Troll 2 (1990) Poster

(1990)

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1/10
The Holy Grail of bad movies
ugadawgguy9 August 2003
This is it, folks: the worst movie ever made.

I know, I know, there are many who argue that "Plan 9 from Outer Space" and "Manos: The Hands of Fate" are worse "films" than this one. Well, I'd advise those people to give "Troll 2" another viewing, this time with an open mind. As something of a self-made authority on the worst of the worst in modern cinematic torture, I feel qualified to make the bold assertion that "Troll 2" is the cream of that particular crop.

From its laugh-inducing soundtrack (apparently recorded using only a vintage 1980s Casio keyboard) to its unilaterally awful acting, "Troll 2" is a life-changing experience, similar to the Middle Ages' trials by fire. If you succeed at ingesting this festering piece of cinematic detritus in one sitting, you will emerge a new person, like a phoenix rising from its own ashes. The watching itself may be painful, but it is ultimately worth the pain to be able to say, with conviction, "I survived 'Troll 2,' and I'm still technically alive."

The special effects in this movie are, indeed, special -- like a one-legged blind woman with Alzheimer's. Trivia: one of the various Emmanuelles from the infamous "Emmanuelle" series of soft-core porno movies designed this movie's pitiful costumes. That should give you some indication of their quality.

The acting -- my God, where do I start? Suffice it to say that, if you set any cast member on fire, I would lay down even money that he or she would have a hard time convincing onlookers that it hurt. They're really that bad. More trivia: One of Elliot's "boys" in this movie would later go on to reprise his role (Disposable Character in Bad Movie) in the Lou Diamond Phillips classic "Bats." Even more trivia: The father in this movie was a local dentist, and most of the extras were bona fide Utah residents, as well. Talk about low-budget.

Back to the soundtrack -- There's not a single scene in the movie where the music is appropriate to the on-screen action. I get the impression that the "composer" employed for this stinker was, in fact, a failed auditioner for Def Leppard's still-vacant keytarist position. Seriously, it's rare, even in straight-to-video dogs like this one, to hear music of this woeful caliber.

What more can I say that hasn't already been set forth in previous reviews? This is the worst movie I have ever seen, and that's saying something. It's physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting to watch this film -- I recommend doing it alone, at least the first time you see it...that way, you can concentrate on its truly majestic badness -- and on feeling your brain cells die off, one by one, until you are no longer able to speak.

Good luck to you, if you decide to watch this one. It doesn't get any worse than "Troll 2."

ADDENDUM (October 2007): This is still the worst movie of all time. Its status as such will never change. "Troll 2" is simply the perfect storm of bad writing, casting, direction, cinematography, costuming, score, makeup, effects, acting, editing, and inspiration.

UPDATE (June 2010): I just watched it again. Alone. In one sitting. God help me, some component of my brain must be fundamentally defective.

POSTSCRIPT (September 2013): This film continues to alter the life of each man, woman, and child with the good fortune/taste to bathe in its glory. I could not recommend it more strongly.
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1/10
Forced to watch!
fox_tabatha9 April 2005
My sister made me watch this. She insisted it was a contagion, a disease she was compelled to spread. After seeing it, I truly understand, relate, and recommend.

It's awful! But a transcendent awfulness...you want to pass it around like milk that might be spoiled, but everyone needs to test it anyway.

I've never laughed so much at something that isn't even trying to be remotely comedic; it's a travesty.

I'm not surprised there are drinking games built around it, but you'll be more than amused watching it sober.Yes, it's that bad! But fun - you want to see it over and over again, and force other people to watch it too. Rent it on a particularly bad day: you'll forget everything irritating in your life, and be weirdly involved in a world of badly-clad midgets; suddenly wondering if baloney sandwiches or urine could possibly be the solution... If you vote, give it a one - it truly deserves the recognition of being one of the worst movies ever.
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1/10
Awful, but funniest thing ever.
zygfrieds_baboon6 February 2005
Imagine....some really bored media students who have rented a motor-home and have loads of popcorn to be used. Then imagine a film where those are the most expensive things in it. This is that film. Troll 2 - yet has no troll. Just goblins. But hey. The first time I saw this, I wished I had been wearing a nappy or sitting on a very big sponge, it is that funny. Personally, I could not get up from rolling around on the floor, nor the people I was with, although they had it worse, as they kept falling off the bed. Unfortunately, it is funny without meaning to be, simply because it is that bad. It seems to just have people dragged in from the street in the leading roles, which could well be true. Maybe somebody was very drunk when they decided to make this film. Or when they made it. Or when they went ahead with all the stages of production. Just possibly. Anyway, it is hilarious. I got my DVD copy for £2. That says it all really I would say. Watch this film if you want to see: neon-coloured food, children in masks and dressed in sacks charging around a forest set to a dodgy 1990-theme, awful make up, worse acting, even worse dialogue, the funniest yokels ever (including Sheriff Freak - 'nuff said) and the mightiest weapon ever seen in any film ever. Go on, watch it. Best laugh of my life, could be yours too.
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1/10
I bet it was a goblin in disguise!
lobello_929 August 2005
I would like to begin my review by saying that watching this movie will be like taking a hot fork and shoving it in your eye socket for some people, whereas for others it will be the funniest F'n thing you've ever seen.

Before I get into the meat of the story or as I like to call it a double decker bologna sandwich…Troll 2 has nothing to do with trolls (just goblins), Troll 2 also has absolutely nothing to do with Troll 1. AHA but that's not all!!!! The guy who made the cover for Troll 2 didn't see Troll 1 or Troll 2!!!! The original cover of Troll 2 has a werewolf (Not in Troll 1 or Troll 2) chasing a little boy who doesn't even appear in either of the Troll movies! If that doesn't make you want to take your head and smash it against concrete, I don't know what does.

I will now begin with the double decker bologna sandwich part of my analysis. The film begins with Grandpa Seth talking to his grandson Joshua. Joshua is constipated throughout the film and grandpa is dead. You know the kind of dead where you say you will be gone forever and then you come back and then you say you will be gone forever and then you come back and then you give your 12 year old grandson a Molotov cocktail and then you say you will be gone forever and then you come back…that kind of dead. He tells that old story of how Peter Pan ran through the woods one day, ate green goup, and turned into a MLANT. The mother, played by Margo Prey (AKA greatest actress ever) assures Joshua that it was just a dream and goes onto explain that Grandpa's death was, "Very difficult for your father, for Holly, and for me his daughter." You may want to give that quote a second reading… The daughter is also brilliant in this picture. The chemistry between her and her boyfriend Elliott is sizzling!!! Ouch very hot! So sizzling that Elliott and his friends couldn't be more gay! Holly explains, "You take them to bed with you too (referring to Elliott's guy friends that are hanging out the window) and I don't believe in group sex". What??? Holly then explains that her parents don't like Elliott (that he is a good for nothing) and that they are going on vacation for a month. Ellliott then asks, "Is it true you're going on vacation tomorrow?" "Yes!" "I'll come with you?" "OK I'll tell my father that you're coming with us tomorrow" Believe me the movie keeps going…Joshua must do it he must do it! He must pee on everyone's food before they eat corn with green paste on it. Oh my god! Or how about "You're a genius big Sister!" Watch for the mother staring directly into the camera and yelling, "Oh dear god what can we do!" So they have this family exchange and they go to Nilbog and oh my god!

This movie is a pure masterpiece. It's so bad it's fantastic! I recommend everyone to give it one viewing just so you can say you've survived it's stupidity. Make sure you watch it with friends though…DO NOT watch this movie alone or you will lose your mind trying to figure out why anyone would make a movie this bad...I will leave you with this: Mother says "Elliott what are you doing here?" Daughter says "Elliott is part of the family now!" Mom puts her hand on Elliott's face, "Oh Elliott!"
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1/10
"There is no hospital in Nilbog" but there is a looney bin
rjh220015 June 2005
Warning: Spoilers
I collect crappy horror films, particularly the "creature flicks" and I have to confess that Troll 2 is my run-away all-time favorite. This movie has absolutely no redeeming qualities, none. Had the acting, story, effects, dialogue, any one of those not been as awful as they are in this film then Troll 2 simply would not be the same. It would have been forgotten long ago and not held as the utter piece of crap that it is.

First, there is absolutely no connect with the first Troll movie. This is probably a good thing since the first movie wasn't even funny in an awful way, just horribly lame. There is not a single troll in Troll 2 anyway, since they're all "goblins." The premise entails a family (Mom, Dad, Joshua, Holly) in some sort of "exchange program" which puts them in a town called Nilbog (get it?). It turns out that the town is really goblins who try to feed humans neon green slop that turns them into part-vegetables. The goblins then eat them. The family is evidently comfortable eating food like corn-on-the-cob with neon green stuff on top and cakes with "eat up" written in green "icing," except for Joshua who suspects trouble by virtue of the fact that the boy is in communion with his dead grandfather, a man who conveniently knows all about the goblins and how to conquer them.

As if this premise weren't enough, the acting is horrible. Holly has a boyfriend who comes along and drags three of his own friends who each suffer a gruesome fate (turned into a tree, drowned in popcorn, etc). These dorks couldn't score with Nilbog girls if they paid them, but since there's a weird homo erotic feel to their interactions, it probably wouldn't come to that. Holly's BAD at delivering her lines - it reminds me of second grade and how we'd read the parts of a play out loud in class. It sounds prepackaged and faked, like reading off a teleprompter. The Mom is equally awful and has really strange bug eyes. You half expect her to turn into a goblin. Apparently "row, row, row your boat" is her favorite song and she makes her family sing it. Joshua looks like he's in constant pain and every whine of his makes you grit your teeth and beg for a chainsaw (Creedence has one!). Although far from being good, the Dad here delivers the best performance, but maybe that's because he reminded me of Craig T. Nelson, who can actually act. As far as costumes, they went crazy with the green dye. It's everywhere. There are only three goblin mask molds that they use on different midget or kid actors so that the goblins look inbred. There's a closeup where we see a goblin's mouth and the fakeness of the mask is revealed. The music is a keyboard synthesizer.

The strangest thing about this movie may be the continual string of non-sequiturs. We see "Nilbog milk" but we never find out why it's there or what it's supposed to do (It presumably doesn't aid in the vegetable-morph process). We never learn about grandpa's powers, why he's unable to stop the family from eating bad food yet is able to hack a goblin with an axe through a mirror later and produce a Molotov cocktail to hurl at the Nilbog preacher. Why turn Arnold into a tree? Who was that girl randomly running through the forest and why doesn't Arnold seem surprised to see goblins? Just who is Creedence and what does her family being "from Stonehenge" have to do with anything? How does "the power of goodness" vanquish the goblins? I have to conclude that there's a satirical undercurrent to this film because it's just that random.

This film is obviously a local product from somewhere in Utah. It changes your perception of that state. According to the cover, this movie is just over an hour and a half but I swear it feels like a three hour movie. I recommend watching Troll 2 if you like funny bad movies, but it's best watched with friends and intoxicating substances. "They're eating her! And then they're going to eat me! Oh my gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawd!"
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The Best bad movie EVER! Zero Stars out of 5
pumpkinhead_lance8 May 2005
This here is a treasure for bad movie buffs like myself. Absolutely unbelievable.

Perhaps my favorite scene is when the family is greeted by complete strangers holding a welcome party in the FAMILY's house. Well... their temporary house that they, uh... well, you'd have to see the movie. Anyways, they are in the house and some old lady is playing country music on the piano. Everyone goes "La la laaa la la la la la la laaaa" and there is this fantastic breathtaking shot of a person carrying a cake towards the family.

Well maybe my real favorite scene is where little Joshua is snooping during a town meeting. They are all discussing the evils of meat, sausages, and clusters of hemorrhoids.

I have never seen a more delightful piece of absolute trash in my entire life. Everything here couldn't be more laugh inducing. It's made on such a technically inept level it's unimaginable. Some of the most memorable (not in a good way) lines of dialog are presented here:

"Joshua is not a little s***, he's just very sensitive."

"If my father discovers you here, he'd cut off your little nuts and eat them."

For a film that's titled "Troll 2" didn't it seem kind of strange that there were goblins and no trolls in the film? And don't let this fool you into thinking the original Troll film is terrible. It hasn't anything to do with that film.

Yes, my friends, if you want bad film-making, look no farther!

"Eggs! BLEH!"
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1/10
Infectious Disease
fifi_fox6667 April 2005
Warning: Spoilers
I'm ashamed to admit I've seen this. I don't know what's worst- the "plot" or the "acting" -I've never seen a more hideous and inept cast! And how about the "special effects" and lame 80's music? Not to mention the hair, clothes, the lack of continuity... and that dance sequence! Was that really necessary?

The only positive thing I can say is that I laughed... but it's not supposed to be funny.

And, huh, "Nilbog?" Who saw THAT coming?

Horribly bad in an epic way. Torment friends, neighbors, love interests and total strangers with this, PLEASE!

I Suffered through it! I inflict it on everyone I know, like the infectious disease it is. Give it a "1" but spread it around.
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10/10
I watch this movie every day...
superhero22 January 2000
Everytime I walk out of a movie theater, no matter what movie I had just seen, I always think to myself, "this was no troll 2..." No movie since has been made that has left such an impact on me as a serious film critic. Why is this movie so great? Unlike 99% of movies out today, Troll 2 accomplishes something most movies don't even come close to and usually fail at, it's entertaining.

This movie has no relation to the original Troll and that is a good thing. The reason it was named Troll 2 is a mystery much like how Tarantino's movie, Reservior Dogs, has everyone guessing why it was named as that. Unfortunately, the director, Joe D'Amato, has taken that secret to the grave with him. The plot, every scene, every bit of dialouge, the acting, the costume and makeup, the music (especially the opening credits --classic), and every little detail of this movie captures your attention leaving you in awe from beginning to end. The movie is about a family who decides to go on a vacation in the small town of Nilbog despite protest from Joshua, the young son and hero of the movie, who was warned from his deceased grandfather about cruel deformed forest dwellers who live in Nilbog. As with most parents of the babyboomer generation, Joshua's pleads are not only ignored, but mocked and ridiculed. The family, needless to say, goes on with the planned schedule and the adventure begins.

One might criticize the casting of this movie. I'd rather have "regular people" in this movie, ("regular people" meaning the demeaning term used by arrogant movie star celebrities which refer to us, the people who aren't movie star celebrities), as this cast in Troll 2 has more personality than any overpaid, silicone enhanced, plastic surgery addicted, tabliod covering, tanning salon using, church of scientologist following, teen movie drama appearing, "actor" out there. Watching the cast is memorizing, especially how they react to the goblin threat.

I could go on forever about this movie, I apologize for the rambling. Go and see this movie, find it, rent it, you will be introduced to a whole new experience you probably have never have had. Until Troll 1.5 or Troll 3, I'm going to defend Troll 2 as a true unique movie experience unlike anything else. Groundbreaking filmaking...Troll 2...Cue the goblin music!
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1/10
If this movie passes for a horror flick, then so does Bambi
lmntathffan18 June 2005
YIKES! I have not seen this movie recently, but I remember wanting to see it when I was very young, right when it had just came out. I believe I was 7 or 8, and I saw the movie in a blockbuster, read the back as best as I could, and said, "That sounds funny". I vaguely remember an opening scene where a man is being fed food by a girl, and he turns into a tree or dies or something, and immediately, I thought, "What the hell is this crap?". The movie progresses at an equally bad rate: A family comes to a town called Nilbog, and not a single one of them notices that Nilbog spelled backwards is Goblin, which makes no sense, because the title of the movie is, I believe, TROLL 2, not Goblin 2. Of course, the lead character, a small boy, happens to glance into a rear view mirror on his parents car, and see's that Nilbog backwards spells Goblin. Only one problem: Nilbog reflected in a rear view mirror spells qodliN, not gobliN. WHOOPS! Then there's this stupid chase scene through a forest, where Goblins keep on popping up from nowhere, and urging people to run towards them. Over all, this movie was pure junk. 1 star because I am in a good mood.
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1/10
Do I give it a "1" because it was so bad, or a "10" because it was so good?
Stoh8012 October 2011
You often hear of movies that are so bad that they're good. It's hard to point to a single movie that is like this though. What some may say is "so good it's bad" may come off to others as just plain bad. However, everyone I have talked to who has seen this movie has agreed: Troll 2 is so horribly, shamelessly bad, that it is good.

The writing for film is more than awkward (take the redundant "Stonehenge Magic Stone"), and the character dialogue sounds so incredibly unnatural they might as well be robots. The reason for this is because the man who wrote the script and directed it, Claudio Fragasso, is a native speaker of Italian. He wrote the script in English when English was (barely) his second language. The acting is absolutely terrible, but who can blame them? This was most likely the first (and last) film any of these actors have been in.

The costumes and special effects have that wonderful B-movie quality to them. While there are many blaringly obvious errors, I find that the smaller ones are actually funnier. Actors shaking when time is supposed to be "frozen," or flies on their face during the climatic scenes. There are so many continuity mistakes that I sometimes found myself wondering if the director was putting them in on purpose. It was like every time the camera shot changed, the crew completely forgot how the previous shot was set up, and had the actors give their best guess on where they're supposed to be.

I think everyone needs to see at least a few horrible movies in their lifetime. Troll 2 is entertaining and hilarious, especially when watched with friends. The plot is ludicrous, but at least you never know what's going to happen next. Many scenes seem completely unnecessary, and this film simply does not bother to justify any of the things that happen in it. The end result is a horror B-movie that ends up being so horrible that you can't help but laugh. The only question I find myself asking now is do I give it a "1" because it was so bad, or a "10" because it was so good?
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Another reason to dislike vegetarianism
allexand15 August 2011
Warning: Spoilers
Exactly what is that makes Troll 2 so bad? Could it be the atrocious acting? The cringeworthy dialogue? The costumes that look as though they came from the Halloween section at K-Mart? The bizarre yet unintentional homosexual subtext? The unexplained disappearance of certain characters? The fact that the monsters who terrorize the heroes in this movie are referred to as goblins not trolls? I could go on and on...

I never saw the first Troll movie, but I'm told that you don't need to see it as the two films are connected in name only. Troll 2 is a rather simple story about the suburban Waits family who decide to exchange houses with a farm family in the town of Nilbog (I'm sure everyone knows the genius behind this name by now). How or why they made such an arrangement is, of course, not explained, as are many other things to come later this film. This also coincides with the youngest son, Joshua's, late-night talks with his deceased Grandpa, who tells him stories about goblins that seek to turn humans into plants and eat them. Once they arrive in Nilbog, Grandpa Seth continuously warns Joshua that the town is inhabited by those very same goblins and he must stop his family from eating anything the Nilbogians offer them. Yes, this really is the plot.

Troll 2 was made by Italians with a limited knowledge of English. And it shows with every line of nonsense the characters spout. According to Italian logic, a kick to the groin can make you homosexual, it's healthy to completely forget about your loved ones once they pass on, ghosts can suffer from a bad sense of direction, tightening your belt can ease starvation, and the only song most people know or like is "Row Row Row Your Boat." Also, corn is apparently an aphrodisiac. I won't go in to the ridiculousness of the actual quotes; you can see most of them on this page.

The nonsensical dialogue is naturally accompanied by nonsensical behavior. A man running from the goblins (culminating in the legendary "They're eating her and then they're gonna eat me" scene) seeks refuge in the creepiest house he can find. Joshua stops his family from eating poisoned food by peeing on it and throwing Molotov cocktails at them. Teenage boys have no qualms about sleeping together half-naked. The citizens of Nilbog don't even try not to act suspicious yet no one ever questions their motives. Everyone is perfectly willing to consume spoiled milk and food covered in green slime without a second thought. The characters were so unbelievably stupid and blind that I often wondered why Joshua didn't just throw in the towel and let the Nilbogians eat his idiot family.

Well, you have bad dialogue and behavior that defies explanation. What's the next logical step? Get bad actors, of course! The actors in this film have admitted to how inexperienced they were and once again, it shows. The standouts in bad acting would have to be Mama Waits and sister Holly. The mother's bug-eyed expressions and flat line delivery makes her seem cold and distant and the actress portraying Holly wouldn't have gotten a part in one of my high school plays. On the other end of the spectrum you have the preacher, the shop owner, and of course, the deliciously hammy Creedence. These three, while by no means good actors, at least appear to be putting some effort into their performances. Creedence nearly steals every scene she's in, not that that's a difficult accomplishment. I wonder if she had fun making this movie because it sure looks like it.

I could go on about more of the negatives of this film: the cheap goblin costumes, the bargain basement special effects (the recycled lightning bolt being the most glaring one), the cheap and out-of-place music score, the ridiculous plot developments (the goblins are repelled by a bologna sandwich, Grandpa Seth does more dead than most people do alive, the contradictory twist ending), but it would be like shooting fish in a barrel. That and I only have 1000 words.

Overall, Troll 2 is one of the funnest, most inept horror films you'll ever see; so much so, that I'm sure somewhere the spirit of Ed Wood is looking down upon it and smiling. Maybe he can freeze time like Grandpa Seth so we can appreciate it that much longer.
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4/10
Sure its bad but worst ever? nah
ramblr787 July 2012
Yes, the acting is bad, the costumes are cheap and the music is laughable. But worst movie of all time? definitely not. I don't have the energy to dissect the film scene by scene nor would anyone want that, but I actually did enjoy certain aspects of the film, what I enjoyed was its 'campy' improvised feel, and how it always manages to avoid cliché, and that even in the most unconventional ways. The film has the creators stamp all over it and when he encounters a snag or hiccup in the plot, be damned to those who disagree with how one should deal it, he plows through it and comes up with his own completely unique solution no matter how illogical it may be. This is film this is make believe, I don't care if it makes sense it is actually refreshing to see a little bit of 'weird' now and then. That is not to say that I wholly enjoyed the film, I found it to drag on and several times let myself be distracted by other things while the film played, it is no great film even in its badness, it is bad for sure, but there were more than a few entertaining moments. For instance, Troll 2 has nothing to do with trolls, it is a movie about goblins, but hey whatever just a technicality eh? lololol.
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2/10
A movie of rich depth
quxeot10 November 2010
So, if you're actually planning on watching this movie, you should be warned. It's not very good. I mean, really not good. At all. It's horrible. It's worse than horrible. Take the worst movie you've ever seen and multiply it by Graham's Number and you'll be close to how horrible this movie is. When someone says about a mediocre movie, "This is the worst movie ever!" you know they haven't seen this movie. Anyone who has seen this movie would be much more likely to say, "The movie I saw is pretty bad, but, it's not as bad as Troll 2." But it's unfair to compare because Troll 2 is like in a whole separate category.

Among the movies that are the worst of the worst, this one's not quite among the bottom dregs, which, to me, includes movies like Manos, Zaat, Beast of Yucca Flats and Pocket Ninjas (among those I've seen). Movies that have NO redeeming value. This movie sort of has redeeming values, which pushes it up (barely) to a 2 out of 10 in my book.

So what are these redeeming values, you ask. Well, there's the hammy over-acting of the witch Creedence, played by Deborah Reed. She doesn't appear to be trying to be funny, but her performance is so over the top, I comes across as comic gold. Then there's some weirdly memorable scenes, like the one where the witch makes out with a guy with a corncob between her teeth and then the room starts filling up with popcorn. And who can forget the scene where the boy, Joshua, pisses on everyone's food to save them (should I even try to explain this)? And then there's the famous "Oh my God!" line that's been popularized as one of the worst death scenes in film history.

To explain all the things about this movie that went wrong would exceed the character limit of this review, by a lot - a lot a lot. I won't even try. Unless you're really into bad movies, you should stay away from this movie, far away. You shouldn't even watch a movie on a video player that's ever been use to play this movie. It'd probably make even Citizen Kane suck by it's residual suckitude. Any video player that's been used to watch this movie should be subsequently burned and buried deep underground to prevent the infection from spreading. But if you are into bad movies and you love to laugh at them, this one is definitely worth laughing at.
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10/10
Instant Therapy
ciellenator18 July 2007
Feeling down lately? Need a little pick-me-up to help you see the good in the world again? Why, just pop Troll 2 into the DVD player and you're good as new! So, this movie is pretty much the best movie in the world. I accidentally first saw it with a bunch of my friends at a party...it was HILARIOUS. The sad thing is, the actors are completely serious during the movie...which makes it funnier! Five minutes into the movie, I was laughing hysterically. Basically, we were all like, "WHAT?! WHAT THE @%^# IS GOING ON??!" It's probably the funniest thing you'll ever watch, trust me. I don't even remember what happened in the movie, except for the part where the guy goes "They're eating her! And then they're going to eat me! Oh my gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawd!" Honestly, how can he retain that much air in his lungs?? It goes on for so long, you can't even breathe from laughing so hard. And then that kid, Joshua, pees on the food. WHAT?! Lol, it had me laughing forever-- YOU CAN'T P*ISS ON HOSPITALITY! Now I have a bunch of quotes that I can fire back and forth between my friends and I. Oh, and the other part I remember is the "sexay" scene with the witch, one of the guys, and a corncob. HAHAHAHA, there are no words to describe it. Honestly, who tries to seduce someone with an EAR OF CORN? Then it pops--- hysterical! Anyway, I would watch this movie over and over again just because it cheers me up so much. Better to watch this with a few friends than by yourself, because for some reason it's just funnier that way. OH MY GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWD!
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10/10
Hysterical-You haven't seen anything until you've seen TROLL 2!
KryptoniteCornCob17 February 2005
Warning: Spoilers
(Contains 1 minor spoiler (noted later in review, otherwise spoiler-free)

Let's see..where do i start? This is unquestionably the funniest movie i have seen in my life. I had only heard bad things about this movie (to avoid it, etc.) but i came across the Troll/Troll 2 DVD used at a local store, and i like the first movie, so i bought it. Now don't get me wrong, i love the first movie, but Troll 2..oh man..i had no idea what i was in for until i watched it. i mean WoW, this movie is so bad, so horrible, that i just couldn't help but cry from laughter just about every 5-10 minutes. From the acting (if it can even be called that) to the 'plot', to the costumes, *Everything* about this movie is so over-the-top horrid/ridiculous, that it makes this movie one of, if not the best comedy ever made. While Troll 1, of course, is the meat & potatoes of this DVD, Troll 2, unbelievably, is the true reason to buy this DVD. It is so compellingly entertaining, is HAS to be seen to believed. Troll 2 rivals every so-bad-it's-hilariously good/entertaining movie that i've ever seen. It beats Halloween III, Link, It's Pat, Cabin boy, The good son, Sleepwalkers, and C.H.U.D. just to name a few. Don't get me wrong, i mean that in a good way, as i love the above movies, it's just that i didn't think it could get any better than those movies--and then Troll 2 happened. This movie is easily the king of cheese, and i also mean that in a good way, because regardless if it was indeed unintentional or not to make such a hilarious movie, it succeeds at what almost every current Hollywood fails at--Troll 2 is actually entertaining. And in the end, that's ultimately what matters--is that a movie is entertaining and holds the viewers' interest for the entire duration. Troll 2 does just that and much more. And it's actually extremely successful as a comedy. (WARNING: Minor spoiler ahead) If Troll 2 doesn't make you laugh throughout, just wait until you see what the little kid ends up pulling out of a carry sack (given to him by his grandfather)towards the end of the movie to be used as a 'secret weapon' to defeat the goblins. That scene has got to be the funniest thing i have ever seen in *any* movie. At that point, my eyes were so full of tears from laughing, that i couldn't concentrate on the movie and so i had to momentarily pause the movie and recollect myself. In closing, to every fan of cheesy cinema out there-believe me when i tell you, this movie is rich. You haven't seen anything until you've seen TROLL 2. It's hysterical. It should be in every fan's collection. Go out and buy it now before it goes out-of-print. You'll regret it later. This movie is so good and hysterically entertaining, that i can't help but give it a 10 out of 10 rating. Troll 2 is simply great. I could watch it again and again and not get tired of it. To the makers of this movie: You have made an excellent movie and i would love to see a multi-disc special edition DVD set for Troll 2! Do it for the fans!
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1/10
Suckfest
blackpurple779 April 2005
Warning: Spoilers
This is so horrible yet laughable at the same time. It's definitely worth watching just to goof on with friends. First off, the fact that they never mention the cheap k-mart costumed creatures as trolls (The Friggin' title of the film!!) but as Goblins should already say they were losing the concept quickly. But I guess the fact that the writer had the genius idea of naming the town Nilbog (Goblin spelled backwards) there was no turning back. OK, fine. So they're Goblins not Trolls, then why throw in a Leprachaun mythos by having them all be burned with clover scars and evil green St.Patty's day food? Which by the way when eaten turns you into a goblin. Hilarious scene where the kid prevents his family from eating this food. Hint: Urine for a surprise.

This is nothing compared to the actual thing he uses to finally defeat the goblins in the end. I'm gonna tell you, since it's so retarded. It's a friggin' Balogna sandwich!!! What the Hell!!! He eats it, because apparently the Gobbys are vegatarians and just can't stand meat? Whatever.

BY the way the sandwich is supplied by his dead grandfather who constantly pops in and out of scenes. Acting is 100% horrible. Story sucks, but funny as all hell!
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1/10
A more fitting tagline might have been "What the hell was that?"
Smells_Like_Cheese4 February 2011
Warning: Spoilers
Oh, my God, where do I even begin with this film that hasn't already been said? Troll 2 is so famous that I think it can't be considered a cult film any more as it's gone more mainstream. Again, how I never saw this film until last night I don't know. I've heard so much about these Troll movies that it's just crazy how a film so bad has such a huge reputation. The Room by Tommy Wiseau has recently taken over the "king of good bad movies" crown but I had to see who was the former king and Troll 2 often came up in the conversation. Now of course due to YouTube the most famous scene being the "They're eating her and then they're going to eat me! Oh, my Goooooood!" has been uploaded too many times to count. But this film is so much more than that: horrifically bad acting, awful special effects, a weird "plot", bad writing and just craziness ensues.

Joshua Waits is being contacted by his dead Grandpa Seth. Seth informs Joshua of evil creatures known as goblins roaming the world who force or trick humans into consuming poisoned food which will turn them into the goblin's favorite type of food, vegetables. The goblins would then eat them.Meanwhile Joshua's sister, Holly, receives a visit from her boyfriend Elliot. She accuses him of spending too much time with his friends. Since she and the rest of the family are going to Nilbog for a holiday, he offers to meet her on the way. She agrees but under the condition that he will come alone without his friends. However, Elliot does not turn up at their meeting point and Holly's parents, Michael and Diane, go on without him. They meet him further up the route but she angrily dismisses him since he is accompanied by his friends. A meal has been prepared at the house where they are staying, but Joshua's grandfather shows up again and freezes time for thirty seconds, giving Joshua a chance to stand up on the table and urinate on the food, and thus prevent his family from eating. Meanwhile one of Elliot's friends, Arnold, goes out for a walk and meets a woman being pursued by the goblins. Running away, they enter the house of the goblins' druid leader, Creedence, who uses the "Stonehenge Magic Stone" to give the goblins power. Creedence dupes the two into drinking a magic potion which causes the woman to disintegrate into a puddle of vegetable matter which is then eaten by the goblins, and now we know why everyone in the town is so eager to make the family eat their food, even though they're not so subtle about it.

Between the "you can't p*** on hospitality" scene to the corn on the cob seduction scene, this movie is unbelievable. I don't know who was the worst actor in here but I'd say the leading contender is Deborah Reed who plays Creedence, the leader bad troll, I guess it was one of those "non acting" days. She was beyond over the top making you wonder what she was inhaling before each shoot. I love how the dead grandpa is talking to his young grandson, why wouldn't he just haunt one of the adults so maybe someone who doesn't sound like they have a wild imagination talk some sense into this family who is going to "Nilborg"… mmph! Sorry, I'm still recovering from this movie, why the family would take vacation to this weird town is beyond me and how they didn't drive away with those "subtle" trolls in disguise as humans who keep telling them to eat, I mean just… wow! Not to mention that they say they're vegetarian trolls, yet are turning human meat into vegetables, I mean, any vegan opinions? Bologna is their ultimate enemy and is by far the weirdest way to defeat an evil monster. I would say this movie is definitely a miracle, how it was created, who knows? Any of the actors or writers realize how bad this was while shooting it? I suppose I should see the documentary "Best Worst Movie" in order to find out, but the question is even if I want to see it? I still need to recover from Troll 2, all I can say is that after I finished watching this movie I finally snapped out of my mind set to see that I had been robbed and was sitting on the floor and the robber left a note saying how he felt bad for me that I was watching Troll 2 and that I would have no meaning for life any more after viewing it.

1/10
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1/10
God punishing humanity for our sins
halestormbeatty27 February 2014
This movie was so bad that it actually inspired me to write my first ever review.

If you have never heard of this movie my only advice to you is to just stay away. if you have heard about it, you've most likely heard that its so bad that its funny. This statement is entirely FALSE! This movie wishes it could be the level of funny/bad that was reached by Snakes on a Plane, or the most recent Die Hard disaster.

This movie is so awful that i could not even make fun of it. I was simply bored and praying to god that the kid who played the main protagonist would just die. The only character worth talking about is the "OH MY GOD" guy. But you can most likely see his better scenes on Youtube.

I simply hated this movie. If you are one of the unfortunate souls who was actually able to sit through this garbage, i feel truly bad for you. If you actually enjoyed this movie, never contact me, i want nothing to do with you
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10/10
BEST B MOVIE EVER MADE
jsberlin30 March 2004
WOW- This movie is stock full of wonderful dialogue, beautiful make-up, acting prowess, and lots and lots of witty catch phrases that don't make a bit of sense! If you like bad movies, Troll 2 is the pinnacle of the early 90's. I am a big fan of Rumpelstiltskin, Leprechaun 3, and the Ice Cream Man, so if you liked any of those, you will LOVE Troll 2. I have also made a drinking game out of this movie. Every time a character says Nilbog, Goblin, or Joshua, you must take a swig of your favorite drink. You will be floored by the end of the movie! Troll 2 is an awful piece of art and one can;t revel enough in its splendor. Ive seen it 5 times this week already!
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1/10
Celery
argyletrout27 May 2005
This movie cracked me up! It was like that guy who ate all the celery at a cocktail party! Especially where Joshuau peed on the food! And there's not even really trolls! His mom has bad hair and his sister can't dance, yet they wonder why he'd rather hang out with his dead grandpa! I didn't get into how Elliot was getting naked with his friends and watching porno stuff with monkeys and bad music, but since your friends are not even worried about how corn and vegetables will kill you, then it makes sense that you button up your shirt when your girlfriend shows up unexpected.

I don't want to even think about reading a cook book about vegetables or have some guy try to make me eat ice cream with raisins on it.

But its good to know a baloney sandwich can save me from that.
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4/10
Curiosity killed me...
electronsexparty6 June 2005
Warning: Spoilers
I saw the Troll I and II double feature at Blockbuster and my first thought was "AWESOME!!!" I knew they'd be bad and I'd love every minute. Plus Troll II is like 7 on the bottom 100 and I wanted to see how bad it really was.

Unlike Troll I, which is funny, cute and entertaining, Troll II is total crap. The movie opens with a bad voice over telling a ridiculous story about Goblins. Goblins, mind you, not Trolls. No one really cares about any of it. The bad voice is that of Grandpa Seth, who is dead. He is pretty bad actor with a hilariously serious look constantly on his face. His expression makes up for his acting. He is telling the story in a Princess Bride fashion to Joshua, an ugly little boy who is the best actor in the movie and that is not saying much. Moving on. The rest of Joshua's family are HORRIBLE actors- the worst I've ever seen. The acting is so bad you'll want to jump into the movie and take over because you know you're Oscar worthy compared to them. Or you'll just wish they would die. There is some mention of a farmer exchange program the family is taking part in. Joshua's sister has a tiff with her undeniably gay boyfriend about his friends (aka lovers).

The family goes to Nilbog. It's deserted. The family is stupid for even going there for whatever reason. Grandpa Seth warns Josh of goblins and the green slime that turns you into goblin chow. Joshua pees on slimy food because his family is blind and about to eat it. The rest of the movie just gets crappier and crappier. There is a hideous German Goblin woman... aww, I'm not even going to go into it. This movie is so utterly stupid it doesn't even deserve a plot synopsis. The plot is bad, the dialogue is cringe worthy and the acting is so bad I wished everyone death in the first five minutes.

This movie isn't even so BAD it's GOOD, it's just bad. Don't ever watch if you can help it.
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1/10
Don't buy this movie if the green icing seal has been broken
rhyatt123 March 2005
Warning: Spoilers
Troll 2 makes Troll 1 look like Citizen Kane. In other words it's bad. Really bad. This movie is so bad that after watching it you'll want to run out and rent Ghoulies to get the taste out of your mouth.

The opening scene has trolls chasing someone through a misty field to the tune of 80's techno music and it only gets better after that.

*********I'm ashamed to say this about such a stupid movie, but this review contains SPOILERS******************

The movie involves a family moving to a town named Nilbog (that's right it's goblin spelled backwards even though the movie is called Troll, not Goblin) and swapping houses with some hillbillies. When watching this movie it's best if you go into it prepared to not ask any questions. Why a family would move into another family's furnished, food-stocked house is better left unexplained. Also why a family would proceed to eat the other family's green icing covered dinner is also better just accepted as normal.

The green icing on the food is a repetitive theme throughout the uhhh...film. It's apparently some sort of troll dna juice that turns the digester into a troll. Although that is never really explained. Another tool the clever goblins..err trolls have come up with is Nilbog milk which also turns the person who drinks it into a troll. If it's that easy, it seems like they could turn the entire world into trolls by mass producing Nilbog milk, but maybe that's not their intention. What the trolls get from turning other people into trolls is never explained like in so many monster takeover movies. The monsters/zombies/trolls/aliens always want to turn humans into their likeness and that's universally accepted, but why? What benefit do they get from making people like them?

Anyways, I digress. The good news for the family is the young boy has an ally in the form of the ghost of his deceased grandfather. The old man has the ability to appear to the boy to provide convenient warnings regarding the trolls just because he hates them that much.

One of the strangest scenes in the movie (there are a lot of them) is when the kid receives a vision from grandpa that he must pee on the green icing covered dinner his family is about to eat to keep them from becoming trolls. Luckily he does this right before his sister unknowingly is about to eat some tainted GREEN ICING COVERED CORN ON THE COB. That's not out of the ordinary at all right?

Another wonderfully horrible scene is when two guys venture into the weird troll witch's lair and one of them is turned into a plant, which doesn't really seem to bother him too much.

This movie is so horrible that every adult should be required by law to see it at least once. Newer DVD players are actually being coded to reject this movie upon reading it. Maybe next time a family will move to a town named Llort and the adventures will start all over again. Oh yeah, and maybe next time they'll throw in some gratuitous nudity to transition the scenes. The R rating the nudity would have provided would have actually been a public service because it would have kept impressionable children from watching this mess.
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10/10
Our favorite Worst film
Micsta11 January 2000
Don't get me wrong, this is one of the worst films ever created. With a Director I believe that dealt with porn and an acting staff we hardly even heard of, I believe that Troll 2 is something that we can remark as simply entertaining. Everything is "corny" about this film and we can't get over the attempt of special effects. But the Trolls look funny beyond belief and that it seems that they have a crazy way of eating without the food ever reaching their tongue which springs stupidity to laugh about. Gotta love the encouragement not to eat healthy too (milk and produce). Well, what else can I say, this movie gets a 10 for worst greatness because I laugh my colon out all the time. In a way, this should of been a porn parody of the first film, but that's just my opinion. Until next time, take care of yourself and each other.
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7/10
Funniest and greatest worst movie ever made!
TalesfromTheCryptfan19 July 2004
A young boy named Joshua and his family from Salt Lake City are taking a vacation in a town called " Nilbog" but the kid discovers the town is inhabited by evil witches and goblins who want to eat them, only the spirit of his grandfather can help guide him on his quest to destroy the goblins in human-form from eating his family and other tourists.

What did this movie had to do with the first "Troll" movie? they didn't even mention Trolls in this movie only Goblins, this one is an Italian-US cash-in in-name-only sequel. I gotta say this has to be the funniest and most cheesiest b-movie i've ever seen in my life as it has a major cult following since it debuted on video in 1992 and had popular HBO/Cinemax showings in the 90's, it has became this generation's "Plan 9 from Outer Space" in terms of a cult movie with a camp appeal and new kind of fanbase. I'm surprised Mystery Science Theater 3000 didn't riff this crappy in a good way sort of film for it would have been their most popular episode of all time, this movie has became a new cult sensation and even spawned a brilliant documentary called "Best Worst Movie Ever" which earned better reviews than this movie itself. This horror-fantasy-comedy hybrid has terrible performances, wooden dialog with memorable quotes, unintentional laughs and terrible special effects.

Two and a half reels out of five (For being so dang funny).
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