John Grin's Christmas (1986 TV Movie)
Roscoe Lee Browne: Ghost of Christmas Past
John Grin : [Grin peeks out from under his bed-sheets to see Christmas Past standing there] I don't keep any money around here.
Ghost of Christmas Past : It's not money I'm here for.
John Grin : You must be the first one this month.
[Christmas Past hands him a business card]
John Grin : "Christmas Past"? Whatever possessed your parents to name you that?
Ghost of Christmas Past : To be more precise, I am the GHOST of Christmas Past.
John Grin : If you're a ghost, I'm Cyrano de Bergerac.
Ghost of Christmas Past : You haven't the heart for it.
[he rubs his hands, causing thunder and lightning]
Ghost of Christmas Past : I beg your pardon; my hands are terribly dry. They tend to build up excessive static electricity; it's an occupational hazard.
John Grin : Why don't you put some lotion on them?
Ghost of Christmas Past : They'll be just fine, if no one upsets me... To put it bluntly, John Grin, most people your age have already shown far more concern for their immortal souls.
John Grin : I knew it; you're an undertaker.
Ghost of Christmas Past : I *used to be* an undertaker.
John Grin : Now you've got me totally confused.
Ghost of Christmas Past : That's not surprising.
John Grin : You aren't making any sense.
Ghost of Christmas Past : Let me see... How best could I put it, so that a person of your limited emotional resources might comprehend?
John Grin : Try English.
Ghost of Christmas Past : Is that your native tongue? Very well: Each year, it seems, there are a few miserable and miserly hard-noses who feel that a smile - or a hearty "Merry Christmas!" - would kill them.
John Grin : What's all that got to do with me?
Ghost of Christmas Past : [chuckles] Oh, you are PRICELESS!
John Grin : And YOU are obviously *deranged*. If you do not leave my property *immediately*, I will have you thrown out.
Ghost of Christmas Past : [more thunder and lightning] Do us both a favor, John Grin: GET REAL.
John Grin : ...Mr. Oliver, give me the specifics of the latest contract.
Sam Oliver : ...The latest raise was three years ago; they got a 6% increase. The cost of living has gone up 15%, which is what they're asking, but they'll settle for 10%.
John Grin : Six percent, Mr. Watson. Take it or leave it.
Mr. Watson : Mr. Grin, that's unreasonable.
John Grin : *Six percent*. Take it or leave it, I said...
Ghost of Christmas Past : I've seen tough in my time, and I've seen *tough*. But THIS!
John Grin : [to Xmas Past] These people often seem to forget who the company belongs to.
Ghost of Christmas Past : Yet they can't fool *you*, can they?
Mr. Watson : ...Mr. Grin, we have to reach some sort of an agreement here. As a Union rep, I'm obligated to ensure that the workers are dealt with fairly.
John Grin : Well, Mister Union Rep... Since you also work for *me*, I'd say you have a tremendous conflict of interest.
Sam Oliver : Sir, even if you give them what they're asking, the Firm will save a lot of money with this contract.
John Grin : Mr. Oliver... If I followed that kind of advice, I'd go bankrupt in less than a month.
Mr. Watson : Every time we talk contracts, it's the same thing: You want to pay us workers less than we're worth!
John Grin : Well, as of this second, that's no longer your concern. You're fired!
Mr. Watson : That's a direct violation of a specific agreement between the Union and the Firm!
John Grin : Mr. Watson! Do I look, or sound, like I care what it's a violation of?
Sam Oliver : He's right, Mr. Grin; by State Law, it'll have to go through Arbitration.
John Grin : Mr. Oliver... If *you* like YOUR job, then kindly refrain from telling me who this will have to go through. As for you, Watson... if we were under *your* roof, I would have invited you outside for the way you just spoke to me. However, this is MY roof. Your employment has been terminated. And you can tell the Union that, if they don't like it, I can send a goon squad to deal with them. Who knows? Perhaps they can hire my workers - starting with Mr. Oliver here - to fix their office back up again afterwards. Because they sure aren't making themselves useful with me...!
Ghost of Christmas Past : ...Really, did you feel that was called for?
John Grin : What choice did he give me?
Ghost of Christmas Past : Couldn't you have told him you'd think it over?
John Grin : *He* should've thought it over, before shooting off his big mouth.
Ghost of Christmas Past : Good Lord! I'm most grateful I never had to work for anyone like you.
John Grin : I'll have you know I've fired better workers than him over less than that.
Ghost of Christmas Past : Should I be surprised?
[Clearly, he isn't surprised at all]
Ghost of Christmas Past : I wonder if you've gotten anything at all out of this.
John Grin : Oh, I've gotten something out of this all right: a splitting headache.
Ghost of Christmas Past : Perhaps it's *heartburn*. Moreover, perhaps it's what you NEED. With any luck at all, you and I will never need to meet again. One last thing: I urge you not to overlook Sam Oliver; he's a far better fellow than you've given him credit for. On that note, I wish you well.