101 Dalmatians (1961) Poster

J. Pat O'Malley: Colonel, Jasper



  • Cruella : You idiots! You fools! You imbeciles!

    [bursts out crying] 

    Jasper : Ahhh, shut up!

  • Colonel : [decoding the Twilight Bark]  One long howl... two short... one yip and a woof.

    Seargent Tibs : Two yips, sir.

    Captain : What's the word, Colonel?

    Colonel : It's from London.

    Seargent Tibs : Then it must be important!

    Colonel : Yes, yes, well I'll get the rest of it.

    [barks, listens] 

    Colonel : Sounds like a number! Three fives are thirteen...

    Seargent Tibs : Uh, that's fifteen, sir.

    Colonel : Fifteen, of course fifteen!

    [listens again] 

    Colonel : Yes, dot, spot, spotted puddings... poodles... no, puddles.

    Captain : [confused]  Puddles, sir?

    Colonel : Fifteen spotted puddles stolen? Oh, balderdash!

  • Jasper : Now, you've been gone and done it. You've cut me to the quick, lady. Why, I wouldn't stay here if you asked me to.

    [Nanny tries to throw a teapot at Jasper, but it misses and breaks] 

    Jasper : Not even for a cup of tea.

  • [the pups run past Horace and Jasper while covered in soot] 

    Horace : Look, Jasper. Do you suppose they disguised themselves?

    Jasper : [jokingly]  Say now, Horace, that's just what they did! Dogs is always paintin' 'emselves black!

    [bops Horace on his head] 

    Jasper : You idiot!

  • Pongo : What? 99? Where did they all come from?

    Perdita : What on earth would she want with so many?

    Spotty : She's gonna make coats out of us!

    Perdita : She couldn't!

    Seargent Tibs : That's right. Dog skinned coats.

    Colonel : Oh, dog skinned coats. Oh, come now, Tibs!

    Seargent Tibs : But it's true, sir.

    Patch : Horace and Jasper are going to pop us off and skin us!

    Perdita : She's a devil! A witch! Oh, what'll we do?

    Pongo : We have to get back to London somehow.

    Patch : What about the others? What'll they do?

    Pongo : Perdy, we'll take them home with us. All of them.

    [the puppies start wagging their tails] 

    Pongo : Our pets would never turn them out.

  • Cruella De Vil : I've got no time to argue. I tell you, it's got to be done tonight!

    [Turns off television set] 

    Cruella De Vil : Do you understand? Tonight!

    Horace : But they ain't big enough.

    Jasper : You couldn't get half a dozen coats out of the whole kaboodle.

    Seargent Tibs : [whispering]  Coats? Dog skin coats?

    Cruella De Vil : Then we'll settle for half a dozen!

    Jasper : [Jasper coughs] 

    Cruella De Vil : We can't wait! The police are everywhere. I want the job done tonight!

    Horace : How're we gonna do it?

    Cruella De Vil : Any way you like. Poison them. Drown them. Bash them in the head. You got any chloroform?

    Jasper : Not a drop.

    Horace : And no ether, either.

    Jasper : [Hits Horace over the head with bottle] 

    Jasper : Either!

    Cruella De Vil : I don't care how you kill the little beasts, but do it, and do it now!

    Jasper : Aw, please, miss. Have pity, will you? Can't we see the rest of the show first?

    Horace : We want to see "What's My Crime?"

    [Cruella takes Jasper's bottle causing him to cough and throws it into the fireplace, where it explodes; she slaps both of them in the face] 

    Cruella De Vil : Now listen, you idiots! I'll be back first thing in the morning. And the job better be done or I'll I'll I'll call the police! Do you understand?

    Seargent Tibs : [She slams the door behind her; a piece of plaster falls off the ceiling and on Horace's head] 

    Horace : I think she means it, Jasper.

  • Horace : I don't like it, Jasper. One more pinch, and they'll throw the keys away.

    Jasper : Oh, come off it, Horace. We're getting plenty of bootle.

    Horace : Yes, but I've been thinking.

    Jasper : You've been thinking? Now look here, Horace! I warned you about thinking! I've got the nog for this job, so let's get on with it!

  • Cruella De Vil : Well, any sign of them?

    Jasper : Not so much as a blooming footprint. And we've been up and down every blicking road in the county.

    Horace : We're froze stiff. We're giving up.

    Cruella De Vil : Oh, no, you don't! We'll find the little mongrels if it takes till next Christmas. Now get going! And watch your driving, you imbeciles! Do you wanna get nabbed by the police?

  • [the Colonel and Seargent Tibs are still waiting for Pongo and Perdita] 

    Captain : Any news, Colonel?

    Colonel : No. Not a blasted thing. They're lost or captured, or something or other. Who knows what?

    Seargent Tibs : Colonel, here comes a car!

    Colonel : Oh, come now, Tibs! Don't be ridiculous! They wouldn't be driving.

  • Cruella De Vil : [on the phone with Jasper]  Jasper! Jasper, you idiot! How dare you call here?

    Jasper : But we don't want no more of this here! We want our bootle! We'll settle for half!

    Cruella De Vil : Not one shilling until the job is done! Understand?

    Horace : Jasper! Jasper!

    [shows newspaper] 

    Jasper : [to Cruella]  But it's here in the blinkin' papers! Pictures and all!

    Cruella De Vil : Hang the papers! It'll be forgotten tomorrow!

    Horace : I don't like it, Jasper. I.

    Jasper : [to Horace]  Ahh, shut up, you idiot!

    Cruella De Vil : [shouts]  What?

    Jasper : [to Cruella]  Oh, no! Not you, Miss! I mean Horace, here!

    Cruella De Vil : Why, you imbecile!

  • Jasper : Hey look, Horace! Watch me pot His Lordship smack on the conk!

  • Jasper : I ain't gonna hurt ya.

    Horace : But I thought we was gonna pop 'em off.

    Jasper : Shh, shut up!

  • Colonel : They say the ol' place is haunted or bewitched or some such fiddle faddle.

    Seargent Tibs : Fiddle faddle and rot, sir.

    Colonel : Just the same, Sergeant, use extreme caution. No telling what sort of hocus pocus you might run into.

  • Horace : [Jasper is drinking]  Hey, Jasper! Come on now, give us a swig. Just a short one?

    Jasper : Now Horace, this hogwash ain't fit for a fancy gent like yourself. Besides, you'd get crumbs in it, ya cabbage head!

    Horace : [not noticing Rolly stealing the meat out of his sandwich]  All right! Guzzle the whole works, and I hope it gives ya collywobbles, that's what!

    [He takes a bite out of the now empty sandwich, looks puzzled and holds it open to Jasper] 

    Horace : 'Ere Jasper, did you...?

    [Jasper nonchalantly taps his cigar ash over it] 

  • Horace : We're from the Gas Company.

    Jasper : [elbows him]  'Lectric! 'Lectric!

    Horace : Uh, Electric Company.

  • [the dalmatians are hiding from Jasper and Horace under a bridge across a frozen creek] 

    Jasper : Aw, they gotta be around here somewhere.

    Horace : Jasper, I've been thinking.

    Jasper : Now, Horace!

    Horace : But what if they went down the froze-up creek so as not to leave their tracks?

    Jasper : Oh, Horace, you idiot! Dogs ain't that smart.

  • Nanny : What's the matter with you two? You got cloth ears? I said you're not coming in here!

    Jasper : Ho, ho, ho! She's a regular old totter, ain't she, Horace? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!

    Nanny : Don't you dare go up there, you big long-legged lumox!

  • Jasper : [as Pongo's pulling his pants down]  Hey, Horace! They're fighting dirty!

  • Pongo : Thank you, Seargent, Colonel, Captain.

    Perdita : Bless you all.

    Pongo : How can we ever repay you?

    Colonel : Oh, nothing at all. All in the line of duty.

    Seargent Tibs : That's right, sir. Routine.

  • Jasper : The little twerps! Giving us the slip! And after we took so much care of them! That's gratitude for ya!

  • Jasper : There's a new act just been passed in parliament. Comes under the heading of "Defence of the Realm Act", it's article 4, section 29, it's very important, you see, it's the law, and it's for your safety, ma'am.

    Nanny : Well, I don't care what Parliament realm, or whatever it is, says. You're not coming in here, not with the mister and missus gone.

  • Jasper : [after locking Nanny in the attic]  Hey! Horace, me lad! I've got a sneaky suspicion we're not welcome here!

  • [Jasper picks up Tibs thinking that it's a bottle. Tibs screeches] 

    Jasper : Hey look, Horace! We have a visitor, it's a tabby cat!

    [Tibbs run over to the piano and slams the lid down, with Horace's head inside the piano] 

    Jasper : How about we make him a tabby cat stew!

    [Tibs runs towards the wall] 

    Jasper : [sneaking up on Tibs holding a bottle]  Or a cat casserole...


    Jasper : [throws bottle at Tibs]  ... a la Mode!

    [Tibs escapes the room through a hole in the wall by the door as the bottle smashes against the wall] 

  • Cruella De Vil : Well what have we here?

    [looking at the snow] 

    Cruella De Vil : So they thought they could outwit Cruella?

    [Honking car horn] 

    Cruella De Vil : Jasper! Horace! Here's their tracks heading straight for the village!

    Jasper : Blimey! It's them, all right.

    Cruella De Vil : Work your way south on the side roads. I'll take the main road.

    [Driving off] 

    Cruella De Vil : See you in Dinsford!

  • [as Tibs and the puppies are chased by the Baduns] 

    Colonel : Sergeant? I say, sergeant!

    Seargent Tibs : [stops and salutes]  Sorry sir, no time to explain, busy sir!

    [resumes running] 

  • Jasper : I'll skin every one of them little spotted hyenas, if it's the last thing I do.

  • Nanny : Be off with you, you big... you big weasel!

    Jasper : Now you've gone and done it. You've cut me to the quick, lady. Why, I wouldn't stay here if you asked me to.

    [Nanny throws a teapot at him, but he dodges and it smashes against the door] 

    Jasper : Not even for a cup of tea.

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs

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