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Hanky Panky (1982) Poster

(1982)

Quotes

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Ransom: What's your connection with Janet Dunn?

Michael Jordon: [nonchalantly] She's my brother.

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[Michael and Kate are left in control of a small plane with a pilot who has had an apparent heart attack after a bout of burping and belching. A voice on the radio told them they're entering prohibited government airspace and, in grabbing the radio and handing it to Kate to talk, Michael broke the cabling to the transmitter]

Michael Jordon: I knew this would happen! I dreamt about this all my life!

Kate Hellman: Get ahold of yourself.

Michael Jordon: Since I was a little boy, I dreamt this was gonna happen to me!

Kate Hellman: Just get ahold of...

Michael Jordon: Wait a minute. Ask Mr. Puckett: do I bring it in nose first or tail first?

Kate Hellman: Michael he's *dead*!

Michael Jordon: *Don't* say he's dead! Ask him!

Kate Hellman: I can't ask him; he's dead!

Michael Jordon: Will you shut up and ask him?

Kate Hellman: [shouting] Mr. Puckett! Should he bring it in nose first or tail first?

[no response]

Michael Jordon: [calmly] What'd he say?

Kate Hellman: [pounding Michael, screaming] *Michael, he's dead!*

Michael Jordon: [in angry denial] He is not dead, God-!

Kate Hellman: Yes he is! Do something!

Michael Jordon: [fumbles around the controls] Where are the wheels?

Kate Hellman: I don't know. Where are the wheels?

Michael Jordon: Where are the wheels?

Kate Hellman: [sarcastically] Oh, why don't you ask Mr. Puckett where the wheels are?

Michael Jordon: Ha, ha, ha! And why can't I ask Mr. Puckett where the wheels are? Miss Smartass?

Kate Hellman: Ah...

Michael Jordon: Go on, say it!

Kate Hellman: Oh, because he's dead.

Michael Jordon: [re-angered] Will you stop saying he's *dead*? He has *gas*!

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[Kate successfully repairs and starts the fuel truck, then crashes it out the hangar doors, making their escape]

Kate Hellman: Not bad, huh?

Michael Jordon: What?

Kate Hellman: [shouting] Not bad, huh?

Michael Jordon: [exclaiming] You want compliments *now*?

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Kate Hellman: Do something!

Michael Jordon: I am doing something! I'm crashing an airplane!

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[in trailer only]

[Patrolman walks up to Michael Jordon, wearing a dress, and Kate Hellman, Kate holding Michael's arm and standing behind him]

Patrolman: [to Michael] Is that your car, lady?

[awkward pause]

Kate Hellman: Oh, my aunt is, um, a... deaf mute.

[Michael starts nodding]

Kate Hellman: Isn't that right, auntie?

Patrolman: I thought you said you couldn't hear.

[another awkward pause]

Kate Hellman: She- uh, she reads lips.

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[Michael and Janet burst into the back of a taxi from opposite sides at the same time, bumping heads into shoulders]

Michael Jordon: Oh, goddamn...

[sees Janet for the first time]

Michael Jordon: [to Janet] I love you!

Janet Dunn: Get out of my cab!

Michael Jordon: Where is it? Show it to me.

Janet Dunn: [shouting over him] Get out of my cab right now!

Michael Jordon: I'd love to, just tell me which one it is.

Janet Dunn: Driver!

Janet Dunn: [through gritted teeth to Michael] Get out of my cab.

Michael Jordon: This one is *my* cab.

Cab Driver: Nah-ah!

[the Driver turns to look back]

Cab Driver: It's *my* cab. Now, will one of you tell me where to take it?

Michael Jordon: Where do you wanna go, honey?

Janet Dunn: [sees her pursuer behind them, looking for her] Uh...

Michael Jordon: To your place or to mine?

Janet Dunn: [with false calm] I don't care. Let's just go.

Michael Jordon: Just go straight up Park Avenue, all right? We'll tell you exactly where once we finish negotiating.

[a man in a dark suit and fedora watches their departure and takes note of the cab's plates. And so begins Michael Jordon's entanglement]

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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