the hell was this movie supposed to be about. I'm still scratching my head. Almost half the film is obscure footage of nature. If I wanted to watch shots of nature I would watch a legitimate documentary from which I could actually learn something. The only thing I learned from this movie is not to watch movies made by this s*** director. Awful, massive waster of time. 1/10

3. Two Night Stand (2014)

R | 86 min | Comedy, Romance

45 Metascore

A snowstorm forces two people who made an online connection to unwillingly extend their one-night stand as the blizzard goes through the night.

Director: Max Nichols | Stars: Miles Teller, Analeigh Tipton, Jessica Szohr, Kid Cudi

Votes: 61,101 | Gross: $0.02M

Ugghh. It pisses me off so much that movies like this are still being made. I think you'd have to have an IQ below 40 to enjoy this. And I love Miles Teller btw, but this was his rock bottom for sure.

4. Natural Born Killers (1994)

R | 118 min | Crime, Drama

74 Metascore

Two victims of traumatized childhoods become lovers and psychopathic serial murderers irresponsibly glorified by the mass media.

Director: Oliver Stone | Stars: Woody Harrelson, Juliette Lewis, Tom Sizemore, Rodney Dangerfield

Votes: 201,819 | Gross: $50.28M

Bad, bad movie. Seriously bad directing, awful characters, overall repulsive

5. The Bling Ring (2013)

R | 90 min | Biography, Crime, Drama

66 Metascore

Inspired by actual events, a group of fame-obsessed teenagers use the internet to track celebrities' whereabouts in order to rob their homes.

Director: Sofia Coppola | Stars: Katie Chang, Israel Broussard, Emma Watson, Claire Julien

Votes: 78,198 | Gross: $5.84M

... what. really Emma Watson why did you this to yourself

6. American Assassin (2017)

R | 112 min | Action, Thriller

45 Metascore

After the death of his girlfriend at the hands of terrorists, Mitch Rapp is drawn into the world of counterterrorism, mentored by tough-as-nails former U.S. Navy S.E.A.L. Stan Hurley.

Director: Michael Cuesta | Stars: Dylan O'Brien, Michael Keaton, Sanaa Lathan, Taylor Kitsch

Votes: 59,066 | Gross: $36.25M

Please stop making movies like this.

7. Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay (2008)

R | 104 min | Adventure, Comedy

57 Metascore

After being mistaken for terrorists and thrown into Guantánamo Bay, stoners Harold and Kumar escape and return to the U.S., where they proceed to flee across the country with federal agents in hot pursuit.

Directors: Jon Hurwitz, Hayden Schlossberg | Stars: John Cho, Kal Penn, Neil Patrick Harris, Rob Corddry

Votes: 125,478 | Gross: $38.09M

The first one was bad already, somehow they managed to make a sequel which is infinitely worse. Did not laugh once. May not be as bad as Shortbus or The Tree of Life, but it is definitely the worst excuse for a comedy film I have ever seen. Nevertheless, 1/10.

8. Kids (1995)

Unrated | 91 min | Drama

63 Metascore

A day in the life of a group of teens as they travel around New York City skating, drinking, smoking and deflowering virgins.

Director: Larry Clark | Stars: Leo Fitzpatrick, Justin Pierce, Chloë Sevigny, Sarah Henderson

Votes: 68,409 | Gross: $7.42M

*facepalm*

9. Kidnap (2017)

R | 95 min | Crime, Drama, Thriller

44 Metascore

A mother stops at nothing to recover her kidnapped son.

Director: Luis Prieto | Stars: Halle Berry, Sage Correa, Chris McGinn, Lew Temple

Votes: 29,565 | Gross: $30.72M

I'll come right out and say it - Halle Berry is a bad actress! To make things worse, this movie is so horribly cliche and uninteresting. It also disappoints me that this movie is not even that old - I thought thrillers were supposed to get better and better over time! How wrong was I

10. The Shallows (2016)

PG-13 | 86 min | Drama, Horror, Thriller

59 Metascore

A mere 200 yards from shore, surfer Nancy is attacked by a great white shark, with her short journey to safety becoming the ultimate contest of wills.

Director: Jaume Collet-Serra | Stars: Blake Lively, Óscar Jaenada, Angelo Josue Lozano Corzo, Joseph Salas

Votes: 109,027 | Gross: $55.12M

BORING. I do like Blake Lively though, she's a good actress and stunningly beautiful. 2/10

11. Highwaymen (2004)

R | 80 min | Action, Crime, Horror

49 Metascore

Rennie Cray (Caviezel) embarks on a bloodthirsty rampage to avenge the death of his wife who was struck down by a serial killer - a man who hunts and kills women using his '72 El Dorado.

Director: Robert Harmon | Stars: Jim Caviezel, Rhona Mitra, Frankie Faison, Colm Feore

Votes: 8,078 | Gross: $0.37M

Classic 2/10. There are a few mildly interesting scenes but overall it was boring and very poorly written

12. The Open House (2018)

TV-MA | 94 min | Horror, Thriller

A teenager and his mother find themselves besieged by threatening forces when they move into a new house.

Directors: Matt Angel, Suzanne Coote | Stars: Dylan Minnette, Piercey Dalton, Patricia Bethune, Sharif Atkins

Votes: 25,955

Why????!?!?!?! Why does this movie exist??? If these are the kinds of movies we're expecting to see this 2018, then we're in for a very bad year for cinema. 1/10.

13. Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist (2008)

PG-13 | 90 min | Comedy, Drama, Music

64 Metascore

High school student Nick O'Leary, member of the Queercore band The Jerk Offs, meets college-bound Norah Silverberg when she asks him to be her boyfriend for five minutes.

Director: Peter Sollett | Stars: Michael Cera, Kat Dennings, Aaron Yoo, Rafi Gavron

Votes: 85,214 | Gross: $31.49M



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