Life with Father (1947) Poster

Jimmy Lydon: Clarence Day Jr.



  • Vinnie : Is that suit of your father's too tight for you?

    Clarence Day : No, it's not too tight.

    Vinnie : Well, what is it?

    Clarence Day : Mother, very peculiar things have happened since I started to wear this suit. I can't seem to make these clothes do anything Father wouldn't do.

    Vinnie : Oh, that's nonsense. And not to kneel in church is a sacrilege.

    Clarence Day : Making Father's trousers kneel seemed like more of a sacrilege.

  • Vinnie : Why didn't you kneel in the church today?

    Clarence Day : I... I just couldn't.

    Vinnie : Just because your father doesn't kneel, you must remember he wasn't brought up to kneel in church, but you *were*. Has it anything to do with Mary? I know that she is a Methodist.

    Clarence Day : Oh, no, mother. Methodists kneel, Mary told me. They don't get up and down so much, but they stay down longer.

  • Father : [advising his son on man-woman relationships]  All a man has to do is be firm. You know how some times *I* have had to be firm with your mother.

    Clarence Day : Yes, but father, but what can you do when they cry?

    Father : Hmm... well, uh... that's quite a question. You just have to make them understand that what you are doing is for their good.

    Clarence Day : I see...

    Father : Now, Clarence, you know all about women.

    Father : [stands up to signal the end of the conversation] 

    Clarence Day : But father...

    Father : Yes, Clarence?

    Clarence Day : I thought you were going to tell me about...

    Father : About what?

    Clarence Day : About... women.

    Father : Clarence, there are some things gentlemen don't discuss! I told you all you need to know.

  • Clarence Day : Jiminy, another wreck on the New Haven. That always disturbs the stock market. Father won't like that.

    Vinnie : I do wish the New Haven would stop having wrecks. If they knew how much it upsets your father.

  • Mary : That's funny. The words are the same, but it's the wrong tune.

    Clarence Day : Oh, it can't be the wrong tune. We sing it exactly that way in church.

    Mary : We don't sing it that way in the Methodist Church. You see, we're Methodist.

    Clarence Day : Oh, that's too bad. Oh, I don't mean it's too bad that you're a Methodist. Anybody's got a right to be anything they want, but what I mean is, we're... *Episcopalians*.

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