200 Motels (1971) Poster


Theodore Bikel: Rance Muhammitz, Dave



  • Rance Muhammitz : [as a TV show host, holding a microphone]  Hi Larry, its good to have you back on our panel!

    Larry The Dwarf : [holding a magic lamp]  Hi Dave, its really great to be back on your panel!

    Rance Muhammitz : I'm sure the people at home would be interested to know why such a large force as you is all dressed up like Frank Zappa. Tell us Larry, whats the deal?

    Larry The Dwarf : He made me do it, Dave. He's such a creep. He's making me hold this aladdin.

    Rance Muhammitz : And why is he making you do that, Larry?

    Larry The Dwarf : He wants me to fuck the girl with the harp.

    [Keith Moon as the nun peers out from behind the harp grinning] 

    Rance Muhammitz : He wants you to fuck the girl... with the harp?

    Larry The Dwarf : NO, no! With the magic lamp! He wants me to stuff it up her and rub it.

    [chuckles maniacally, host stares at him] 

    Rance Muhammitz : Let us ask our studio audience: if you had just been lowered down here on TV with a wire connected to a brown leather harness, forced by crazy person to insert a mysterious imported lamp in the rep-rep-rep

    [has trouble pronouncing word with thick German accent] 

    Rance Muhammitz : into the, into the RE-productive orifice of a lady harpist, and you were a dwarf... would you do it?

    Larry The Dwarf : YES!

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