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John Henry Richardson,
A coven of vampires operates out of a modeling/escort agency known as Blonde Heaven. Angie came from Oklahoma to find her way into the movie business, but is followed by her boyfriend Kyle. Head vamp Illyana takes a liking to Angie and convinces her to do escort work for the agency, but has other recruiting plans for her as well. While the vampires do their sleazy work around LA (and Angie gets in over her head), Kyle and a vampire hunter team up to try and stop the fiends.Written by
Ed Sutton <email@example.com>
Tons of fake boobs can't even save this movie. Yeah, they helped get through this disaster of a "vampire" movie. In my opinion a vampire movie should have a few things. One of them being scenes were we actually see the vampire biting someone. We are only given the impression that happens in this movie.
I rented this on DVD, titled MORGANA (for what reason I am still clueless, no one is named Morgana). Blonde Heaven is the type of movie that...well, I don't know. I suppose some guys could you it as a masturbatory tool. Or some women could get off checking out the really buff guys. Well, anyway all that aside, this movie is just a bunch of poorly done sex scenes strung together among a few ridiculous scenes that try to be a vampire flick.
What of the back story? Ilyana is searching for her lost love, Vincent. Supposedly, this stupid Hick girl from Oklahoma, with a really, really bad accent, is a face double for him. Um, okay! Well, of course lesbian action ensues.
The beginning scene with the blonde in the shower...so they bid on her and the winner got to bite here? And what was with them grabbing at their heads? Was Ilyana sending some psychic wave to injure them? This is never explained.
Poor acting, lots of boob, naked women, naked men, no plot, bad sound, under-developed script...I don't know what else to say. The sex scenes were so tepid, they wouldn't have aroused anyone, in my opinion. I did, however, find them to be very racy for an R rated movie. Doggie style must be the preferred method by vampires.
The opening with Julie Stain boffing some guy was different. Movies normally don't start like that...well, porno's maybe.
overall this was a dumb movie that just wanted to show flesh.. Which is cool, but come on.
Now, don't get me wrong...as a red blooded male, I did appreciate the X-rated treatment the naked women rec'd. I'm not too big on silicon, but boobs is boobs...and boobs is nice to look at!
4 of 5 people found this review helpful.
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