IMDb Polls

Poll: Touché, Monsieur

"At least, you'll never be a vegetable: even artichokes have heart"

You're probably already familiar with this memorable line from Jean-Pierre Jeunet's Amélie (2001) but did you know that French cinema is full of similarly stinging insults or retorts?

Some of them are more 'general' and aren't deprived of existential poetry while others work on a subtly self-deprecating way, and the rest is so delightfully harsh the only possible answer is, as they say in French, "Touché!".

Which of these French movies' quotes would you most like to use in real life?

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Make Your Choice

  1. Vote!
     

    Monsieur Gangster (1963)

    "Damn fools dare everything. In fact, that's how you spot them"
  2. Vote!
     

    The Counterfeiters of Paris (1961)

    "Trusting honest people is the only risk adventurous professions will ever take"
  3. Vote!
     

    Taxi for Tobruk (1961)

    "Two intellectuals sitting down will never go as far as one simpleton walking"
  4. Vote!
     

    Greed in the Sun (1964)

    "You know, when 260-pound dudes do the talking, 120-pound dudes do the listening"
  5. Vote!
     

    Delusions of Grandeur (1971)

    "The poor is meant to be poorer and the rich richer!"
  6. Vote!
     

    Elle boit pas, elle fume pas, elle drague pas, mais... elle cause! (1970)

    "I've seen phoneys in my life... but you're a synthesis!"
  7. Vote!
     

    The Brice Man (2005)

    "I'm having a party tonight, how would you feel about... not coming?"
  8. Vote!
     

    Pasha (1968)

    "I think when morons will be sent into orbit, you won't stop turning around."
  9. Vote!
     

    We Won't Grow Old Together (1972)

    "Not only are you vulgar, but you're common!"
  10. Vote!
     

    Heartbeat (1938)

    "You're not good at nothing, you're bad at everything!"
  11. Vote!
     

    The Old Guard (1960)

    "If you go as fast as I f--- you, for once you'll be ahead of schedule!"
  12. Vote!
     

    A Monkey in Winter (1962)

    "You're bugging me gently, affectionately, with love... but you're bugging me!"
  13. Vote!
     

    Le père Noël est une ordure (1982)

    "I hate to speak ill of people, but such a nice person indeed."
  14. Vote!
     

    Children of Paradise (1945)

    "Not only are you rich, but you want to be loved as if you are poor."
  15. Vote!
     

    Les bronzés font du ski (1979)

    "I think you and I have the same problem: the point is that we cannot really rely on our looks, especially you."
  16. Vote!
     

    A Monkey in Winter (1962)

    "If stupidity isn't reimbursed by health insurance, you'll end up completely broke"
  17. Vote!
     

    Leontine (1968)

    "A pigeon might be stupider than a dolphin, but at least it flies!"
  18. Vote!
     

    We Won't Grow Old Together (1972)

    "Your only pride is your mediocrity"
  19. Vote!
     

    Four Bags Full (1956)

    "I ignore you, I sweep you off my memory, I wipe you out"
  20. Vote!
     

    Asterix in Britain (1986)

    "There are no fat guys, only one and he's not fat!"
  21. Vote!
     

    Le père Noël est une ordure (1982)

    "Therese isn't ugly, she doesn't have an easy physique, that's all"
  22. Vote!
     

    Garde à vue (1981)

    "Mediocrities resign themselves to the success of exceptional people. They applaud the gifted, the champions, but the success of one of their own exasperates them. It strikes them as an injustice"
  23. Vote!
     

    The Counterfeiters of Paris (1961)

    "If stupidity could be measured, he'd be the yardstick"
  24. Vote!
     

    Four Bags Full (1956)

    "Look how cute he is with his alcoholic face and his rotten flesh! And soft all over, nothing but soft!"
  25. Vote!
     

    The Three Brothers (1995)

    "She's nice... but she's ugly. You're ugly ... and you're stupid too"
  26. Vote!
     

    Cyrano de Bergerac (1990)

    "Of wit, you never had an atom, and of letters, you have three only: they spell Ass!"
  27. Vote!
     

    Ace of Aces (1982)

    "We don't say 'Jewish you look' but 'you look Jewish'. If I tell you 'idiot you look', it's not French. It's true... but it's not French"
  28. Vote!
     

    Auntie Danielle (1990)

    "Go on and cry, you'll pee less!"
  29. Vote!
     

    Pépé le Moko (1937)

    "You look so sneaky you could almost pass as honest"
  30. Vote!
     

    Carom Shots (1963)

    "You're as dumb as an assistant... which makes sense, if you were smarter, you'd be the boss"
  31. Vote!
     

    La grande sauterelle (1967)

    "For all I know, you may not even have a brain and if we looked at your head from above, we'd see your teeth"
  32. Vote!
     

    Leontine (1968)

    "Stupidity at that level becomes embarrassing"

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