Troop Beverly Hills (1989)
Phyllis: I may be a beginner at some things, but I've got a black belt in shopping!
Phyllis: It was a cold and rainy day in March. I went to Kristoff's where I usually get my hair done but Kristoff wasn't there. He had mysteriously disappeared. In his place was a stranger named Rinaldo. I'll never forget him. His eyes were steely gray. His hands were like ice. He said, "I'll streak your hair and I'll give you a body wave." He worked very fast and then, as he turned my chair around to face the mirror, I saw it. He permed me!
[the Red Feathers, including Velda's daughter Cleo, abandon an injured Velda in order to win]
Velda: CLEO! I was in labor with you for 17 hours! I bought you your first tricy... I have patches, girls! I can get you into West Point.
[the Red Feathers disappear into the distance]
Velda: YOU LITTLE BITCHES!
[Velda's scream is so loud that Troop Beverly Hills happens to hear it]
Tessa DiBlasio: Oh, my god. What's that?
Phyllis: Don't worry, it's probably just one of nature's beasts.
Velda: [shouts] Ingrates! I hate children! I hate them!
Phyllis: [Realizes who the voice is] Yup! It's a beast, all right. Move out.
[Velda sees that a skunk was responsible for Troop Beverly Hills coming in first ahead of Red Feathers]
Velda: [Picks up skunk] You're gonna pay for this! Yes, you are!
Phyllis: Oh, what glorious patches!
Jamie: Thank you, ma'am.
Phyllis: Where can I buy them?
Cleo: Ma'am, you don't buy them, you earn them.
Phyllis: Oh! Like jewelry!
Phyllis: Her recommendations for a campsite were totally unsuitable. There were no outlets. And there was dirt, and bugs, and... and it rains there. So anyway, we've found a place that's much more us: the Beverly Hills Hotel.
Hannah: Why don't you guys just kiss and make up? That way, I won't end up in therapy twice a week, like Tessa!
Freddy: Honey, you'll be much less neurotic if your parents are happily divorced, rather than unhappily married.
Phyllis: Thank you, Phil Donahue.
Freddy: I saw it on Oprah!
[seeing Troop Beverly Hills on stage]
Jamie: [to the troop] Where are you from, Mars?
Cleo: Worse. Beverly Hills.
Tessa DiBlasio: [Stomping out Phyllis's cigarette ash] Mrs. Nefler! We're above the fire line! And you shouldn't smoke, it's bad for you. And it conceals neurosis you should deal with yourself.
Lily Marcigan: Smokey Bear says, "Only you can prevent forest fires."
Phyllis: Well, Smokey Bear isn't going through a horribly mess divorce!
Tessa DiBlasio: [Examining Velda's leg wound] There's multiple contusions, and possibly a cracked fibula, and a severe personality disorder.
Phyllis: The parents here are so self involved. Shit, I broke a nail!
Phyllis: This dance is called "The Freddie." I know, I know. Life is so ironic.
Cheech Marin: [to Annie Herman] Are you related to Pee Wee?
[Velda is working as a cashier at a Kmart store after being fired from the Wilderness Girls]
Velda: Attention Kmart shoppers, Blue Light special on aisle 13...
Velda: ... Cookies!
Velda: Get your damn car out of my friendship ring.
Phyllis: Hi, Vel. Lovely to see you too.
Velda: Okay, fine! On your marks! Get Set! Go!
[Fires into the air, causing a crow to fall to the ground]
Phyllis: What an adventure! Isn't nature fabulous, girls?
[the girls suddenly run ahead of her]
Phyllis: Oh, good spirits, Tiffany! Good spirits, girls! A few positive words for me and they get their second run.
[Looks behind and sees the skunk that is coming after them]
[Runs after the girls]
[the girls have made a make-shift stretcher using some of their backpacks to carry Velda]
Phyllis: I knew I could count on you girls to do the right thing.
Velda: Oh, stop, or I'll bust out crying. I knew I could count on you *losers* to do the wimpy thing.
Phyllis: You need your rest.
Freddy: You had so much energy, you were so creative, I couldn't wait to see what you'd do with it. And see, now I know what you did with it. You Went Shopping!
Phyllis: Hey, I went shopping, Buster, to furnish your perfect house, to build your perfect image, to be your perfect Beverly Hills wife!
Troop: We're the girls from Beverly Hills, shopping is our greatest thrill!
Freddy: If you contributed anymore to this marriage, we would be on welfare.
Hannah Nefler: [whispers and wave] Hi Daddy.
Claire: [upon seeing her own father, she follows Hannah's example] Hi Daddy.
Freddy: [to Hannah] Hi sweetie.
Jack Sprantz: [to Claire] Hi sweetie.
Velda: [after seeing that Troop Beverly Hills have managed to make it to the other side of the ravine despite the sabotaged bridge] Damn! Those little Dim-besses are *really* starting to bug me.