Carol Locatell: Ms. Werner
Buddy Evans : [looking at Ms. Werner's teeth] What are those?
Ms. Werner : What are what?
Buddy Evans : Those things on your teeth.
Ms. Werner : [lisping] They're braces.
Buddy Evans : [imitates lisp] I know they're braces. But do you have to wear them?
Ms. Werner : No, they're the latest in costume jewelry. Of course I have to wear them.
Buddy Evans : I see. Well, it's just that I don't want my son to look like Jaws 2.
Ms. Werner : Well, he could end up with your forehead.
Buddy Evans : What's wrong with my forehead?
Ms. Werner : Look at those lines.
Buddy Evans : What lines?
Ms. Werner : Looks like it's suffering from erosion.
Buddy Evans : As long as we're talking about looks, your nose isn't exactly classic.
Ms. Werner : Has anyone ever suggested that you plant corn in your eyebrows?
Buddy Evans : My eyebrows are fine.
Ms. Werner : Sure, if you're into wildlife.
Buddy Evans : That's very amusing.
Ms. Werner : Thank you.
Buddy Evans : As long as we're talking about hair, about that "mat" on your head.
Ms. Werner : What about it?
Buddy Evans : Well, do you shampoo it or do you have it crop-dusted?
Ms. Werner : [stepping out of Buddy's office angrily] That is the rudest man I have ever met.
Laurie : Please, forgive him. This is very important to him.
Ms. Werner : [voice breaking] I can understand about my braces, but there is nothing wrong with my nose.
Laurie : It's a terrific nose.
Ms. Werner : [stepping into the elevator, crying] Ah, Quimby sucks!