Awful Movies

by Alphareign | created - 22 Jun 2016 | updated - 1 month ago | Public
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1. Happy Gilmore (1996)

PG-13 | 92 min | Comedy, Sport

31 Metascore

A rejected hockey player puts his skills to the golf course to save his grandmother's house.

Director: Dennis Dugan | Stars: Adam Sandler, Christopher McDonald, Julie Bowen, Frances Bay

Votes: 180,772 | Gross: $38.62M

2. Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997)

PG-13 | 89 min | Adventure, Comedy

51 Metascore

A 1960s secret agent is brought out of cryofreeze to oppose his greatest enemy in the 1990s, where his social attitudes are glaringly out of place.

Director: Jay Roach | Stars: Mike Myers, Elizabeth Hurley, Michael York, Mimi Rogers

Votes: 207,402 | Gross: $53.88M

Spoofing James Bond? How stupid and I am not even a fan of James Bond.

3. Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me (1999)

PG-13 | 95 min | Action, Adventure, Comedy

59 Metascore

Dr. Evil is back and has invented a new time machine that allows him to go back to the 1960s and steal Austin Powers' mojo, inadvertently leaving him "shagless".

Director: Jay Roach | Stars: Mike Myers, Heather Graham, Michael York, Robert Wagner

Votes: 204,114 | Gross: $206.04M

The three best fictional characters who are in intelligence are Jack Bauer, Syndey Bristow, and Ethan Hunt. Austin Powers movies are not funny and are boring.

4. Austin Powers in Goldmember (2002)

PG-13 | 94 min | Action, Adventure, Comedy

62 Metascore

Upon learning that his father has been kidnapped, Austin Powers must travel to 1975 and defeat the aptly named villain Goldmember, who is working with Dr. Evil.

Director: Jay Roach | Stars: Mike Myers, Beyoncé, Seth Green, Michael York

Votes: 184,365 | Gross: $213.31M

5. Twilight (I) (2008)

PG-13 | 122 min | Drama, Fantasy, Romance

56 Metascore

Bella Swan moves to Forks and encounters Edward Cullen, a gorgeous boy with a secret.

Director: Catherine Hardwicke | Stars: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Billy Burke, Sarah Clarke

Votes: 394,836 | Gross: $191.47M

Jesus Christ! Talk about an insult to vampire fans the world over. If the younger generation needs softer vampire fair, they should stick to the House of Night series.

6. Scary Movie (2000)

R | 88 min | Comedy

48 Metascore

A year after disposing of the body of a man they accidentally killed, a group of dumb teenagers are stalked by a bumbling serial killer.

Director: Keenen Ivory Wayans | Stars: Anna Faris, Jon Abrahams, Marlon Wayans, Carmen Electra

Votes: 214,949 | Gross: $157.02M

The Ring movies are beautiful, artistic horror movies. So, I guess some idiots had to spoof them.

7. Unstoppable (2010)

PG-13 | 98 min | Action, Thriller

69 Metascore

With an unmanned, half-mile-long freight train barreling toward a city, a veteran engineer and a young conductor race against the clock to prevent a catastrophe.

Director: Tony Scott | Stars: Denzel Washington, Chris Pine, Rosario Dawson, Ethan Suplee

Votes: 173,156 | Gross: $81.56M

This is proof Hollywood doesn't know anything about trains.

8. Atomic Train (1999– )

PG-13 | 122 min | Action, Drama, Thriller

A train filled with atomic devices threatens to destroy the city of Denver. John Serger (an NTSB agent) has to prevent this from happening

Stars: Rob Lowe, Kristin Davis, Esai Morales, John Finn

Votes: 2,081

More proof Hollywood doesn't know anything about trains.

9. The Godfather (1972)

R | 175 min | Crime, Drama

100 Metascore

The aging patriarch of an organized crime dynasty transfers control of his clandestine empire to his reluctant son.

Director: Francis Ford Coppola | Stars: Marlon Brando, Al Pacino, James Caan, Diane Keaton

Votes: 1,443,906 | Gross: $134.97M

This would also benefit from interesting characters, plot, and story-line. As it is, it's nothing more than beige nothingness. Oh, this will piss some people off.

10. The Godfather: Part II (1974)

R | 202 min | Crime, Drama

90 Metascore

The early life and career of Vito Corleone in 1920s New York City is portrayed, while his son, Michael, expands and tightens his grip on the family crime syndicate.

Director: Francis Ford Coppola | Stars: Al Pacino, Robert De Niro, Robert Duvall, Diane Keaton

Votes: 1,003,723 | Gross: $57.30M

More beige nothingness.

11. The Godfather: Part III (1990)

R | 162 min | Crime, Drama

60 Metascore

In the midst of trying to legitimize his business dealings in New York City and Italy in 1979, aging Mafia Don Michael Corleone seeks to avow for his sins, while taking his nephew Vincent Mancini under his wing.

Director: Francis Ford Coppola | Stars: Al Pacino, Diane Keaton, Andy Garcia, Talia Shire

Votes: 326,152 | Gross: $66.67M

Thankfully, this is the last installment of beige nothingness.

12. Scary Movie 2 (2001)

R | 83 min | Comedy

29 Metascore

Four teens are tricked by their professor into visiting a haunted house for a school project.

Director: Keenen Ivory Wayans | Stars: Anna Faris, Marlon Wayans, Antony Acker, Mark Barrett

Votes: 138,597 | Gross: $71.31M

Spoofs are generally fail movies.

13. Scary Movie 3 (2003)

PG-13 | 84 min | Comedy

49 Metascore

Cindy must investigate mysterious crop circles and video tapes, and help the President in preventing an alien invasion.

Director: David Zucker | Stars: Anna Faris, Charlie Sheen, Regina Hall, Pamela Anderson

Votes: 128,138 | Gross: $110.00M

They keep hitting dead ends.

14. The Island of Dr. Moreau (1996)

PG-13 | 96 min | Horror, Sci-Fi, Thriller

After being rescued and brought to an island, a man discovers that its inhabitants are experimental animals being turned into strange-looking humans, all of it the work of a visionary doctor.

Directors: John Frankenheimer, Richard Stanley | Stars: David Thewlis, Marlon Brando, Val Kilmer, Fairuza Balk

Votes: 29,170 | Gross: $27.66M

You creepy bastards.

15. Scary Movie 4 (2006)

PG-13 | 83 min | Comedy

40 Metascore

Cindy finds out the house she lives in is haunted by a little boy and goes on a quest to find out who killed him and why. Also, Alien "Tr-iPods" are invading the world and she has to uncover the secret in order to stop them.

Director: David Zucker | Stars: Anna Faris, Regina Hall, Craig Bierko, Bill Pullman

Votes: 106,737 | Gross: $90.71M

16. Scary Movie 5 (2013)

PG-13 | 86 min | Comedy

11 Metascore

A couple begin to experience some unusual activity after bringing their lost nieces and nephew home. With the help of home-surveillance cameras, they learn they're being stalked by a nefarious demon.

Directors: Malcolm D. Lee, David Zucker | Stars: Simon Rex, Ashley Tisdale, Charlie Sheen, Lindsay Lohan

Votes: 60,208 | Gross: $32.02M

17. Vampires Suck (2010)

PG-13 | 82 min | Comedy

18 Metascore

A spoof of vampire-themed movies, where teenager Becca finds herself torn between two boys. As she and her friends wrestle with a number of different dramas, everything comes to a head at their prom.

Directors: Jason Friedberg, Aaron Seltzer | Stars: Jenn Proske, Matt Lanter, Diedrich Bader, Chris Riggi

Votes: 44,023 | Gross: $36.66M

18. Resident Evil: Extinction (2007)

R | 94 min | Action, Horror, Sci-Fi

41 Metascore

Survivors of the Raccoon City catastrophe travel across the Nevada desert, hoping to make it to Alaska. Alice joins the caravan and their fight against the evil Umbrella Corp.

Director: Russell Mulcahy | Stars: Milla Jovovich, Ali Larter, Oded Fehr, Iain Glen

Votes: 173,376 | Gross: $50.65M

Except for Extinction and Retribution, I like the Resident Evil movies.

19. Resident Evil: Retribution (2012)

R | 95 min | Action, Horror, Sci-Fi

39 Metascore

Alice fights alongside a resistance movement to regain her freedom from an Umbrella Corporation testing facility.

Director: Paul W.S. Anderson | Stars: Milla Jovovich, Sienna Guillory, Michelle Rodriguez, Aryana Engineer

Votes: 125,278 | Gross: $42.35M

20. Grease (1978)

PG-13 | 110 min | Musical, Romance

70 Metascore

Good girl Sandy and greaser Danny fell in love over the summer. When they unexpectedly discover they're now in the same high school, will they be able to rekindle their romance?

Director: Randal Kleiser | Stars: John Travolta, Olivia Newton-John, Stockard Channing, Jeff Conaway

Votes: 210,914 | Gross: $188.76M

A movie about preppy twats, how wonderful.

21. Titanic (1997)

PG-13 | 194 min | Drama, Romance

75 Metascore

A seventeen-year-old aristocrat falls in love with a kind but poor artist aboard the luxurious, ill-fated R.M.S. Titanic.

Director: James Cameron | Stars: Leonardo DiCaprio, Kate Winslet, Billy Zane, Kathy Bates

Votes: 957,740 | Gross: $659.33M

22. Backdraft (1991)

R | 137 min | Action, Crime, Drama

38 Metascore

Two Chicago firefighter brothers, who don't get along, have to work together while a dangerous arsonist is on the loose.

Director: Ron Howard | Stars: Kurt Russell, William Baldwin, Robert De Niro, Donald Sutherland

Votes: 66,505 | Gross: $77.87M

23. Blade (1998)

R | 120 min | Action, Horror, Sci-Fi

45 Metascore

A half-vampire, half-mortal man becomes a protector of the mortal race, while slaying evil vampires.

Director: Stephen Norrington | Stars: Wesley Snipes, Stephen Dorff, Kris Kristofferson, N'Bushe Wright

Votes: 226,632 | Gross: $70.09M

24. Blade: Trinity (2004)

R | 113 min | Action, Horror, Sci-Fi

38 Metascore

Blade, now a wanted man by the FBI, must join forces with the Nightstalkers to face his most challenging enemy yet: Dracula.

Director: David S. Goyer | Stars: Wesley Snipes, Kris Kristofferson, Parker Posey, Ryan Reynolds

Votes: 155,939 | Gross: $52.41M

25. Now You See Me (I) (2013)

PG-13 | 115 min | Crime, Mystery, Thriller

50 Metascore

An F.B.I. Agent and an Interpol Detective track a team of illusionists who pull off bank heists during their performances, and reward their audiences with the money.

Director: Louis Leterrier | Stars: Jesse Eisenberg, Common, Mark Ruffalo, Woody Harrelson

Votes: 553,628 | Gross: $117.72M

26. Goodfellas (1990)

R | 146 min | Biography, Crime, Drama

89 Metascore

The story of Henry Hill and his life in the mob, covering his relationship with his wife Karen Hill and his mob partners Jimmy Conway and Tommy DeVito in the Italian-American crime syndicate.

Director: Martin Scorsese | Stars: Robert De Niro, Ray Liotta, Joe Pesci, Lorraine Bracco

Votes: 908,153 | Gross: $46.84M

27. The Day the Earth Stood Still (2008)

PG-13 | 104 min | Drama, Sci-Fi, Thriller

40 Metascore

A remake of the 1951 classic science fiction film about an alien visitor and his giant robot counterpart who visit Earth.

Director: Scott Derrickson | Stars: Keanu Reeves, Jennifer Connelly, Kathy Bates, Jaden Smith

Votes: 155,763 | Gross: $79.37M

Yeah, fuck off, ecofascists!

28. Dogma (1999)

R | 130 min | Adventure, Comedy, Drama

62 Metascore

An abortion clinic worker with a special heritage is called upon to save the existence of humanity from being negated by two renegade angels trying to exploit a loop-hole and reenter Heaven.

Director: Kevin Smith | Stars: Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, Linda Fiorentino, Bud Cort

Votes: 198,518 | Gross: $30.65M

What a fucking mess.



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