The Noose Hangs High (1948)
Ted Higgins: I'd like to have a tooth pulled. I want no anesthetic and I don't care how much it hurts.
Dentist's Assistant: Oh my, what a brave man you are! What tooth is it?
Ted Higgins: [turns to Tommy] Show her the tooth.
Ted Higgins: I'm always nervous when I handle money.
Tommy Hinchcliffe: I'm always nervous when I don't handle it.
Ted Higgins: You take the money. They'd never suspect you.
Tommy Hinchcliffe: I don't want the money. I'd only spend it on silly things.
Nick Craig: Where's my dough?
Tommy Hinchcliffe: It's a long story...
Nick Craig: I don't like long stories.
Tommy Hinchcliffe: You like short ones?
Nick Craig: Yeah.
Tommy Hinchcliffe: We ain't got the money.
Nick Craig: Why, you...
Tommy Hinchcliffe: Too short?
Tommy Hinchcliffe: A guy in a white coat is coming for him and I don't mean the Good Humor man.
Ted Higgins: Is she in the living room?
Hilda, the Maid: No. She's indisposed.
Tommy Hinchcliffe: [starts pushing his way in] We'll see her in there.
Julius Caesar 'J.C.' McBride: Lolly C is off her feed.
Tommy Hinchcliffe: What does she eat?
Julius Caesar 'J.C.' McBride: Her fodder.
Tommy Hinchcliffe: Mr. C! She eats her father? Well, what does her mother eat?
Julius Caesar 'J.C.' McBride: She eats her fodder!
Carol Blair: Let's see, that comes to a sum of...
Tommy Hinchcliffe: I wish I could get some of it back...
Tommy Hinchcliffe: [to the thug holding him up in the air] Put that floor back where it belongs!
Tommy Hinchcliffe: A mounted fish? What whoppers that guy tells! Did you ever see a mounted fish? Did you ever see a fish on a horse?
Julius Caesar 'J.C.' McBride: By the way, how is your mater and pater?
Tommy Hinchcliffe: They're great. They went to the theater with my brater and sater.
Tommy Hinchcliffe: Hiya, toots.
Woman on Street: Don't you dare call me toots, see. I quit the mob 10 years ago and I'm trying to go straight, see. If you guys don't let me alone, I'll get one-eyed Pitsie after you!
Ted Higgins: What if you had 5 dollars in one pant's pocket and 10 dollars in the other pants pocket. What would you have?
Tommy Hinchcliffe: Someone else's pants.
Tommy Hinchcliffe: I like worcester shire sheer shauce.
Ted Higgins: You like what?
Tommy Hinchcliffe: Wooster sheer shire sauce.
Ted Higgins: You like worcestershire sheershire shauce?
Tommy Hinchcliffe: You can't even say it!
Dr. Richards: I'm Dr. Richards, the painless dentist.
[points hand up in the air]
Dr. Richards: Painless!
Tommy Hinchcliffe: Well, I ain't.
Tommy Hinchcliffe: Look at that wall over there. Isn't that a beautiful wall? You know what it reminds me of?
Ted Higgins: What?
Tommy Hinchcliffe: [points at a different wall] That wall over here.
Ted Higgins: Oh stop. Walls are walls.
Ted Higgins: You don't even know what a husband is!
Tommy Hinchcliffe: A husband is what's left of a sweetheart after the nerve has been killed.
Tommy Hinchcliffe: 20 thousand laws in this city and we can't find one to break.
Ted Higgins: Now don't get excited, Tommy. I'll get you out of this mess and get you in jail.
Tommy Hinchcliffe: It's no use crying over spilled milk. It's the nickel back for the bottle that I care about.
Nick Craig: I just want your footprints in the cement.
Tommy Hinchcliffe: Whose going to see our footprints at the bottom of a barrel?
Nick Craig: The little fishies.
Ted Higgins: We'll bet on Lolly at 30 to 1.
Tommy Hinchcliffe: 30 to 1? How can we do that? It's already quarter to!
Dr. Richards: I pulled my first tooth! I'm a dentist!
[jumps up and down]
Dr. Richards: I want a diploma! I want a diploma!
Julius Caesar 'J.C.' McBride: His father is in the pasture and his fodder is in the barn!
Julius Caesar 'J.C.' McBride: There's another reason Lucky George will win. Lucky George is a mudder!
Tommy Hinchcliffe: How can a he be a mother? Ain't a she always a mother?
Julius Caesar 'J.C.' McBride: Sometimes a he is a better mudder than a she.
Tommy Hinchcliffe: How can you tell?
Julius Caesar 'J.C.' McBride: By their feet.