The Muppet Movie (1979) Poster

Dom DeLuise: Bernie the Agent



  • Bernie : If you ever come out west to Hollywood, look me up: Bernie, the agent.

    Kermit : Hey, listen, Bernie the Agent, why don't you say "hello" to Arnie the alligator?

  • Bernie the Agent : Help! Hello! This is a serious call for help!

    Kermit : Uh, yeah?

    Bernie the Agent : Someone - help! Ah - I, oh! Oh! You, you with the banjo - uh, can you help me? I have lost my sense of direction.

    Kermit : Uh, have you tried Hare Krishna?

    Bernie the Agent : [briefly laughs sarcastically]  No. No, I mean I'm really lost.

    Kermit : Uh, one second.

    [he tries to catch a fly with his tongue, but misses] 

    Kermit : Uh, darn I missed. You know, that's the first thing to go on a frog, his tongue. The tongue goes and you can't catch flies.

    Bernie the Agent : Well, that's rough, I'm sorry about your tongue, but I have to get out of this swamp; I have to catch a plane.

    Kermit : With *that* tongue? No way.

    Bernie the Agent : [laughs] 

    Kermit : But seriously, there's a boat dock just downstream.

    Bernie the Agent : Thank you.

    Kermit : Just watch out for the alligators.

    Bernie the Agent : I will.

    [he starts to leave but turns back to Kermit, apprehensive] 

    Bernie the Agent : Alligators?

    Kermit : That's right.

    Bernie the Agent : Did you say alligators?

    Kermit : Read my lips: al-lee-gay-twers.

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs

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