James Donadio: Gilbert Sipes
Gilbert Sipes : Go play your banjo, Goober!
Gilbert Sipes : Goodbye, Hero Pig!
[Sipes then has an increasingly sinister look as his face is superimposed over scenes showing the package being mailed, sorted, and processed]
Gilbert Sipes : How's our little guy?
Jessica Royce : Much better. Thank heaven.
Gilbert Sipes : The place is crawling with reporters. They all want interviews for the morning shows... with the pig.
Hanky Royce : Where is he?
Jessica Royce : Hanky keeps asking for the pig.
Gilbert Sipes : Oh, I just saw them in the hallway. The pig, the father, the little girl. I told them Hanky wasn't to be disturbed.
Hanky Royce : I'd like to see him, please.
Brinks : [On the phone] Dietz, this is Brinks. What's going on? Mr. Sipes is waiting for a report.
Dietz : Yes, sir. Will you tell him that we're still at the park? And...
Gilbert Sipes : What's your problem, Dietz?
Dietz : Everything's fine, sir. Here, you can ask Krugman.
Gilbert Sipes : No, I don't want to talk to Krugman. Dietz. Dietz.
Krugman : Mission accomplished, Mr. Sipes. All locked up in the trunk of the limo
Brinks : What do you mean all?
Gilbert Sipes : You haven't snatched Hanky, have you?
Krugman : We had to sir. He wouldn't let go of the pig.
[Brinks and Gilbert we're devastated from what they heard. They both turn their backs and clenched their fists to their faces]
Gilbert Sipes : All right. I want you to keep him under wraps. And I want you to keep out of sight.
Krugman : Yes sir.
Gilbert Sipes : I want both sets of tests shipped right away.
Camera Assistant : Don't you want to see them first?
Gilbert Sipes : I want them sent rush to all the test markets. I want 30 second spots, prime time TV, and every major city in America. And I want it rush, urgent, now.
Camera Assistant : Hai!
Hanky Royce : She's really not that fat.
Gilbert Sipes : I demand a retest!
Henry Royce : Sorry, Sipes. The public has spoken. We'll sign Gordy to a lifetime contract.
Gilbert Sipes : Well, you think he looks cute now, but he'll grow into a hog before you know it. You think those pictures of Jessica look fat? We're talking lard city.
Henry Royce : I regret to say this, Sipes but my confidence in you is shaken. From now on, I'll supervise Gordy's publicity build up personally. We found our new image, Ladies and Gentlemen. From now on, Hero Pig brands is us.
Gilbert Sipes : This is an outrage! We challenge the will.
Jessica Royce : Don't worry, Hanky. We'll find him.
Gilbert Sipes : I'm telling you, he's run away.
Jessica Royce : How do you know?
Hanky Royce : Gordy will never do that.
Jinnie Sue McAllister : Hank's right.
Gilbert Sipes : Hanky's wrong and it's about time he woke up. Your mother agrees with me.
Jessica Royce : I do not agree.
Gilbert Sipes : Forget Gordy. He's history.
Jessica Royce : Wait, I remember your grandpa once told me that we own a processing plant in Omaha.
Hanky Royce : You mean a sausage factory?
Gilbert Sipes : I think you're mistaken, Jessica. There is no such plant. Mr. Brinks has the inventory sheet.
Gilbert Sipes : Show them.
Cousin Jake : What about this?
[takes folder from Brinks and hands it to Jessica]
Jessica Royce : [Looking at folder] Royce processing plant. 6 Colfax St. Omaha.
[Gilbert takes folder from her hands]
Jessica Royce : What are you doing?
Gilbert Sipes : This has nothing to do with Hanky's inheritance.
Hanky Royce : Mom, we're back!
Jessica Royce : Hanky!
[rushes to Hanky and gives him a hug]
Jessica Royce : Hanky. Oh, baby, I've been so worried about you.
Brinks : Congratulations, Hanky. Consumer research is at your service.
Attorney : Congratulations, young man.
Gilbert Sipes : Oh, thank heaven. Our search has been successful. Hanky and Gordy safe and sound.
Gilbert Sipes : Your orders were to kidnap Gordy, tie him in the sack and toss him in the river.
Andrea Jenkins : [On TV] Tragedy was narrowly reported by the heroic actions of a brave little pig.
[Man grabs Gordy and Jinnie Sue grabbed him into her arms]
Andrea Jenkins : With no one around to help, the pig apparently jumped into the swimming pool,
[Henry is carrying Hanky and Jessica is right at this side as they head inside]
Andrea Jenkins : pushing an inflatable pool toy, swam to the boy and saved his life.
[Henry, Hanky and Jessica are sitting down watching the news]
Gilbert Sipes : [to reporters] He needs some rest right now.
[Shuts door and reporters leave]
Andrea Jenkins : We've been told that the young Royce is going to be okay. He's expected to make a complete recovery. We've just been talking with a spokesman for the family. He says that Henry Royce and other members of the family are inside with the boy now. We've been told that ceremonies to honor the pig are now being planned by the governor. This is Andrea Jenkins live at the Huntington Estate in Compton county.
[Henry turns off TV]
Gilbert Sipes : Sickening. Hero Pig label puts on one CD and it goes platinum? How do you account for it?