Memories of Me (1988)
[Abe is dressed in a lobster costume]
Abe: I'm glad you came, doctor. Maybe you can tell me what's wrong with my hand - it's been like this for a month.
Lisa: Have you tried soaking it in melted butter?
Abe: When I die, I want my epitaph to read "Here's lies Abe Polin, King of the Extras. 19th man to yell, 'I'm Spartacus.'"
Young Abbie: Dad! I'm afraid to go to sleep!
Abe: Why are you afraid to go to sleep?
Young Abbie: What if I never wake up?
Abe: Then there'll be more for me for breakfast.
Abbie: I'm going to lean on you, and you just lean on me. Is this good for you?
Lisa: This is great.
Abbie: Look! We're a semicolon walking home!
Lisa: I have this patient, a boy. He's 12, he's terminal. He's amazing - he tells me something new every day; he tells me everything.
Abbie: He's a kid and he's scared.
Lisa: You want a mirror?
[Abe and Abbie are discussing Abbie's mother]
Abe: A woman her age is supposed to move to Florida. Who moves to Vermont?
Abbie: She likes the cold.
Abe: She should - she invented it.
Abbie: Mrs. Petrakis, I'd like you to click your heels together three times, and when you wake you'll be back in your own room in Kansas.
Mrs. Petrakis: ...Kansas?
Abe: Sweet dreams to my fingers, sweet dreams to my knees. Sweet dreams to bellybuttons that go in and out. Sweet dreams to all the little tushies in the world - the big ones, too, like the waitress in the bowling alley!
Abbie: I'm a heart surgeon, for Chrissakes. I should have seen it coming. Even the Indians warned Custer, "Don't come over today - we're a little cranky."
[Abbie watching himself on home movies]
Abbie: I couldn't catch a ball. Well, it 's hard to catch with your face. I had the word "Spalding" written on my forehead 'til I was about six.
[Abbie reveals his father is alive]
Abbie: He lives in Los Angeles.
Lisa: What does he do?
Abbie: He's a professional embarrassment.
Abe: Extras are the real Hollywood. You won't see their names above the title or below the title. We like to think of ourselves as behind the title.
Abe: I've lived a thousand different lives in a thousand different places, kid.
Abbie: Great, but when was the last time you opened a window?
[Abe points at his buttocks imprint on his old chair]
Abe: You see that? When I die, I want you to make a mold of that imprint and put it in front of Chinese Theater. Gable's feet, Monroe's hands, and Abe Polin's ass.