Me, Myself & Irene (2000)
Andrew Phillips: Lee Harvey - Age 9
Shonte Jr. : Damn. I can't figure out the atomic mass of this motherfuckin' deuteron!
Jamaal : Shit, man, that shit's simple! Okay. Tell me this. Tell me this.
Shonte Jr. : What? What?
Jamaal : What's a deuteron made up of?
Shonte Jr. : Duh, a proton and a neutron.
Jamaal : Then what's this motherfuckin' electron doing right there?
Shonte Jr. : Shit, I don't know!
Jamaal : Well, get it outta there then!
Shonte Jr. : Okay, so, you're sayin' I add up the atomic masses of the proton and the neutron, right, I see's that, but what do I do with the goddamn electron? Can I bring it over here?
Jamaal : Enrico Fermi'd roll over in his motherfucking grave if he heard that stupid shit. I mean, he'd just turn over ass up in your face. He wouldn't give a fuck!
Lee Harvey : Hey, Jamaal, man, just cut my man some slack, dog.
Jamaal : Look here, man, I'm just tryin' to help him save face, all right? I mean, you know, he keep askin' questions like that, motherfuckers gonna think he's stupid!
Shonte Jr. : I ain't stupid.
Jamaal : Aw, shit, man.
Charlie Baileygates : Mornin', fellas.
Lee Harvey : Oh, hey, Dad.
Jamaal : Hey, Pops, how you doin', man?
Charlie Baileygates : What's all the commotion down here?
Jamaal : Oh, you know, just school shit and shit.
Charlie Baileygates : How's my little guy doing?
Shonte Jr. : Struggling. This quantum physics is confusing. If I don't buckle down, I'm gonna get myself another B-plus.
Charlie Baileygates : Ooh, that'd be whack.
Lee Harvey : Man, he so fuckin' dumb, he think calculus is a goddamn emperor.
Jamaal : [bumping fists] Give it up, dog.
Shonte Jr. : Yeah, well, you think polypeptide's a motherfuckin' toothpaste!
Lee Harvey : Shit, yeah, man, look, you keep fuckin' around, you gonna get that scholarship to Yale taken away from you. Be stuck up there at Stanford with those goddamn sling-blade motherfuckers.
Jamaal : Shit, motherfucker, you be lucky to get accepted to Duke, gettin' a 1430 on yo' SATs.
Lee Harvey : Motherfucker, you know I had the flu.
Jamaal : The flu, my ass! You had a motherfuckin' aneurysm to get a 1430!
Jamaal : Lee Harvey, what's the diameter of a chicken egg?
Lee Harvey : 4.08 centimeters.
Jamaal : No, no, what's that in inches?
Lee Harvey : 1.61, man, what the fuck you gettin' at, man?
Jamaal : I got ten bucks saying I can squeeze a chicken egg up his ass without it breaking.
Shonte Jr. : Man, you can't put no chicken egg up his ass, man, look at him, he a tightass.
Jamaal : No, it can be done.
Lee Harvey : Yo. I'll take that bet.
[They bump fists]
[in a police helicopter on the ground]
Shonte Jr. : Anybody know how to fly this damn thing?
Jamaal : Motherfucker, it can't be that hard, it's just lift versus drag and rotation.
Lee Harvey : Yeah, man, get your head out your ass.
Shonte Jr. : It's not that, man, the controls are written in German, ya asshole.
Lee Harvey : Motherfucker, you speak German don't you?
Shonte Jr. : Motherfucker, I can speak it, I ain't saying I can read the shit all that good.
Jamaal : [Grabs instruction book] You a motherfuckin' disgrace!
[reading in German from the instruction book; subtitled]
Jamaal : Secure the aft doors and adjust the motherfucking rotor pedals!
Shonte Jr. : Jawohl!
Jamaal : [in German] Now, disengage the goddamn inverter switch!
Shonte Jr. : Jawohl!
Jamaal : [in English] Well, get this motherfucker off the ground!