Urban Legend (1998) Poster


Alicia Witt: Natalie Simon



  • Paul Gardener : Hey, how about some interviews? You know, students react to the tragedy on campus.

    Brenda : Okay. I am saddened, and moved by the tragic...

    Natalie : This was someone's life Paul. Did you even spend one minute thinking about that?

    Paul Gardener : No, I didn't. But because of my story, three-thousand five-hundred students will. I think that's enough to help me sleep at night.

  • Bitchy Girl : [says to Natalie while Natalie is walking to her dorm]  Sounds like Elvira's raising more than just the dead in there.

    Natalie : Thanks for the warning.

  • Reese Wilson : [imitating Coffy on TV]  This is the end of your rotten life you mother fucking dope pusher! It was easy for him because he really didn't think it was coming, but it ain't gonna be easy for you cuz you better believe it's coming!

    [Natalie enters] 

    Reese Wilson : Girl, what's the matter with you?

    Natalie : They killed him! Somebody killed him!

  • Paul Gardener : Hey, what was all that about? Reckless endangerment? We're not exactly talking about running a stop sign, are we?

    Natalie : I really don't want to talk about it.

    Paul Gardener : Okay, then what do you want me to talk about? My career options without a body of writing samples? Because for your information, now that I'm off the paper thanks to you, my samples and resume are kind of limited.

    Natalie : It was in high school, Paul! It's over!

    Paul Gardener : Look, does this have something to do with Michelle Mancini?

    Natalie : [angrily]  I told you, I don't want to talk about it!

    Paul Gardener : Hey! I just want to know what's going on here with you. Your theory... "mad killer on campus"... 'cause I don't know if I buy it anymore. I don't know if I ever bought it.

  • Weird Janitor : I ain't going to bite you.

    Natalie : Ugh... uh, okay then, okay, c'mon, just...

    [Natalie starts trying to open the door but the handle won't work] 

    Natalie : Please just, just let me out, please!

    Weird Janitor : Well, it doesn't open from the inside... what's wrong with you?

  • [to Natalie, Brenda, Paul, and Sasha] 

    Parker : Don't you guys get it? Come on, it's just like that urban legend.

    Natalie : What are you talking about?

    Parker : You know the story, A boy and a girl, parked out in the woods, making out...

    Brenda : [to Natalie]  You made out with him?

  • Damon : Hey, we're going down to Parker's dorm. Hootie's gonna pierce his nose.

    Natalie : Hootie's a dog, Damon.

    Damon : That's no reason why he can't be hip.

  • Natalie : Brenda, you need help.

    Brenda : I have already tried therapy! Obviously, it did me no good, Natalie.

  • Natalie : Someone's taking all of these urban legends, and making them reality.

  • Natalie : You're fucking crazy!

    Brenda : I prefer the term "eccentric". But, yeah, I guess I'm a little "nutty".

  • Damon : Are you sure you don't wanna think this over? Cos, I'm all about you, Natalie.

    Natalie : One black eye or two Damon. You decide.

    Damon : Fine. I'm gonna go take a piss.

  • Natalie : [after previously walking in on Tosh having sex]  Hey Tosh, sorry about last night.

    Tosh Guaneri : Yeah? Well, don't let it happen again.

    Natalie : [notices a tub of Lithium on the floor]  Here you dropped these.

    [Tosh takes them and goes back to the internet. Natalie picks up the phone but it's dead as Tosh is online] 

    Natalie : Umm... Tosh; excuse me.

    Tosh Guaneri : [angrily turns the computer out and puts out her cigarette]  This is my phone-line too!

  • Reese Wilson : You mind telling me what the hell you're on?

    Natalie : Nothing! Reese I'm telling you the truth, it was right here... the car was...

    Reese Wilson : Right here.

    Natalie : Reese, I saw his body, I touched it. It was probably the same person who killed Michelle Mancini.

    Reese Wilson : That's impossible, baby, the police arrested that gas station attendant this afternoon.

  • Brenda : What's happening? I heard Sasha on the radio and...

    Natalie : She's dead!

    Brenda : Oh my God! Are you sure?

  • Sasha : Hey, Nat. Look what I found.

    Natalie : What?

    Sasha : An early edition of Kama Sutra, with illustrations.

    [Sasha opens the book, revealing illustrated pictures of people in various sexual positions] 

    Sasha : Think Parker will get into it?

    Natalie : Does he have a choice?

    Sasha : No.

    [They both giggle] 

  • Sasha : Wait a second. This is definitely not a myth!

    Natalie : What?

    Sasha : The gang high-beam initiation. It happens all the time. Gang members drive around with their headlights off, and when someone goes and flashes their high-beams to warm them, they kill them! That's why I never warn anybody about anything when I drive.

    [Natalie seems uncomfortable about this topic] 

    Sasha : Anyways, I've gotta go. I've got some homework.

    [Sasha picks up her Kama Sutra book and Natalie laughs] 

    Natalie : See you later, Sasha.

    Sasha : Bye.

  • Sasha : [through the speakers]  Oh my god! Help me! Somebody help me!

    Natalie : Something's happening!

    Nerdy Guy : No, she's doing a performance art piece to commemorate the massacre.

    Sasha : [through the speakers]  Oh god. Help me! Please!

    Nerdy Guy : She's good. I've got chills.

  • Natalie : So this is where you research all your lurid articles?

    Paul Gardener : Reality is lurid.

  • Brenda : [after hearing about the news of Michelle Mancini's death by decapitation]  Hey, did anyone here know her? She roomed in Daly.

    Sasha , Parker : No.

    Brenda : [Natalie seems lost in thought. Brenda snaps her fingers]  Hello? Space cadet.

    Natalie : Oh, no. I didn't know her.

    Damon : Actually, you know, I did know her.

    Sasha : You did?

    Damon : Yeah, and I'll miss her, too. Girl gave great head.

  • Natalie : Wait a second. Isn't there another legend about a guy with an axe in a woman's backseat?

    Sasha : Hello? My mom still checks the backseat before getting into her car.

    Natalie : That's how Michelle Mancini died.

    Brenda : Oh my God.

    Sasha : What are you trying to say, Natalie?

    Natalie : It's like someone out there is taking all these legends, and making them reality.

    Parker : [Sasha and Brenda seem momentarily worried for Natalie, but Parker seizes the moment]  Well, my big question is: what is he gonna do next, huh? Maybe put spider eggs in bubblegum? Or maybe ram a gerbil up a celebrity's ass?

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs

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