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Episode List

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Season 1

22 Jan. 1970
Episode #1.1
Pat knocks on the door of Senator Hubert Humphrey when his car breaks down, but he's never invited inside out of the cold. At the Hobby Hut, Pat makes a color TV out of a cardboard box and silverware. On "Then Came Paulsen," motorcyclist Pat slams into the glass window of a diner. Superhero Comedy Man (Hal Smith) thwarts a bank holdup with hysterical laughter. Paul interviews an animated Daffy Duck. New prison warden Paulsen is assaulted by inmate Debbie Reynolds. Pat reminds the audience that if the show fails, many children will starve.
 
29 Jan. 1970
Episode #1.2
Angie is a TV addict who can't stop bothering T.V. repairman Pat as he tries to fix her broken set, then as "Mr. Science", he gives a muddled lecture on Weather patterns, and a devilish take off on "Children's letters to God", with a very ungodly host.
 
5 Feb. 1970
Episode #1.3
An animated Foghorn Leghorn is interviewed by Paulsen. Pat demonstrates poorly conceived security ideas at a liquor store. On "Just Us Girls" a goofy astrologer offers useless advice, a gossip columnist reports, and a dream is interpreted. Motorcyclist Pat crashes into a truck garage on "Then Came Paulsen." At Hobby Hut, recycles an old lamp into an empty wine bottle. Mike Conners runs a travel agency for bums, booking them on park benches around Los Angeles.
 
12 Feb. 1970
Episode #1.4
Pat does poor hand shadows. Mr. Science explains plants by handing Bobby poison oak and ivy before locking him in a booth full of flies. Comedy Man thwarts a park hold-up with old jokes. On "Dr. Bledsoe's Prehistoric Africa," archaeologist Bledsoe is upstaged by his ape, Bonzo, who is clearly the brains of the duo. Paulsen and Worley are perpetually drenched living in their undersea home. Pat's rambling folk song is interrupted by Tiny Tim (and Miss Vicki) who demonstrates how to sing a contemporary song; a mute Miss Vicki watches.
 
19 Feb. 1970
Episode #1.5
Pat does lame hand shadows. At "Hobby Hut," he powers a radio with a lawn mower and destroys a glass-blown piece of art. He picks up a hitch-hiking monkey on "Then Came Paulsen" and crashes into a lake. Blocker plays football hero Paulsen's college roommate at Picky U. Pat interviews Gentle Bear (Einstein in a bear suit) who berates the pandering Cookie Bear of "The Andy Williams Show." Paulsen injures himself in a self-defense karate demonstration. Williams, with Cookie Bear in tow, shows up to complain about the rude comments he claims Paulsen made earlier.
 
26 Feb. 1970
Episode #1.6
The "Picky Consumer" tests out sledgehammers on a new Volkswagen. While Mr. Science flirts with Cathy, he locks Bobby in a chamber with the atmosphere of Mars. Local news anchor Paulsen on channel 96 in West Tipton, Indiana contends with nothing but technical difficulties. Pat applies for a part-time job with Peanut Brittle, Mister, Inc. He agrees to unnecessary surgery by doctor Henry Fonda because it's going to be televised.
 
5 Mar. 1970
Episode #1.7
Pat sings a rambling song about Hawaii. Governor Paulsen meets someone as corrupt as he is: little Norman Plonoy who's honorary "Governor For a Day." On "Crime Stoppers," Pat shows how to protect the home from burglars, but he's robbed blind by supposedly-reformed cat burglar Pepe Maxwell. "Just Us Girls" features cosmic advice from Astro Lady and Hollywood gossip from Anita Nose. In the close, Tom Smothers shows a clip of Pat's first appearance on "The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour." They both become weepy with nostalgia until they think they're off the air.
 
12 Mar. 1970
Episode #1.8
The head of a novelty company demonstrates his products. On "Hobby Hut," Pat makes a soggy pair of headphones from shower nozzles and destroys a priceless coin owned by Buffalo Running Schwartz. A couple of robots show off their new inventions: humans. A doctor orders Don Rickles to remain calm at work or he will drop dead; he is tested by incompetent garage employee Paulsen. Pat gives Las Vegas gambling tips.
 
19 Mar. 1970
Episode #1.9
Pat discusses the positive aspects of smoking. Mr. Science switches Bobby's brain with that of a dog until Bobby tries to "go" on the newspaper. "Then Came Paulsen" has cyclist Pat crashing into a beer parlor after Buffalo Running Schwartz crosses in front of him. Pat demonstrates the art of surfing and waits a long, long time for the perfect wave. New Yankees manager Dolf Clem spoils the team's tubby home run king Big Ted Koznowski with his own recliner and lounge.
 
26 Mar. 1970
Episode #1.10
Guest Carl Betz plays a ruthless lawyer badgering meek witness Paulsen in a trial setting, Pat gives one of his rambling lectures, this time on the subject of what it takes to be a stunt man, and finally, he portrays an overworked announcer at a threadbare TV station.
 
2 Apr. 1970
Episode #1.11
Paul explains his bird-watching equipment. At the drive-in, the boss (Paulsen) makes the moves on his secretary (Heatherton) until his wife is spotted in the car next door. On "Then Came Paulsen," Pat attempts to help Buffalo Running Schwartz with a flat tire, then drives into an open grave. Channel 94's in West Tipton, IN interviews a boxer who is so long winded, he's still talking when the TV station signs off the air. Pat demands silence as he attempts to levitate over a tank of water; he fails repeatedly.
 
9 Apr. 1970
Episode #1.12
Pat shows how little he retains while speed reading. A race track announcer and a phone operator have a talkative home life. Shutterbug Pat takes a Polaroid selfie that looks like Richard Nixon. "Just Us Girls" features weird astrology from Astro Lady and gossip from Anita Nose. Pat shows a montage of Buffalo Running Schwartz's appearances, then informs him the series has been canceled. According to the Paulsen Rating System, his show is the most popular on TV, but he's quitting while it's on top. Pat sings a "straight" song, Did I Ever Really Live."
 
16 Apr. 1970
Episode #1.13
Pat and Vanetta open this final episode by calling an ABC executive the devil. Paulsen introducing a montage of physical mishaps he's suffered in sketches. Repeated sketches: the first Channel 94 "Dinnertime News" sketch, "Hobby Hut" where Pat builds a TV set, and "Mr. Science" with Bobby locked in the weather booth. The "Then Came Paulsen" episode (titled "Even Though I'm Cancelled I Still Can't Stop") features a montage of his motorbike crashes. In the close, Paulsen brings out all kids who will starve now that their parents have lost their jobs with the show's ...
 

 Season 1 

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