How to Stuff a Wild Bikini (1965)
Ricky: I have a simple theory - if you're not with the girl that you love, love the girl that you're with.
North Dakota Pete: Old Pete's got ideas... and those that ain't vile, are foul.
North Dakota Pete: When I was a kid in school, you know what I did to the little girls that sat in front of me?
Eric Von Zipper: Sure, let me guess, you used to take their pig-tails and stick them in the ink well.
North Dakota Pete: No. I used to stick the *whole girl* in the ink well.
Peachy Keane: Well, dear, we'll put this on the train to Atlanta and see if it whistles Dixie!
Native Girl: After the Navy, you still have me.
Frankie: I also have a girl back home.
Native Girl: Is she pretty?
Frankie: Oh, she's beautiful.
Native Girl: Then, she will be making love too! Just as we are.
Frankie: Dee Dee? Certainly, not. She wouldn't be unfaithful.
Native Girl: Why not?
Frankie: Because she's a girl.
Peachy Keane: What makes you so hopeless?
Cassandra: I don't know. I think it has something to do with boys. They make me nervous.
Bonehead: They make *you* nervous?
Native Girl: You got good news for me today, Bwana baby?
Bwana: Call me by my full name: Bwana Chickie Baby.
Frankie: What am I going to do? Here I am - stuck out here!
Native Girl: With me.
Frankie: With you. Well, it's better than a kick in the head, boobie.
Johnny: [seeing 3 pretty beach girls, enthusiastically ] Hello! How are you?
English Girl: [with British accent ] Jolly good, thank you.
Johnny: Hey, you're English.
English Girl: Quite. My name's Cynthia.
Johnny: I'm Johnny, and this is Bonehead - accent on the first syllable.
English Girl: How do you do? I'd like you to meet some friends. This is Maria from Italy. And this is Uta from Germany, she's from Düsseldorf.
Johnny: Mighty pretty country around there.
German Girl: Danke schön.
Johnny: How come the United Nation's meeting at the beach?
English Girl: We heard so much about America, and the girls on the beach, we decided to investigate.
Bonehead: [pointing to himself ] Anytime you want to investigate the *boys*!
German Girl: Ooh.
Beach Girl from Georgia: [comes walking over, heavy Southern accent ] Hi thar, y'all must be new here-abouts.
Italian Girl: Where are you from?
Beach Girl from Georgia: [heavy Southern accent ] I'm from Georgia, that's in the South.
English Girl: Of what country?
Beach Girl from Georgia: [looks into camera, nonplussed look on her face ] Huh?
Ricky: Maybe that's why I like you so much... you don't tempt easy.
Native Girl: You Navy boys have funny ideas. Okay for boy, but, not okay for girl.
California Beach Bums: [singing] Take a girl with eyes as blue as sky, Pretty girl with eyes that hypnotize, And a 36-22-36, That's how you, Stuff a wild bikini...
Bonehead: Where are you from Cassandra?
Cassandra: From a long way off and I'm here to have fun and keep you fellas happy.
Peachy Keane: I'm looking for the perfect girl to go in the perfect bikini along with the perfect boy. Now, these two will be featured in all of our ads depicting the new image of motorcycling. The girl and boy next door ride: Bikini Bikes!
Peachy Keane: My little peanut, what do they call you?
Peachy Keane: That's what I get for asking questions. And you, chickie baby, what do they call you?
Chickie: They call me Chickie. How'd you all guess?
Peachy Keane: Oh, fuss and feathers!
Ricky: When Peachy runs it up the flag pole, everybody salutes - and I quote him.
Dee Dee: I'm afraid you're barking up the wrong girl. I have a fella.
Dee Dee: What Frankie does is his business. I have my own principles and I have to live with them.
Mickey Rooney Beach Girls: [singing] If you're looking for girls who are pretty, Hey, why all the fuss? If you're looking you're in the right city, Hey, now, how about us? We got charm! We got looks! We got brains! We read books! We're the chicks who know all the tricks, Hey, now, how about us?
Peachy Keane: You're wild, chickie babies, wild! But, she is the wildest.
Peachy Keane: Oh, boy, this is bigger than cellophane! B.D. will go ape!
California Beach Bums: [singing] With a face like that, And eyes like those, From the top of your head, To the tip of your toes, I'll tell the world, That that's what I call a healthy girl...
Ricky: Why are you so sure you don't want to be the girl next door?
Dee Dee: I am the girl next door and I'm not moving.
Johnny: Come on, Cassandra, first we'll teach you how to surf.
Cassandra: That sounds marvy!
Peachy Keane: That sounds peachy.
Ricky: Eighty-two to one, right now, Frankie's swingin' way out with some native chick...
Dee Dee: I told you, Ricky, I don't care what Frankie's doing.
Ricky: Look, Dee Dee, you can't stay a brownie all your life.
Dee Dee: I'm not that much of a brownie, Rick.
Ricky: Okay, prove it!
Dee Dee: How?
Ricky: Well, there's a moon out there and a beach and the ocean; but, you know what's not out there? Us!
Dee Dee: Why don't you try asking?
Ricky: Consider yourself asked.
Dee Dee: [singing] The perfect boy, Doesn't have to be a Hercules.
California Beach Girls: Hercules.
Dee Dee: The perfect boy, Doesn't have to be Euripides.
California Beach Girls: Ripides.
Dee Dee: Brawn or brain, He doesn't need to be, What I mean, To say is actually, The perfect boy, Only has to be, Just true, To me!
Native Girl: [singing] Here we are, The two of us, With your lips close to mine.
Frankie: If it's gonna happen, Your lips will do just fine.
Ricky: [singing] Here we are, Alone at last, With your hands holding mine.
Dee Dee: If it's gonna happen, Your hands will do just fine.
North Dakota Pete: I got a tiger tied up down there. There'll be a tiger in his tank, boobie.
Puss: But what about Dee Dee?
Boots: She'll be riding with Ricky.
Puss: I don't like the idea of a girl being eaten by a tiger.
Boots: Me neither. It ain't nice.
North Dakota Pete: Don't worry, ladies. This tiger only likes boys.
B.D. 'Big Deal' MacPherson: I knew you were my kind of an ad man the minute you stole your first account from those thieves at BVD & U.
Peachy Keane: Thanks, B.D.!
Peachy Keane: Now, when you get to the ditch, the ditch! You understand me? The ditch that's covered with straw. Ditch covered with straw - what is it you do?
Eric Von Zipper: I cross that bridge when I come to it.
Peachy Keane: No. No! You don't. You go around it!
Eric Von Zipper: I go around it.
Peachy Keane: Right.
North Dakota Pete: Otherwise you're down in the pit! Without a pendulum.
Peachy Keane: No! You don't change the roadsigns. J.D. and the Rats change them. And Rick, he goes the wrong way and you go the right way. You understand? You go the right way! Right?
Eric Von Zipper: Right!
Peachy Keane: Right!
North Dakota Pete: We're going to have walkie-talkies all around. *Just* to keep you reminded. And you're going to have a little receiver inside your helmet - where your brain's supposed to be.
North Dakota Pete: Hey, boobie, there's a fiver if you aim that Derringer at old Ricky over there.
Puss: It wouldn't be ethical.
North Dakota Pete: You keep your ethicals. I'll keep my five.
Eric Von Zipper: I'm given up my new image and I'm going back to my old image. Right?
Eric Von Zipper: The old way was better. Right?
Eric Von Zipper: I am my ideal. But, the Rats, are my idols. Right?
Eric Von Zipper: I'm going back being the Rat next door. Right?
Eric Von Zipper: Let's go!
Cassandra: If you can't be with the one you love. love the one you're with
Native Girl: If you can't be with the one you love. love the one you're with
Johnny: Hello! How are you?
English Girl: Jolly good, thank you.
Johnny: Hey, you're English!
English Girl: Quite. My name's Cynthia.
Johnny: I'm Johnny and this is Bonehead - accent on the first syllable.
Ricky: Wait till you read your fortune cookie - it's rigged.