Seven Samurai (1954)
Toshirô Mifune: Kikuchiyo
Kikuchiyo : What do you think of farmers? You think they're saints? Hah! They're foxy beasts! They say, "We've got no rice, we've no wheat. We've got nothing!" But they have! They have everything! Dig under the floors! Or search the barns! You'll find plenty! Beans, salt, rice, sake! Look in the valleys, they've got hidden warehouses! They pose as saints but are full of lies! If they smell a battle, they hunt the defeated! They're nothing but stingy, greedy, blubbering, foxy, and mean! God damn it all!
[He hurls a handful of arrows into the wall]
Kikuchiyo : But then who made them such beasts? You did! You samurai did it! You burn their villages! Destroy their farms! Steal their food! Force them to labour! Take their women! And kill them if they resist! So what should farmers do?
[Kikuchiyo sinks to his knees, and begins to sob uncontrollably]
Kikuchiyo : Damn... damn... damn... damn...
[Kambei unfolds his arms and looks down at the palms of his hands]
Kambei Shimada : [Quietly, after a long pause] You were the son of a farmer, weren't you?
Kikuchiyo : You fool! Damn you! You call yourself a horse! For shame! Hey! Wait! Please! I apologize! Forgive me!
Kikuchiyo : This baby... It's me... It's what happened to me!
Kikuchiyo : [in a drunken stupor] You again. I see that bald head of yours in my dreams. You had the nerve to ask me if I was a samurai. Didn't you, huh? I never forget a face. Look here, though I look like hell, I'm a real samurai, all right. Here. I got something for you. Damn jerks. Looky here.
[He clumsily fumbles around in his robe, and presents a scroll from inside it]
Kikuchiyo : There, just you look at this. It's been handed down in my family for generations and generations. And you asked me if I were a samurai! You jerks. Look at this, just look at this! That's me right there.
[Kikuchiyo unrolls it and points randomly to a part of the scroll]
Kambei Shimada : Kikuchiyo, born on 17 February, the Second Year of Tensho.
[He suddenly bursts out laughing]
Kikuchiyo : What's so damn funny?
Kambei Shimada : You don't look thirteen!
Kikuchiyo : You all make great scarecrows. Problem is, the enemy isn't a bunch of sparrows and crows!
Kikuchiyo : You there, chewing your cud. Can you cut that out? This isn't a cow shed!
Kikuchiyo : Use your balls, if you've got any!
Kikuchiyo : [to Rikichi, who is spending the night in the stable] It's me. I'm sleeping here from now on. Those guys cramp my style.
[Rikichi starts to hurry out]
Kikuchiyo : Stop cowering, you idiot! This is your place! You hand over your house and sleep in a barn and you still can't stand up for yourself! Go back to sleep!
[He grabs the startled farmer and hurls him onto the straw. He lies down on the straw himself, beside Rikichi, with a straw mat over his body for a blanket. He sighs]
Kikuchiyo : Brings back memories.
Kikuchiyo : You again! I see that bald head of yours in my dreams!
Kikuchiyo : Don't mess with me. I may look like hell, but I'm a real samurai!
Kikuchiyo : Hey, everybody. Give your wives plenty of lovin' tonight, you hear?
[Villagers and Samurai laugh]
Kikuchiyo : [as he distributes food to the young children] Does any of you have a cute sister?
[Heihachi playfully pushes at the back of Kikuchiyo's head]
[Kikuchiyo helps Kambei carry the body of the wife away, while he holds the infant]
Kambei Shimada : Let's go!
[He looks back at Kikuchiyo, who is standing in the middle of the river, stunned]
Kambei Shimada : Damn it, what it is it now?
[Kikuchiyo suddenly sinks to his knees, cradling the child]
Kikuchiyo : This baby... It's me. This is just what happened to me!
Gorobei Katayama : Where shall we start our patrol?
Kambei Shimada : The spot that worries us the most, of course.
[Kambei and Gorobei arrive at a campfire near one of the roads, and find Kikuchiyo lying on the ground, his head propped up against a log and his feet resting on another log. He is supposed to be on guard, but is sound asleep. His sword is stuck upright in a pile of logs. Kambei and Gorobei exchange glances as they approach their snoring comrade. Softly Kambei comes forward and takes the sword away. The two hide behind a straw hut. Gorobei throws a rock, which wakes Kikuchiyo with a start. Kikuchiyo scrambles to the pile where his sword had been]
Kikuchiyo : Who's there?
[He feels around for the sword, only to find it gone. He grabs a log from the pile and brandishes it]
Kikuchiyo : Who's there? Come on out!
Kambei Shimada : Kikuchiyo.
[Kikuchiyo whirls around to see Kambei and Gorobei standing behind him]
Kambei Shimada : You're lucky it was us. If it had been the bandits...
[He tosses Kikuchiyo his confiscated Nodachi]
Kambei Shimada : ... You'd be looking for your head.
[Kikuchiyo sinks down to his knees by the fire. He is so ashamed he can't speak]
Kikuchiyo : Got what you deserved, you mud snails.
Kikuchiyo : What are you making?
Heihachi Hayashida : A flag.
Kikuchiyo : A flag?
Heihachi Hayashida : Something to hold up, hoist high, you know? Something to stir our fighting spirit.
[Heihachi presents his design; he has drawn six circles, one triangle, and at the bottom, the Japanese character "ta." Kikuchiyo points to the "ta"]
Kikuchiyo : What do those symbols mean?
Heihachi Hayashida : That means "rice" but it can also mean "farmer".
Kikuchiyo : What about those circles?
Heihachi Hayashida : They're us.
Kikuchiyo : What the hell? Why aren't I there? There's only six of them!
Heihachi Hayashida : The triangle is you, Sir Kikuchiyo.
Shichiroji : Good one!
[the samurai burst out laughing]