Pandora's Box of Trashby Grauminz | created - 04 Jul 2018 | updated - 3 months ago | Public
A couple of years ago my friends decided to search out some really trashy-looking Movies, put them in a box and give me the whole package as a birthday present. This, of course, kick-started a series of evenings where we would get together and watch these incredible cinematic atrocities, eventually delving into similar movies that weren't contained in the original collection. These are our findings.
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R | 86 min | Comedy, Horror, Sci-Fi
A college student creates a drug called "Z" and sells it on campus, inadvertently resurrecting the living dead, who wreak havoc at a Halloween rave.
A fun Zombie flick which uses the self-awareness of its own stupidity quite well to deliver a lot of pretty enjoyable scenes.
2. Jennifer's Body (2009)
R | 102 min | Comedy, Horror
A newly possessed high school cheerleader turns into a succubus who specializes in killing her male classmates. Can her best friend put an end to the horror?
Votes: 109,607 | Gross: $16.20M
While this is definitely one of the better-looking movies on this list, at least in terms of cinematography and general visual quality, it doesn't really bring anything noteworthy to the table and ends up being unfunny, uncreative and really boring.
3. Dragonball Evolution (2009)
PG | 85 min | Action, Adventure, Fantasy
The young warrior Son Goku sets out on a quest, racing against time and the vengeful King Piccolo, to collect a set of seven magical orbs that will grant their wielder unlimited power.
Votes: 67,697 | Gross: $9.35M
This movie is everything you'd expect from a western live-action adaptation of this Series. Dumb, entertaining, over the top action and stilted, awkward character 'development' in the guise of a movie which occasionally tries to throw in random elements from its source material. Glorious.
4. Black Past (1989 Video)
85 min | Horror
Tommy finds a cursed mirror and a diary in an attic in the new house they moved in. The mirror starts to give Tommy horrible and gruesome visions as his crush keeps rising from the dead.
The first movie of german apparently-pioneer of gory special effects, Olaf Ittenbach. Setting the very boring and poorly constructed 'plot' of the first half aside, the second half really manages to impress with the quality of its extremely gory and bloody scenes, especially for a movie of this caliber, having quite the small budget and being mostly self-made by Ittenbach.
5. Dark Heritage (1989)
94 min | Horror
Reporter Clint Harrison is sent to investigate a massacre at a Louisiana campground and finds that it may be linked to the Dansen clan an old local family thought to have died out years ago.
7. The Nest (1988)
R | 89 min | Horror, Sci-Fi
Horrifying shocker as a biological experiment goes haywire when meat-eating mutant roaches invade an island community, terrorizing a peaceful New England fishing village and hideously ... See full summary »
8. Ghost Keeper (1982)
R | 89 min | Drama, Horror, Thriller
Three friends on a New Year's Eve snowmobiling excursion find themselves stranded at an abandoned lodge where the elderly female innkeeper is concealing a sinister secret.
Honestly, I don't really remember a thing about this one, aside from the fact that we had a blast watching it. Should I watch it again to confirm this vague memory? Probably. Will I watch it again? Probably not.
9. Evilspeak (1981)
R | 97 min | Horror
An outcast military cadet taps into a way to summon demons and cast spells on his tormentors through his computer.
'Evilspeak' is quite the embodiment of this whole list. It's trashy, it's 80s, it's boringly slow-paced yet hilariously written and just very nonsensical in general.
10. Soulkeeper (2001)
R | 105 min | Action, Adventure, Comedy
Two thieves down on their luck get hired to steal the Rock of Lazarus, an ancient relic capable of returning evil souls to earth.
This movie is the only one on this list that I actually rated 10/10 just for the fun of it, solely because the german dub is so hilariously unprofessional that it managed to elevate the watching experience to quite the new level of entertainment. Other than that, it's still dumb fun.
12. Horror Hospital (1973)
R | 90 min | Comedy, Horror, Sci-Fi
Two British companions who met on a train heading to the rural countryside stay with a bizarre host of characters in a secluded, curious mansion. Unknown to them, there is a sinister secret behind closed doors.
Ah, what a time capsule. Another really good one, even if only due to its dated effects, hilarious editing and cheesy acting. A certain scene involving a car and a buzzsaw had us howling with laughter.
13. Curfew (1989)
R | 82 min | Crime, Drama, Thriller
Two escaped brothers track down the people who sentenced them to death row, including a doctor and the judge. But when they get to the D.A. and his family they have an especially lengthy revenge plot in mind for them.
14. Night Train to Terror (1985)
R | 98 min | Horror
God and Satan are on a train discussing the fate of three individuals. The stories of the people in question are told in a trio of very strange vignettes. One involves an insane asylums ... See full summary »
To be honest, I'm not too sure about this one. It's bad, obviously, but I really liked the premise and general idea behind this story, despite its obvious cheesiness. Unfortunately, it's just too long and clumsily structured. It just keeps going on and on while simultaneously not going anywhere, sadly making the final, very intense moments frustrating to bear.
15. The Devil's Rain (1975)
PG | 86 min | Horror
A satanist cult leader is burnt alive by the local church. He vows to come back to hunt down and enslave every descendant of his congregation, by the power of the book of blood contracts, in which they sold their souls to the devil.
Hey, this one has John Travolta's first movie appearance! And somehow William Shatner? Interesting, to say the least.
16. The Intruder Within (1981 TV Movie)
Unrated | 91 min | Horror, Sci-Fi
Drillers on an oil rig near Antarctica discover that they have accidentally brought up several prehistoric eggs. One egg hatches and becomes an unstoppable creature. Chad Everett and Jennifer Warren risk their lives to stop it.
17. Flesh for the Beast (2003)
R | 89 min | Fantasy, Horror
Six parapsychologists investigate a reputed haunted mansion and are set upon by three flesh-eating succubus ladies under the control of the sinister warlock owner bent on finding a mysterious amulet to give himself more power.
18. Ticks (1993)
R | 85 min | Horror, Sci-Fi
A group of troubled teenagers are led by social workers on a California wilderness retreat, not knowing that the woods they are camping in have become infested by mutated, blood-sucking ticks.
19. Piranha (1995 TV Movie)
R | 89 min | Horror, Sci-Fi
The private investigator Maggie McNamara from Lyon Investigation is hired by the wealthy J.R. Randolph to find his niece that has disappeared with her boyfriend. Maggie seeks out the lonely... See full summary »
20. Absurd (1981)
Not Rated | 90 min | Horror
A priest-doctor chasing a man with supernatural regenerative abilities, who has recently escaped from a medical lab, reaches a small town where the mutant goes on a killing spree.
The initial fun we had with this one mostly came from the fact that the back of the DVD described a plot that had *nothing* to do with this one; it was referencing another movie (that other movie apparently being this one's predecessor, which we obviously didn't know at the time). As for the movie itself, it's one of the most poorly edited and even censored Horror Movies I've ever seen.
21. The Terror Within II (1991)
R | 90 min | Horror, Sci-Fi
In a post-apocalyptic world full of terrifying mutants known as gargoyles, survivors of the last human colony battles against intruding gargoyles a few miles below the Earth's surface.
23. The Sword and the Sorcerer (1982)
R | 99 min | Action, Adventure, Fantasy
A mercenary with a three-bladed sword rediscovers his royal heritage's dangerous future when he is recruited to help a princess foil the designs of a brutal tyrant and a powerful sorcerer in conquering a land.
Votes: 5,328 | Gross: $39.10M
This one is just glorious. A fantasy flick from the early 80s that somehow manages to be surprisingly entertaining.
24. Pumpkinhead (1988)
R | 86 min | Fantasy, Horror
After a tragic accident, a man conjures up a towering, vengeful demon called Pumpkinhead to destroy a group of unsuspecting teenagers.
Votes: 18,909 | Gross: $4.39M
26. Dead Alive (1992)
R | 104 min | Comedy, Horror
A young man's mother is bitten by a Sumatran rat-monkey. She gets sick and dies, at which time she comes back to life, killing and eating dogs, nurses, friends, and neighbors.
Votes: 88,468 | Gross: $0.24M
What can I say? An impressive, brainless gorefest that luckily ends just before it's getting too redundant. What a ride.
27. Night Terrors (1993)
R | 98 min | Horror
A young girl travels to Cairo to visit her father, and becomes unwillingly involved with a bizarre sadomasochistic cult led by the charismatic Paul Chevalier, who is a descendant of the ... See full summary »
28. Alien vs. Ninja (2010)
80 min | Action, Comedy, Fantasy
A comet crashes into a Japanese forest and a group of mighty ninjas must fight a group of killer Aliens before they reach their village and kill everyone.
29. Family Saga (2006 Video)
75 min | Comedy, Horror
30. Familienradgeber 2 (2009)
71 min | Comedy
31. There's Nothing Out There (1991)
Unrated | 91 min | Comedy, Horror, Sci-Fi
When a horror film buff tries to warn his friends of impending danger during March Break, they scoff at him, that is, until sinister things begin to happen.
33. Vampirella (1996 Video)
R | 82 min | Action, Fantasy, Horror
Vampirella, a sexy vampiress in a skimpy costume, travels from Drakulon to Earth to seek revenge on the evil vampires who murdered her father. Adam Van Helsing, leader of a high-tech, ... See full summary »