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Too Many Crooks (1959) Poster

Quotes

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Billy Gordon: Guten tag.

Swarthy Man: Bonjour.

Billy Gordon: Oh! You're French.

Swarthy Man: No! I am Finnish.

Billy Gordon: Oh, why do you speak French?

Swarthy Man: Finnish is too difficult.

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Billy Gordon: Did you hear that? A tax inspector. Well, he's out for a start. I never want to see him again.

Lucy Gordon: Billy, he's a nice young man and she loves him.

Billy Gordon: Oh, don't be so ridiculous. Nobody loves a tax inspector. They're beyond the pale!

Lucy Gordon: It's a most honourable profession.

Billy Gordon: Honourable? Are you kidding?

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Fingers: Ooh, you told the Inspector some whoppers just now, didn't you, sir? Here, s'posing he wanted to meet your missus? You'd have a bit of a job finding the bits, wouldn't you, sir?

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[Billy Gordon has refused to pay the ransom for his wife]

Sid: What are we supposed to do now? Keep her as a pet?

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Snowdrop: 10,000 pounds! How much is that?

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Fingers: Don't move, I've got you covered.

Billy Gordon: What, is that a space gun then?

Fingers: Huh, oh.

[He puts the flashlight down and points a gun at Billy]

Fingers: One move and I'll shoot you to comdom king.

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Angela: Tommy and I are engaged.

Billy Gordon: What? Well, why didn't you tell me before?

Angela: Well, we couldn't tell you before it happened.

Billy Gordon: Before what happened?

Tommy: Uh, before we were engaged, sir.

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Sid: Is the brake on?

Fingers: Of course!

Sid: Well, take it off, you twerp.

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Charmaine: I thought you were coming by hearse.

Fingers: We changed hearses in mid-stream.

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Lucy Gordon: It's me you're selling, isn't it?

Fingers: Yes, and I shall sell you for any price I like.

Lucy Gordon: Oh no, you won't! Now listen to me you, little squirt!

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Fingers: That swine has ruined my faith in human nature.

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Fingers: A nod is as good as a wink to a blind horse.

Billy Gordon: A nod? What does that mean?

Fingers: That's an old Latin quotation and it means... is this your old woman's nightie?

[He pulls out a nightgown and hands it to Billy]

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Snowdrop: I've never heard of anything more precious than money. Except dollars.

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Billy Gordon: Thank you, your honor, and believe me...

Magistrate: I shan't believe you, Mr. Gordon. Go away. I've seen and heard quite enough of you for one day. Next case, please.

Court Usher: Number 14 on your list, sir... William Delaney Gordon.

[Billy Gordon make his second of three consecutive appearances before the court]

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Billy Gordon: [rejecting a ransom demand for his wife] No, you keep her, old fruit. This is the answer to a bachelor's prayer.

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