Tim Matheson: Eric Stratton
Otter : Let me give you a hint. She's got a couple of major-league yabbos.
Boon : Beverly!
Otter : No. But you're getting warmer. Here's another: "Oh God, Oh God, OH GOD!"
Boon : Marlene! Don't tell me you're gonna pork Marlene Desmond!
Otter : Pork?
Boon : You're gonna hump her brains out, aren't you?
Otter : Boon, I anticipate a deeply religious experience.
Bluto : Hey! What's all this laying around shit?
Stork : What the hell are we supposed to do, ya moron?
D-Day : [to Bluto] War's over, man. Wormer dropped the big one.
Bluto : What? Over? Did you say "over"? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!
Otter : [to Boon] Germans?
Boon : Forget it, he's rolling.
Bluto : And it ain't over now. 'Cause when the goin' gets tough...
[thinks hard of something to say]
Bluto : The tough get goin'! Who's with me? Let's go!
[Bluto runs out, alone; then returns]
Bluto : What the fuck happened to the Delta I used to know? Where's the spirit? Where's the guts, huh? This could be the greatest night of our lives, but you're gonna let it be the worst. "Ooh, we're afraid to go with you Bluto, we might get in trouble." Well just kiss my ass from now on! Not me! I'm not gonna take this. Wormer, he's a dead man! Marmalard, dead! Niedermeyer...
Otter : Dead! Bluto's right. Psychotic... but absolutely right. We gotta take these bastards. Now we could do it with conventional weapons, but that could take years and cost millions of lives. No, I think we have to go all out. I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part!
Bluto : We're just the guys to do it.
D-Day : [stands up]
Boon : [stands up] Let's do it.
Bluto : [shouting] "Let's do it"!
[all of the Deltas stand up and run out with Bluto]
[Otter and Mrs. Wormer are in the supermarket vegetable section]
Eric 'Otter' Stratton : Mine's bigger.
[Marion looks questioningly at him]
Eric 'Otter' Stratton : My cucumber. It's bigger. I think vegetables can be very sensuous, don't you?
Marion Wormer : No, vegetables are sensual. People are sensuous.
Eric 'Otter' Stratton : Right. Sensual. That's what I meant. My name's Eric Stratton. People call me Otter.
Marion Wormer : My name's Marion. People call me Mrs. Wormer.
Eric 'Otter' Stratton : Oh, we have a Dean Wormer at Faber.
Marion Wormer : How interesting. I have a husband named Dean Wormer at Faber. Still want to show me your cucumber?
Eric 'Otter' Stratton : Sophomore dies in kiln explosion? Oh My God! I just talked to her last week... She was going to make a pot for me.
D-Day : Hey, quit your blubberin'. When I get through with this baby you won't even recognize it.
Otter : Flounder, you can't spend your whole life worrying about your mistakes! You fucked up... you trusted us! Hey, make the best of it! Maybe we can help.
Flounder : [crying] That's easy for you to say! What am I going to tell Fred?
Otter : I'll tell you what. We'll tell Fred you were doing a great job taking care of his car, but you parked it out back last night and this morning... it was gone. We report it as stolen to the police. D-Day takes care of the wreck. Your brother's insurance company buys him a new car.
Flounder : Will that work?
Otter : Hey, it's gotta work better than the truth.
Bluto : [thrusting six-pack into Flounder's hands] My advice to you is to start drinking heavily.
Otter : Better listen to him, Flounder, he's in pre-med.
D-Day : [firing up blow-torch] There you go now, just leave everything to me.
Dean Vernon Wormer : Well, well, well. Looks like somebody forgot there's a rule against alcoholic beverages in fraternities on probation!
Otter : What a tool.
Dean Vernon Wormer : I didn't get that, son, what was that?
Otter : Uh, I said, "What a shame that a few bad apples have to spoil a good time for everyone by breaking the rules."
Dean Vernon Wormer : Put a sock in it, boy, or else you'll be outta here like shit through a goose.
Otter : Point of parliamentary procedure!
Hoover : Don't screw around, they're serious this time!
Otter : Take it easy, I'm pre-law.
Boon : I thought you were pre-med.
Otter : What's the difference?
[Addressing the room]
Otter : Ladies and gentlemen, I'll be brief. The issue here is not whether we broke a few rules, or took a few liberties with our female party guests - we did.
[winks at Dean Wormer]
Otter : But you can't hold a whole fraternity responsible for the behavior of a few, sick twisted individuals. For if you do, then shouldn't we blame the whole fraternity system? And if the whole fraternity system is guilty, then isn't this an indictment of our educational institutions in general? I put it to you, Greg - isn't this an indictment of our entire American society? Well, you can do whatever you want to us, but we're not going to sit here and listen to you badmouth the United States of America. Gentlemen!
[Leads the Deltas out of the hearing, all humming the Star-Spangled Banner]
Otter : They kicked us out of school? That makes sense.
Otter : Mandy, Mandy Pepperidge. I haven't seen you since we...
Mandy Pepperidge : Go away!
Otter : I'm sorry, I can only stay a minute. Can I buy you some lunch? Oh, you got your lunch. Well, how about some milk? Got your milk too. Can I just massage your thighs while you eat?
Mandy Pepperidge : Do I have to leave?
Otter : Is this any way to treat an intimate friend?
D-Day : [enters with a bruised and bloodied Otter] I found him after he called me from a phone on the side of the road outside of town.
Boon : [to Otter] Holy shit! What happened to you? You look grotesqe.
Otter : Some of the Omegas jumped me and did a little dancing on my face.
Bluto : Who was it?
Otter : It was Greggie and Douggie... and some of the other Hitler youth.
Boon : Why? What'd you do?
Otter : That's just it... I don't know. They're just animals, I guess.
Greg Marmalard : [at the trial of Delta House V. Omega House] Robert Hoover will speak on behalf of Delta House.
Hoover : [the Deltas cheer as he stands up] I don't think you can fully judge a fraternity without looking at the positive qualities of the people in it. The Delta House has a long standing tradition of existence to its' members and to the community at large.
Dean Vernon Wormer : [to Marmalard] I think we've heard enough.
Hoover : I was told I would have a chance to speak?
Greg Marmalard : We've heard enough.
Hoover : But I was told I would have a chance to speak!
Doug Neidermeyer : HE SAID THAT'S IT! ARE YOU DEAF?
Dean Vernon Wormer : [to Marmalard] Let's finish this damn thing.
Bluto : [in the background] BULLSHIT!
[the other Deltas start chanting "bullshit"]
Hoover : I don't think it's fair!
Dean Vernon Wormer : [angry] I'll tell you what's fair!
Bluto : [in the background] EAT ME!
[the other Deltas start chanting "Eat me"]
Hoover : Hey will someone tell those assholes to shut up?
Boon : Hey shut up you assholes!
[shows Katy laughing hysterically]
Otter : [stands up] Point of parliamentary procedure!
Hoover : Don't screw this up, they're serious this time.
Otter : Take it easy man, I'm in pre law.
Boon : I thought you were pre med?
Otter : What's the difference? Ladies and gentlemen, I'll be brief.
Dean Vernon Wormer : What's he doing?
Otter : The issue here is not that we broke a few rules, or took a few liberties with our female party guests. We did.
Otter : But you can't hold an entire fraternity responsible for the actions of a few sick, perverted individuals. For if you do, then shouldn't we blame the whole fraternity system? And if the whole fraternity system is to blame, then is this not an indictment of our education system in general? I put it to you, Greg! Isn't this an indictment of our entire American society? Well, you can do what you want to us, but I will not stand by and listen to you bad mouth the United States of America! Gentlemen!
[they cheer, walk out humming the US National Anthem]
Dean Vernon Wormer : You're not walking out of this one mister! You're finished! No more Delta! You've bought it this time, buster! I will call your national office! I will revoke your charter! And if you wise guys try one more thing, I am kicking you out of this college! No more fun of any kind!