A shipping disaster in the nineteenth century has stranded a man and woman in the wilds of Africa. The lady is pregnant, and gives birth to a son in their tree house. The mother dies soon ... See full summary »
16-year old Anastasia and her adopted brother Damir live on a Greek island with their pervy grandfather. She dreams about having a large antique bathtub and he dreams about running a sea-side resort. They begin to fall for each other.
Elderly Scott kills himself after a heart attack wrecks his body, but then comes back as a ghost and convinces his loving young hot wife Kate to pick and kill a young man in order for Scott to possess his body and be with her again.
Sergeant Major Zack arrives at a new army base with his wife, son and Sherman tank. One night at a bar he "stops" a pimp/deputy from beating a girl. The corrupt sheriff uses Zack's son for revenge and Zack uses his tank.
Marvin J. Chomsky
C. Thomas Howell
A top secret Agent is murdered, so his estranged son, a high school gymnast, teams up with his dad's attractive female partner to stop the psychopathic hermaphroditic gang leader who killed him, and now plans a major terrorist attack.
This movie has little connection with the 1932 original. It does, however, have lifted footage (tinted to more-or-less match the color), including obvious footage of Weissmuller's ... See full summary »
Tom Logan is a horse thief. Rancher David Braxton has horses, and a daughter, worth stealing. But Braxton has just hired Lee Clayton, an infamous "regulator", to hunt down the horse thieves; one at a time.
The Tarzan story from Jane's point of view. Jane Parker visits her father in Africa where she joins him on an expedition. A couple of brief encounters with Tarzan establish a (sexual) bond between her and Tarzan. When the expedition is captured by savages, Tarzan comes to the rescue.Written by
Edgar Rice Burroughs is reduced to softcore porn. Instead of this being a story about a man who was raised by apes, it's a story about the sexual awakening of Jane, and it's a ludicrously awful awakening. "Tarzan the Ape Man" is so awful that it does achieve Ed Wood/Showgirls levels of so-bad-it's-good, which makes this film essential viewing for fans of bad cinema. Pretty, but talentless Bo Derek plays Jane. High points of camp include Tarzan pawing at Jane in a very odd early courtship scene. Aother scene has Tarzan rescuing Jane from a tribe of natives who roughly wash her and then cover her in mud, which I'm assuming director John Derek (Bo's husband) meant to be erotic. Oh, and over the end credits, Bo is pawed by a real ape, an orangutan, which I'm hoping was some sort of nod to the 70s/80s ape cycle of comedies (i.e "Every Which Way But Loose," "Going Ape," "BJ and the Bear," etc.). These scenes were all likely intended to be titillating, but similarly to "Showgirl," they are anything but. Overall, "Tarzan the Ape Man" is about as bad a film as can be made (I hope Richard Harris was paid handsomely for appearing), but it's sooooooooo bad, that it's absolutely worth watching, which is why I suppose Turner Classic Movies chose to air this unintentional laugh riot. FUN FACT! United Artists was sued by the Edgar Rice Burroughs estate over the film.
2 of 2 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful to you?
| Report this