4.1/10
113
5 user 6 critic

Alien Beasts (1991)

| Action, Animation, Horror | Video
Special CIA unit must deal with humans who mutated into beasts after being exposed to alien radiation and evil terrorists who attack the CIA base.

Director:

Carl J. Sukenick
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Cast

Credited cast:
Neal Dealosi Neal Dealosi ... Neal the Traitor
Joe LaPenna Joe LaPenna ... Joe
Mark Torreso Mark Torreso ... Mark Shell
Sara Victor Sara Victor ... Sara Shell / Female Enemy Agent
Evon Fargoun Evon Fargoun ... Evon / Assassin
Rhonda Crawford Rhonda Crawford ... Rhonda / Assassin
Deveen Dellisee Deveen Dellisee ... Enemy Agent
Tom Hackney Tom Hackney ... Henry Hackney
Abe Sukenick Abe Sukenick ... Abe, Security Officer
Carl J. Sukenick Carl J. Sukenick ... Commander Carl J.J. Sukenick / Meat Cleaver Assassin
Peter Messina Peter Messina ... Headquarters Commander (voice)
Rest of cast listed alphabetically:
Sheila Sheila ... Sheila Shell
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Storyline

Carl J. Sukenick is the commander of a branch of the CIA, battling terrorists with martial arts, while his dad keeps watch in the security center. Neal was sent out, but is a traitor, and he was mutated by a radiation blast. He sends Sara Shell to meet her husband, Agent Mark Shell, and daughter Sheila, but the three are brutally maimed and murdered by enemy agents. One cuts off Sara's hand for no apparent reason. A female enemy agent breaks into the base to steal weapons, so Carl sends his friend Joe to investigate. After lolling topless with the weapons for about ten minutes, the agent finally suits up with the gear, only to be accosted by Joe, who attempts to rape her. A radiation blast from Neal the Traitor, who is wandering around an aqueduct killing passersby, mutates Joe as well. Carl says they knew nothing of the "hideous extra-dimensional being" breaking into this dimension, but he sends Evon, Rhonda, and Hackney to fight the mutations and the agent, who giggles constantly, ... Written by Scott Hutchins <scottandrewh@home.com>

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis

Taglines:

See the ultimate action-packed adventure of a lifetime as Earth is attacked by hideous, evil creatures from an extradimensional universe. See more »


Parents Guide:

View content advisory »
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Details

Country:

USA

Language:

English

Also Known As:

Mutant Massacre See more »

Company Credits

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Technical Specs

Runtime:

Sound Mix:

Mono

Color:

Color
See full technical specs »
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Did You Know?

Trivia

Carl J. Sukenick is standing in for Joe LaPenna in the "I will punish you" scene that involves the touching of breasts. See more »

Quotes

Carl: My friend Joe put on anti-radiation clothing and tried to stop the female enemy agent! My friend Joe, I repeat, put on anti-radiation clothing and tried to stop the female enemy agent from stealing the weapons from the base.
See more »

Connections

Edited into The Toxic Retards (2015) See more »

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User Reviews

 
Possibly the most incompetent piece of work I've ever witnessed
25 October 2017 | by Humdinger69See all my reviews

The plot of this little-known SOV travesty (from what I could gather) involves some unknown government corporation fighting against some other random unknown government corporation for control of some briefcase or something. Somebody opens up an inter-dimensional portal and then an alien appears. He wreaks a tiny bit of havoc but mostly just chills under a bridge and occasionally trudges around like he's got a 10-foot pole shoved where the sun doesn't shine.

There actually is a pretty detailed plot description on the film's Letterboxd page, and maybe you could make sense of this mess without reading it if you payed extra close attention. But it's d*mn near impossible to care while watching the movie. You'd either have to make an effort to dig your way through terrible sound and video quality, or try not to bust out laughing at the narrator who sounds like a mentally- challenged (and possibly asthmatic) man reading off of poorly- written cue cards.

Muddled plot progression is only the beginning however. The editing is god-awful and completely random. People repeat themselves constantly for no reason whatsoever. Shots go on for WAAAY longer than they need to. There's a five-minute scene of a woman searching through a closet, undressing and then redressing, only to be undressed again by a crazy government agent (alien?). There's an entertaining claymation freak- out during the climax that breaks up the monotony, but at this point it's too-little-too-late.

Incompetent, dragged-out and completely amateurish, but I got a few good laughs out of it.


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