Blast from the Past (1999)
Christopher Walken: Calvin
Calvin : You have a wonderful sense of humor, son, I must say. The acorn does not fall far from the tree.
Adam, Age 11 : What's baseball?
Calvin : It's a game, son. I can explain it pretty easily. See, there's a pitcher...
Adam, Age 11 : Oh, like a painting.
Calvin : No, a pitch-er.
Adam, Age 11 : Like one of mom's?
Calvin : No. There's a man who throws the ball to a man who has a bat.
Adam, Age 11 : Oh! The nocturnal flying mammal?
[the doors have unlocked, and Helen and Adam are thrilled; Calvin slightly less so]
Adam : Do we just go on up?
Calvin : No, son. Now is the time we must be at our most cautious. We wait for night.
Helen : Oh, shit!
[Helen, realizing Adam has heard her, immediately covers her mouth]
Calvin : Helen Thomas Webber! Maybe we have been down here a little too long. Pardon her French, son.
Adam : "Shit" is French?
Calvin : [uncomfortably] Well, it's archaic French. It's a sixteenth century colloquialism, meaning, roughly, good.
Helen : Your father's right.
Adam : Well. "Shit"!
[Calvin is reassuring his wife on their son's first night away from home]
Calvin : I just want to say, I think he's going to be fine.
Helen : Thank you, Calvin, thank you very much.
Calvin : He's smart!
Helen : Yes, dear, I know, but he's still such a baby.
Calvin : He's a man.
Helen : He's a baby man.
Adam : [Adam is with his parents at the new house] Dad, I don't know how to tell you this. And I was going to wait a while, but I think... Dad, there was no bomb. A plane crashed into our backyard. I looked it up in old newspapers.
Calvin : You're sure?
Adam : Positive. The Soviet Union collapsed without a shot being fired. The Cold War is over.
Calvin : That's what everybody believes?
Adam : Yes, sir. It's true.
Calvin : What? Did the politburo just one day say, "We give up?"
Adam : Yes. That's kind of how it was.
Calvin : Uh-huh.
Calvin : My gosh, those Commies are brilliant! You've got to hand it to 'em! "No, we didn't drop any bombs! Oh yes, our evil empire has collapsed! Poor, poor us!" I bet they've even asked the West for aid! Right?
Adam : Uh, I think they have.
Calvin : Hah! Those cagey rascals! Those sly dissemblers! Those, uh... They've finally pulled the wool over everybody's eyes!