Life with Father (1947)
Jimmy Lydon: Clarence Day Jr.
Vinnie : Is that suit of your father's too tight for you?
Clarence Day : No, it's not too tight.
Vinnie : Well, what is it?
Clarence Day : Mother, very peculiar things have happened since I started to wear this suit. I can't seem to make these clothes do anything Father wouldn't do.
Vinnie : Oh, that's nonsense. And not to kneel in church is a sacrilege.
Clarence Day : Making Father's trousers kneel seemed like more of a sacrilege.
Vinnie : Why didn't you kneel in the church today?
Clarence Day : I... I just couldn't.
Vinnie : Just because your father doesn't kneel, you must remember he wasn't brought up to kneel in church, but you *were*. Has it anything to do with Mary? I know that she is a Methodist.
Clarence Day : Oh, no, mother. Methodists kneel, Mary told me. They don't get up and down so much, but they stay down longer.
Father : [advising his son on man-woman relationships] All a man has to do is be firm. You know how some times *I* have had to be firm with your mother.
Clarence Day : Yes, but father, but what can you do when they cry?
Father : Hmm... well, uh... that's quite a question. You just have to make them understand that what you are doing is for their good.
Clarence Day : I see...
Father : Now, Clarence, you know all about women.
Father : [stands up to signal the end of the conversation]
Clarence Day : But father...
Father : Yes, Clarence?
Clarence Day : I thought you were going to tell me about...
Father : About what?
Clarence Day : About... women.
Father : Clarence, there are some things gentlemen don't discuss! I told you all you need to know.
Mary : That's funny. The words are the same, but it's the wrong tune.
Clarence Day : Oh, it can't be the wrong tune. We sing it exactly that way in church.
Mary : We don't sing it that way in the Methodist Church. You see, we're Methodist.
Clarence Day : Oh, that's too bad. Oh, I don't mean it's too bad that you're a Methodist. Anybody's got a right to be anything they want, but what I mean is, we're... *Episcopalians*.